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Chapter – 14
The day after returning from an outing with the young noblewoman was Sunday.
As always, I prepared for the service. I woke up in the morning, read the scriptures while preparing my sermon, and changed into my vestments. It was an ordinary day, no different from usual. I welcomed the congregation, prayed, listened to the choir’s hymn….
Yet I couldn’t focus on the service. My eyes kept scanning the seats, searching for one person.
“May the infinite love and grace of Ataras be with you now and forevermore.”
The moment the service ended with those words, I called for Anton. The reason was that the young noblewoman, Salome, had not attended the service.
At first, I thought she had simply overslept, as usual. Even when she overslept, however, she was normally dragged in by another cleric before the service ended. Why, then, had she not shown her face even once today?
“Anton, where is Lady Salome? It seems she didn’t attend the service.”
“This morning, the cleric in charge reported that she said, ‘I think I have a slight fever, so it will be difficult to attend the service.’”
“…All of a sudden?”
“It’s not all of a sudden, Priest. You came back yesterday looking like drenched rats after falling into the water together. It’s only natural she’d catch a mild cold. And you know how strange she usually is—if she forces herself to attend the service while feeling unwell, who knows what nonsense she might say. It’s better to let her lie down and rest.”
Anton shook his head as if exasperated. His nagging continued after that, but none of it reached my ears. My mind was filled with worry for the young noblewoman.
She had nearly died yesterday, so it was only natural for her to fall ill afterward. Still, that problem was undeniably my responsibility as well. I was the one who had gone out with her.
I should have stopped her before she jumped into the water. With unease weighing on my heart, I handed the scripture I was holding to Anton and turned my steps toward her room. I wanted to check her condition as soon as possible.
“Priest! Where are you suddenly going? Priest!”
Ignoring Anton’s shouts behind me, I forgot even the dignity befitting a high priest and ran through the temple.
When I reached the door to her room, I saw a female cleric coming out with a damp cloth in her hand. I grabbed her and spoke without preamble.
“Y–Yo—Cleric Johan?”
“How is the young noblewoman’s condition?”
“Pardon? Ah… She has a slight fever and a bit of a cough. But she said herself that it’s not very serious, so there’s no need to worry too much. She believes she’ll recover in a few days if she rests well.”
“That’s a relief. May I go in to see her?”
“Yes, of course.”
The cleric looked startled by my sudden visit, but soon seemed to accept it, thinking that as the high priest responsible for her, it was only natural.
She informed the young noblewoman that I had come. From inside, I heard her voice telling me to come in.
“Well, who is it… It’s Cleric Johan. I didn’t expect you to come all this way over something so trivial.”
The female cleric bowed her head and left the room. Only the young noblewoman and I remained inside.
She made a small gesture, beckoning me to come closer. I approached her bedside. She lay there with a damp cloth on her forehead, the blanket pulled up to her neck. Her face was flushed red from the fever.
“Young noblewoman, you don’t look well at all. Are you sure it’s only a slight fever?”
“Yes, it’s just a slight fever, but… well, it feels like I’m about to die.”
She spoke in a remarkably cheerful voice for someone who was ill. I wished she wouldn’t joke like that—every time I heard it, my heart felt as though it were dropping.
I pulled a nearby chair over and sat beside the bed. She stared at me for a moment, then held out her hand.
“Wouldn’t it be better to call a physician?”
“I don’t want a physician.”
“Why are you being so stubborn, young noblewoman?”
“…I’m cold. Please hold my hand.”
I hesitated briefly, then took her hand. It would be discourteous to refuse the request of someone who was sick.
Her hand was hot, like a burning ember. Her claim that it was only a mild fever was clearly a lie.
With my other hand, I reached out and brushed aside the strands of hair that had fallen across her face. I had no particular intention in doing so—it simply looked uncomfortable, blocking her view. She widened her eyes briefly, then smiled faintly.
“You jumped into the lake too, yet I’m the only one who caught a cold. That’s unfair somehow.”
“You did it of your own accord—what are you talking about? If you hadn’t had the absurd idea of jumping into the lake in the first place, none of this would have happened.”
“But you jumped in by your own will too, didn’t you? I never asked you to save me.”
She wasn’t wrong. Judging by how she still refused to lose an argument even while sick, she would surely be back to full health in a few days. I decided to stop this pointless bickering and changed the subject.
“Did you warm yourself properly after returning yesterday while still soaked?”
“I washed up right away, but… after changing clothes, I went out for a walk.”
“That’s exactly why you caught a cold. You must take better care of yourself. You’re not so young that I need to manage every little thing for you. You’re an adult.”
After that, I went on for quite some time, lecturing her about what to do if one falls into water, how to keep warm, and so on.
The young noblewoman, whom I had expected to interrupt or protest at least a little, surprisingly did nothing of the sort. Like a child aware of her own fault, she quietly endured the scolding.
Had she realized her mistake? If so, that was a relief. Her uncharacteristic behavior softened my heart.
“In any case, take this as a punishment bestowed by the gods upon you for treating your body so carelessly, and be sure to rest properly.”
With that remark, I tried to stand up. But she didn’t let go of my hand.
Did she have more to say? With no choice, I sat back down. When I looked at her intently, she spoke with a dissatisfied expression.
“And yet you gave no punishment at all to the priest who hugged my unconscious body tightly and kissed me.”
Yesterday’s events flashed through my mind—the moment when, seeing her unconscious, my mind went blank and I acted without thinking. Feeling my face grow hot, I lowered my head.
It may have been an action unbecoming of a priest. But there was no selfish desire behind it. It was done to save her life.
Rather, if one were to refrain from using a method that could save a person lying before them, merely for the sake of chastity or decorum, surely the gods would be angered.
Having reached that conclusion, I spoke hurriedly.
“That wasn’t a kiss—it was a life-saving measure!”
Yes. It was a life-saving measure. Then why hadn’t I been able to refute her words yesterday? Why hadn’t I pushed her away when she suddenly kissed me? I couldn’t understand myself.
In any case, I had found my rebuttal. No matter what she said now, I was confident I could counter it. I lifted my head proudly.
The moment I did, her face was right in front of mine.
What was this situation?
Before my mind could even process it, she held my cheek with one hand and slowly pressed her lips against mine.
I saw her long eyelashes trembling slightly. Her lips were warmer than yesterday. Her warm breath brushed against my skin.
This was impossible.
My thoughts froze, and I couldn’t push her away. Was I dreaming? Why was I kissing a sick young noblewoman? Why—why was I, a priest sworn to chastity?
Perhaps short of breath, she pulled away from me sooner than she had the day before. Smiling softly, she said,
“This isn’t a life-saving measure, is it?”
I had no words to refute her. This was not a life-saving measure.
“To come into the room of a maiden who’s ill and do something like this… This time, surely the gods will punish you, Priest.”
After saying that, she released my hand and waved dismissively, as if telling me I could leave now.
Dazed, I stood up and did as she said. I quickly closed the door so no one would see—but in my haste, I banged my head against it.
Rubbing my aching forehead, I walked down the long corridor. The scene from moments ago replayed endlessly in my mind.
“Achoo!”
A sudden cough escaped me, and I covered my mouth with my hand. Her words echoed in my ears. Perhaps this truly was a punishment from the gods upon a fallen priest.
I grabbed my head with both hands and paced in place.
Just how many times have I kissed her now?
…O gods, please forgive this deeply sinful soul.