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Chapter : 10
“The bathroom is behind the building. It’s a modern facility, so it’s actually quite nice. And, believe it or not, we even have separate men’s and women’s bathrooms. It’s the greatest employee benefit our guild has.”
“Ah, that bathroom…”
Heh.
A company with separate men’s and women’s bathrooms was something we could actually be proud of.
I had fought hard to get that benefit through the Crown Prince’s request, after all.
“As for you, Employee Cedric, you’ll mainly assist Team Lead Susanna with cheating-spouse investigations, greet and guide customers when they visit, and help decide what we’re having for lunch.”
“Excuse me? Lunch?”
“That is the most important part of your job, so you need to take it seriously. Pay close attention to what the Guild Master likes.”
“……”
Cedric was silent for a moment before asking in a half-dazed voice,
“Um… what about annual leave?”
“Hmm? What’s that? This is a workplace with fewer than five employees, remember?”
“Then what about weekly paid rest allowances or overtime pay?”
“Haha! Of course we don’t have anything like that!”
“…The working conditions of workplaces with fewer than five employees are an evil of the Empire.”
An evil of the Empire?
He’d been talking about justice and injustice ever since he arrived. Apparently, he viewed the world from a remarkably grand perspective.
“Anything else you’re curious about?”
“…Assistant Manager Audrette, what exactly do you do?”
“Me?”
My actual job was getting summoned to the Temple whenever I’d done something wrong and getting chewed out.
But I couldn’t exactly mention that, so I decided to brag about my one and only achievement.
“When a major request comes in, I handle it. I recently completed two major requests successfully and brought in a considerable amount of money.”
“Do you receive an incentive when you bring in a lot of money?”
“Are you joking with me?”
“…That was an inappropriate question.”
Cedric studied my expression before asking another question.
“Then how do you manage to get assigned such important jobs? It doesn’t seem like this guild has a very well-established information network…”
“Obviously, it’s because of my highly developed skills. A true member of an information guild knows how to uncover information even when working with limited resources.”
“I see…”
“Then may I ask you something as well?”
“Yes?”
“Why did you apply to this information guild?”
“Ah, well…”
He hesitated before answering.
“I’ve always been interested in information guilds. But I didn’t have any meaningful work experience, so I decided to apply somewhere small…”
“I see. Starting your career in an information guild with our guild isn’t exactly the best beginning…”
Ah.
No, wait.
I shouldn’t say things like that to the new recruit.
“But let’s work hard together from now on! This guild is going to grow bigger and bigger!”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“Oh, and there’s something else I’m curious about. You said you used to work at a family-run company. What kind of place was it?”
“A-a family-run company…”
Cedric suddenly looked noticeably flustered.
“That family-run company… had a great many employees, but the hierarchy was extremely strict.”
“I see.”
“And, um, there was a lot of internal office politics… Whenever the company president arrived at work, everyone would stand up from their seats and greet him respectfully…”
So it was basically an ordinary company with an excessive amount of pointless formalities.
Cedric must have had a pretty rough time there too.
Feeling sorry for him, I simply patted him on the shoulder.
“Oh, it’s almost time. Employee Cedric, it’s time to begin your most important duty!”
“By that, you mean…”
“We have to decide what we’re having for lunch!”
“……!”
His expression immediately became tense.
A moment later, he leaned toward me and whispered,
“Could you perhaps review an idea I came up with first?”
“Of course. I’ll help you out for the time being.”
We can’t have the new guy running away, after all.
“How about a simple sirloin steak?”
“Are you joking? Who eats something that expensive for lunch?”
“…Then what about truffle potato gnocchi?”
“Truffle? At that point, we’d be better off just boiling potatoes and eating them.”
“What about salmon ceviche?”
“Haaah… Employee Cedric…”
I let out a deep sigh.
This is bad.
The new recruit seemed like he’d listen to me obediently, but his judgment was a little questionable.
Then again, someone who willingly walked into a terrible workplace like this after negotiating his own salary downward couldn’t possibly be normal.
