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Chapter 31
Sorry for being late
I messed up the scheduled posting again.
When setting up scheduled posts, I somehow always seem to get the date wrong……
Whether or not I’m mentally prepared, time keeps moving on regardless—
In the blink of an eye, three days have passed, and now I’m inside a vacant room within the royal castle, together with the box that was carried in with me.
All that’s left is to wait for Prince Siphon to come and fetch me, but even though I was brought here to coincide with Father’s departure for work, the tea party isn’t until the afternoon.
Apparently, deliberately staggering the arrival time and the tea party time like this is a strategy to keep up the pretense, even just a little longer, that I’m not in the royal capital.
So until then, I’m supposed to wait here “as a box.”
By the way, today Kachina is also inside the “box.”
So while we wait, I’ll be spending the time here together with Kachina, but……
“Milady, please don’t move.”
“…Okay.”
I’ve been seated in a chair and am letting Kachina do as she pleases.
Since the waiting time is long, we did the bare minimum of preparations at home, and the final touches are to be done inside the box.
Incidentally, this dress-up state—actually, it’s been like this ever since we left the house.
Whether we’re inside a carriage or being lifted and carried by someone, nothing inside the box is affected in the slightest.
So Kachina paid no mind to the fact that we were being transported and continued adorning me.
Even after we arrived, muttering things like “this doesn’t quite work” and “maybe that,” Kachina kept trying various combinations.
“…You said… the bare minimum… would be fine…”
“Yes. That is why I am dressing you so that, at the very least, you will not be looked down upon.”
To begin with, since this is close to a completely private tea gathering, it’s unlikely I’d be looked down on that much anyway, but……
Thinking that, I looked at Kachina’s face and gave up.
At a glance, she looks as cool and composed as ever, but it’s obvious she’s enjoying herself.
Kachina is the only person I allow to freely enter and exit the “box.”
In addition, I’ve prepared a room for Kachina inside the box.
…Eventually, Prince Siphon’s room as well—no, let’s set that aside for now.
Anyway, I told her she could use the room I prepared however she liked, but she filled it with all sorts of tools so she could work as my attendant even inside the box—and, as her main focus, she placed various accessories and dresses there.
At first, I thought Kachina simply liked collecting dresses and small items like that, but that was actually my misunderstanding……
According to Kachina, most of the items in that room are not chosen based on price or the status of their maker—
They are simply things she judged would suit me, purely from her own perspective.
Even if it’s a dirt-cheap item, if she believes it would enhance my charm, she buys it; no matter how expensive it is, if she thinks it wouldn’t suit me, she doesn’t give it a second thought.
She then selects from what she’s bought and places those items in the room inside this “box.”
Perhaps she thought this tea party was the perfect occasion for that collection to truly shine, because she seems particularly fired up about it.
As for me, I’m sitting in the chair, lamenting the fleeting nature of the world……
I feel like I want to sulk and shut myself off from society as it is.
No, I know it’s no longer something I can run away from, but still, emotionally speaking, my resolve isn’t quite set, or rather, I’m lacking courage……
Even at this late stage, I can’t help wanting to run away.
People would probably tell me that since I’ve come this far, I should just brace myself, but I can’t.
I really can’t.
…Even if I’m told that it’s fine to fail, I’m afraid of failing.
No, more than that, I feel like I’ll do nothing but fail… and then I start thinking, wouldn’t it be better not to do it at all?
“Milady.”
“…What?”
“I can’t say I’m one to talk, but still… please try to put on a slightly brighter expression.”
At that, I instinctively touch my own face.
“…Was I… really making… such a gloomy… face…?”
“Yes.”
Kachina nods with a straight face.
Well, of course. With this much anxiety, my expression would naturally darken.
But—
“I wasn’t… that bright… to begin with… you know?”
“That is a difficult statement to respond to, but…
Even if one’s expression doesn’t change drastically, small details like the gaze or the corners of the mouth can alter the impression.
Above all, since earlier, those aspects have been moving in a way that appears darker than usual.”
Saying that, Kachina lightly lifts both corners of her mouth with her fingers.
“Like this—even if you’re not good at forming expressions, just slightly raising the corners of your mouth can change the impression.”
“Your fingers are in the way, so I can’t really… tell…”
A bit of a mean-spirited remark slips out of my mouth without thinking.
In response, Kachina removes her fingers from her face, but her expression remains a smile.
Both of us are aware that our usual expressions tend to come off as cold, but isn’t it a little unfair that Kachina can smile so beautifully that it completely dispels that impression?
On top of that, still wearing that smiling face—
“I thought you might say that.
How about this?”
—she replies like that, and it’s a complete defeat for me.
It’s not like we were having any sort of real contest, but I feel defeated enough to think that way.
And Kachina understands me well.
So even without me saying anything, she probably knows that I’ve completely admitted defeat.
“I understand that you’re feeling a great deal of anxiety about this tea party, milady. It will be your first meeting with Her Majesty the Queen.
However, didn’t His Highness and your father say this as well?
That in the worst case, ‘it’s fine even if you remain a box’—even so, if you wish to leave a better impression, then even if you remain a box, continuing to wear a gentle smile, if not a full smile, will be a powerful weapon. Why not think of today as a chance to practice that?”
“E-even if you say… that…”
“I hear you were able to do it when you were younger, so I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
Kachina, who usually doesn’t show much change in expression, clearly shows her feelings now, telling me with a smile that seems to come from pure belief in me.
That it will surely be fine.
That rare smile of Kachina’s, one that makes it clear she truly believes so.
Ah, ah, ah……
Thinking about her expectations—Kachina’s expectations—my chest feels tighter and tighter, but……
“We still have a little time until noon, so shall we do some practice? Straightening your posture, and lifting the corners of your mouth…”
Though she returns to her usual expression, Kachina looks somehow pleased, and seeing that, it’s clear she truly believes in me.
When it comes to practice, Kachina tends to be rather strict, but it’s born of loyalty—that much is obvious if you watch her normally.
…And precisely because I understand that, it hurts all the more……
“T-today’s Kachina is… really… full of motivation, huh?”
“Of course.”
In response to the words that slipped out of my mouth, Kachina nods emphatically.
“Given your personality, milady, I understand that you strongly wish to refuse this matter.
But at the same time—no, even more strongly—I also understand the feelings you hold regarding your engagement to His Highness.
Considering your future position and state of mind, I believe that no matter how strongly you express rejection, having you participate this time, regardless of success or failure, will bring you closest to the ending you desire most!”
Kachina, who declares without hesitation that everything is for milady’s sake, is dazzling.
She knows my personality inside and out, understands my wishes, and on top of that, acts ahead of time for the sake of the ending I aim for—supporting me, sometimes admonishing me, and in the end striving for the place where I will truly be happy.
…Ah, my heart feels like it’s about to cough up blood in the face of Kachina’s thick, burning loyalty, worthy of a model retainer……
