Chapter 3:

The Weasel and the Teddy Bear (1)

Can a modern office worker catch a fast-running weasel?

Under normal circumstances, the answer is no.

How could some dried-up modern human—withered by monitor light all day and baked by CPU heat—possibly catch a wild weasel?

But the body I was currently using belonged to the holy knight David.

A body trained long before convenient inventions like scooters and cars—devices that were useful but did absolutely nothing for physical fitness.

A body forged through years of brutal training in an organization that probably made modern military boot camps look lenient.

So naturally, I thought catching one cute and infuriating little weasel would be easy.

…Or so I thought.

“…”

Until the unbelievably fast weasel proudly climbed a massive tree beside the church.

David’s body truly was remarkable.

The fact that I could sprint through the forest after a four-legged animal without becoming short of breath proved as much.

The problem was that I, a former office worker, still couldn’t fully utilize this body.

I was clumsy.

‘What good is top-tier hardware when the software is outdated?’

I really should’ve learned parkour or something.

Letting out a sigh deep enough to sink the earth itself, I slowly raised my head.

This wasn’t the time to stand around lamenting my circumstances.

My gaze traveled up the enormous tree.

The trunk was so thick that even ten grown men with their arms stretched out probably couldn’t encircle it.

Yet the upper half was strangely gaunt.

The tips of the branches stretched toward the sky, dry and sharp.

Torn strips of cloth wrapped around them in place of leaves.

The ragged scraps danced in the wind, creating an eerie sight.

Actually, that part wasn’t the problem.

Maybe the tree had simply withered.

Maybe someone had hung cloth on it.

Setting aside my personal biases and impressions, neither was particularly concerning.

If I lowered my eyes a little, I could probably ignore it entirely.

‘The problem is…’

I silently stared at the branch where the weasel sat.

“Kyung?”

“…”

Unfortunately, that branch extended directly over the church wall.

Unfortunately, it was unusually long.

And unfortunately, it was rather thin.

If a person climbed onto it, it looked like it would snap immediately.

And if it broke—

I’d fall straight into the church grounds.

Even my growing despair withered away at the sight.

I stared blankly at the weasel.

Its black eyes sparkled.

Its slender neck tilted curiously.

It was an incredibly adorable gesture.

But considering that one of my extra lives was currently hanging from its mouth, I couldn’t simply admire its cuteness.

I looked desperately at the dried meat clenched between its teeth.

Suddenly, I started resenting myself for not eating it during the past ten days.

‘I should’ve just eaten that jerky…’

Thinking about it now, there was probably a much higher chance that it wasn’t human meat.

Seriously.

Humans weren’t even practical prey.

They were intelligent, difficult to kill, and carried risks of disease transmission.

What kind of bizarre rich psychopath would go through the trouble of killing people, seasoning them, carefully drying the meat, and scattering it across the map?

‘…I shouldn’t have been such a coward.’

As I stared mournfully at the dried meat for a long time—

“Kyuu!”

“…?”

The weasel’s tail swayed back and forth.

Then its black eyes locked directly onto mine.

Its raised head turned, and one of its paws waved from side to side.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

After a moment of consideration, I waved back.

“Kiung!”

The weasel tilted its head repeatedly.

Resting one hand against the tree, I continued thinking.

‘…What does that mean?’

Some kind of weasel communication?

More importantly—

‘Does it understand my signals?’

As I pondered, a realization suddenly struck me.

This world, Mirábĭlis, was completely different from the one I had lived in.

From my perspective, it was a game world.

‘So there could be mechanics I don’t know about.’

After all, Mirábĭlis wasn’t just a horror game full of jump scares.

It also contained fantasy elements like Holy Water purification and Divine Revelations.

And according to the CEO, there were even settings and backstories that never appeared directly in the game.

Given all that, wasn’t there one fantasy trope that immediately came to mind?

‘Beastfolk. Or at least… the possibility of communicating with animals.’

The latter sounded more like a Disney princess movie than a horror game, but still.

If that was true…

‘Let’s negotiate.’

I was the only one who desperately wanted that dried meat.

Not because it was food.

Because it was a life-restoring item.

From an animal’s perspective, it was probably just some weirdly salty piece of meat.

Remembering that, I opened and closed my mouth a few times, mimicking chewing before pointing at my mouth.

The tiny creature simply tilted its head.

“Kiung?”

I repeatedly clicked my teeth together while gesturing.

It probably looked like a broken woodpecker.

Yet surprisingly, the weasel’s eyes began sparkling.

Its little paw rubbed against its mouth.

I nodded enthusiastically.

“I’ll trade you for something else!”

“Ki?”