After finishing lunch with the menu we’d chosen with my help, we had just returned to the office.
Once we’d finished freshening up, brushing our teeth and taking care of our other personal matters, I called out to Cedric.
“Employee Cedric, I’ll give you some money. Could you go outside and buy some coffee?”
“Coffee? But during the onboarding, the Guild Master said he doesn’t like—”
“He likes it when you buy his with your own money.”
“…I see.”
“Here. Go buy them.”
I handed him my wallet.
My precious money…
But I had to endure it for the sake of the bigger picture.
A little while later, Cedric returned carrying four cups of coffee.
I inspected the drinks with the eyes of a hawk.
Wait.
Hold on!
I had originally intended to nitpick him just for the sake of it, but this was genuinely wrong!
“Employee Cedric! What is this?”
“Yes? Is there a problem?”
Looking nervous, he checked the coffee he’d bought.
“An Americano for Assistant Manager Audrette, a signature latte for Team Lead Susanna, a chocolate latte for the Guild Master, and I bought the cheapest one for myself…”
There was nothing wrong with the selection itself.
The problem was somewhere else.
“You should’ve gotten the stamp!”
“The stamp…?”
“They give you a coupon there! After collecting ten stamps, you get a free Americano!”
“Is that really so important?”
“Of course it is!”
Unable to contain my frustration, I launched into a full lecture.
“You have to save even the cost of a single Americano! Do you have any idea how expensive coffee is these days?”
“Ah, understood. I’ll keep that in mind from now on.”
“Phew. There’s still so much you need to learn. Anyway, enough of that. Let’s get down to some real work.”
I shook my head and gestured for him to sit down.
“All right. The Guild Master ordered us to organize this quarter’s requests and prepare a report. Twenty pages.”
“Understood. When is the deadline?”
“Obviously, before we leave work today.”
“What? We only have five hours left…”
“Exactly.”
“……”
This had originally been Susanna’s assignment, but I’d decided to dump it on Cedric instead.
Handsome or not, looking out for myself came first.
Even Susanna gave me a little wink.
She wasn’t stupid enough to work overtime just to make a good impression on a handsome man.
“But are there really enough requests to make a twenty-page report?”
“No? There were only five requests this quarter. I handled four of them.”
“…Were two of those requests made by the same person?”
“Yes. Looks like you did some studying earlier?”
Writing a twenty-page report by hand within five hours was cruel.
This was the perfect time to give him a little carrot.
“Don’t worry. I’ll teach you my secret.”
“There is a secret?”
“Make the font bigger and put illustrations in between. As for the illustrations, just color them in roughly with black and white.”
“……?!”
Cedric looked utterly shocked.
Then, with a determined expression, he nodded.
“I understand.”
Hmm.
I was still a little worried.
Even while working on my own tasks, I kept sneaking glances at him.
“No, Employee Cedric!”
“Yes? Is the font too large? I used sixteen-point type according to the Imperial Court’s official font standards…”
“Sixteen points is way too small. Use thirty-two!”
“But… wouldn’t that make it less of a report and more of a children’s picture book?”
“The Guild Master has poor eyesight. It needs to be that big.”
“…Understood.”
With an oddly hollow expression, Cedric began writing in enormous letters.
Ah, much better.
Now this is satisfying.
At this rate, he’ll actually finish in time—
Wait.
“Employee Cedric! What is that illustration?”
“I’m sorry. Is my drawing really that bad…?”
“No, that’s not the problem. You need to draw it even more crudely! When you’re drawing people, just use stick figures!”
“Yes…? I’m pretty sure I drew better than that even when I was a child…”
“This is the standard of our guild.”
Cedric pressed his lips tightly together.
Now wearing the expression of a man desperately trying to deny reality, he began scribbling stick figures onto the report.
Oh.
That guy can actually draw straight lines pretty well.
“If you need anything else from now on, just tell me. I’ll help you as much as I can!”
“Yes. Thank you, Assistant Manager Audrette…”