“In the village… there’s a house where I can get chickens—I mean, eggs…”

…

Wait.

How do you mime an egg?

Trying to organize my thoughts, I awkwardly stretched out my arms and flapped them.

A profound sense of self-reflection washed over me, but I persisted.

As I twisted and flailed around like someone wringing water out of a towel while desperately attempting advanced body-language communication with a wild weasel—

The creature moved.

Its paw.

No—

Its forepaw.

And then—

“Uh…!”

To my astonishment, it grabbed the dried meat with both paws.

I stared, entranced by the dexterity of a creature that supposedly lived in the wild.

Could it actually understand me?

Seriously?

‘Is this weasel some kind of genius?’

My gaze conveyed exactly that.

Its short, fluffy legs firmly gripped the dried meat.

Small but dangerous claws carefully pinched the end of the meat.

Then it slowly lifted it toward its open mouth.

And—

Nom.

It ate it.

Then—

Tap!

Leaping gracefully like a flying fish,

Dash dash dash—

It ran straight into the church grounds.

“…”

I stood there like a stone statue for a very long time, staring at the place where the weasel had last stood.

My eyes drifted blankly as countless questions filled my head.

Who am I?

Why am I here?

What exactly just happened?

What are the fundamental principles of the universe?

How should life and death be defined?

I want to go home.

Why can’t I go home?

Why the hell has my life turned out like this?

The questions piled up until they completely filled my mind.

Then they vanished without a trace.

Thump.

“Fuuu…”

Using one hand to steady myself against the tree, I took a slow breath.

I still hadn’t fully adjusted to the fact that my life literally depended on pieces of jerky I found lying around the village.

And now…

‘That life item got stolen by a home-invading weasel?’

A solution suddenly occurred to me.

‘What if I catch the weasel, season it, and turn it into dried meat…?’

I immediately discarded the idea.

Not because I felt sorry for the weasel.

I was the one facing death here.

I wasn’t that self-sacrificing.

The real problem was—

‘I don’t know the recipe, there’s no guarantee homemade jerky would count as an item, and most importantly…’

My cooking skills were hopeless.

Memories surfaced from middle school home economics class.

“You were born in the wrong era.”

“Huh? Why?”

“With alchemical talent like this, you’d have gotten noble sponsorships in no time.”

“Really? Was it that good?”

“I’m saying you somehow created poison using only bread, butter, and apples. That’s an insult, by the way.”

“As if you’re one to talk… Why is it annoyingly delicious?”

“Don’t compare yourself to me. It’s disrespectf— Teacher! Park Minhyun isn’t doing the assignment and keeps hitting me!”

“—Ah!”

And somehow I was supposed to make jerky?

Even if it was simple, there weren’t any supermarkets here.

No soy sauce…

Wait, what even goes into jerky?

Whatever.

I didn’t have it.

And besides—

“…Ha.”

In the end, this was my fault.

After calming myself down, I shook my head and straightened up.

Since I was already out here, I might as well search the area and see whether I’d missed any dried meat before.

Or maybe some had respawned.

I couldn’t go into the village itself, since I needed to avoid the townspeople.

“…It’d be nice if I found something.”

Just as I muttered that and turned around—

Tap.

Tok-tok.

The sound of pebbles falling drew my gaze.

And then—

“…Huh?”

A new possibility came into view.

* * *

Around seven o’clock the next morning.

Standing in front of my cabin, I tightened the laces on my boots and checked my inventory, equipment, and outfit.

‘Supplies are fine. Equipment…’

A broken-legged table I’d stolen from a neighboring house to use as a shield if necessary.

A kitchen knife to use as a weapon.

Two quilted jackets worn beneath my clothes as makeshift armor.

‘…David’s a knight. Considering the setting, I really thought he’d have actual armor.’

Unfortunately, he didn’t.

Had he left it back in the capital?

‘Is that normal, though? You’re sent on an official mission and don’t wear your uniform?’

Had anyone ever seen a police officer patrolling in civilian clothes?

Or a café employee working without a uniform?

Exactly.

‘Especially a holy knight. That’s basically a soldier.’

The question bothered me briefly, but ultimately it didn’t matter.

The important thing was simply that there was no armor.

After pushing aside the pointless thoughts, I restored my life using dried meat—which I could finally eat without panicking—and set off.

My destination was the same place as before.

The tree where I’d confronted the weasel.

Before long—

“…It was here, right?”

Arriving at the location, I glanced once at the clear blue sky and once around the area before crouching beside the wall.

Then—

Tap.

Crumble.

Between the tightly stacked stones, I found the crack I’d noticed yesterday, partially hidden beneath dirt.

And then—

Slide.

I reached my hand inside.