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~Chapter 34~
“Does this mean I’ll never see Lily again?”
A carriage with the duchy’s cold sheen rolled through the night.
Inside, young Blake was crying.
He was on his way back after Lily’s parents told him never to approach her again.
Even Blake’s usually strict father didn’t tease him for crying this time.
“It seems so, son.”
“Why? We didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes we picked weeds, but it wasn’t even private land…”
“Cheer up! Sometimes hardship comes even when you haven’t done anything wrong!”
The duke had expected this would happen someday. He’d always let his son spend time with Lily, but this was the natural end.
“Not even for a little while?”
“It’ll be hard.”
From now on, Lily would be watched even more. She wouldn’t even have time to say hello.
The duke ruffled Blake’s hair.
“Listen, if you really like that girl, sometimes you have to know when to give up. You understand, right?”
“B-but… but…”
Blake cried harder. His father didn’t feel any better watching him.
“You’ll have to give up more things than most people. I’m sorry, son.”
The duke understood. He’d been a child once, too.
“Our Uffus clan never mixed with the pureblood imperial nobles. They always brag about their noble blood. People like us, who ran through snowy fields with wolves, are never respected by them. That’s how those people are.”
“Lily isn’t like that.”
“She was a good kid.”
“I hate nobles…”
“Yeah, they’re the bad guys.”
Trying to lighten the mood, the duke joked,
“How about this, son? Let’s cut off the Hedwick family’s money from all sides. Maybe then they’ll feel sorry for us! Ha!”
Blake almost liked the idea, but then shook his head.
“But then what happens to her?”
“The girl you like would starve too. Nobles won’t help even their own family unless they get something out of it.”
“Then we can’t do that.”
“I’d love to try, but if you say no, then fine.”
Blake buried his messy face in the carriage seat.
He decided—he would never give up again, no matter what.
He would become someone strong, who never had to kneel to anyone.
He wanted to see Lily…
Back in the present, Lily’s room was filled with the cold of early dawn.
Moonlight made the dust float visibly in the air. She’d spent all night alone, buried in bed.
“Ah…”
Lily saw the bowl of purée Gianna left. It was cold and stiff, no longer food.
‘I’ll have to throw it away secretly so Gianna doesn’t worry.’
She quietly left her room to toss it out. She felt cold, needed a shawl, but didn’t have the energy to go back. She just wanted to get rid of the bowl and return quickly.
She promised herself—she’d start eating again tomorrow.
So, for today, telling a little lie was okay.
She was tired from accepting everyone’s care—like an old clock whose hands barely moved.
But in the dim hallway, Blake was standing there.
He looked completely miserable. Like a defeated king or a rich man who’d lost everything.
He hadn’t slept and couldn’t even focus his eyes.
Lily glanced at him, then tried to walk past without emotion. When she was a little ways off, Blake spoke.
“Miss.”
In the quiet hallway, his rough voice echoed.
Lily’s blue eyes shook. Blake slowly followed her.
“I came because I want to talk.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Please, I beg you, give me just a few minutes. Please.”
She couldn’t dump the food while he was there.
Lily turned around. What did he want now?
To apologize?
Would it even mean anything? Even if they made up, she’d still have to trust him with no guarantees.
“Well then, I hope this will be a meaningful conversation.”
Blake felt relieved when she agreed.
This hallway wasn’t a good place, and he noticed Lily shivering. But he couldn’t bring himself to offer his coat.
So, he decided to be quick.
He forced himself to focus, then spoke in a rough voice.
“There’s a large burn scar on my left shoulder.”
It was completely out of nowhere. Not what Lily expected.
But Blake felt he had to tell this story.
“When I was a teenager, I went with my father to a noble’s antique auction in the capital.”
“?”
“Some boys from noble families my age invited me to hang out. I didn’t really have a reason to say no.”
Blake’s voice was distant, like remembering a bad dream.
“They took me away and knocked me out with a club.”
“I don’t see your point.”
“When I woke up, I was locked in an old shed in the woods. Do you know what those boys yelled from outside?”
Blake gave a wild, bitter smile.
Moonlight shone on his wrinkled shirt.
—You barbarian! How dare you come here? Go back to your filthy land!
—If you kneel and beg, we’ll let you out.
—Promise never to leave your barbarian land, or we’ll burn this place and cleanse your dirty blood with fire.
As Blake kept telling his story, Lily’s face twisted with pain. She was glad the dawn was still dark.
“I never knelt. I rammed the wall with all my strength. I heard it creak, maybe because termites had eaten it.”
“…”
“The boys, scared, really set the place on fire. The flames spread to my clothes.”
He could have begged for his life and maybe been spared…
But even as a teenager, Blake refused.
“The more the smoke filled up, the harder I rammed the wall. Well, you can see I survived. The wall broke and I escaped. That’s why I have this burn scar.”
Once free, he attacked the boys.
Most of them were only children, heirs to their families, but Blake’s retaliation left many of them with permanent injuries.
He went to trial but was saved by paying compensation. In a way, it was a fair trade.
“Anyway, that’s what happened.”
His voice was full of regret. Lily almost sympathized, but fought the feeling.
“It’s a sad story, but why are you telling me? If you wanted pity, you got it… Do you think I’ll forgive you just because you shared this?”
“If you feel sorry for me, that’s fine. But that’s not my point.”
“Then what is?”
“I’ve never once knelt. Not even in the face of death.”
“…So?”
“Never—not in any situation—have I begged for anything…”
Lily heard a dull sound. Blake knelt down on the cold, stone floor. Her chest hurt watching him.
“I’m sorry.”
His apology was real.
He never knew how to speak beautifully, not like other nobles. This was the most honest apology he could give.
He didn’t dare come any closer, afraid she’d pull away. He felt utterly powerless.
Why am I so helpless?
He felt more powerless than he ever did locked in that burning shed. He felt like he hadn’t grown at all.
“I’m sorry.”
“…”
“I’ll never act on my own again. I’ll discuss everything about you with you.”
He reached into his coat and held the locket necklace.
He felt something hot rising up inside him, and his eyes turned red.
“So please, just this once. Lily.”
He used the same gentle tone as when they were children, and pulled out the locket.
He set it softly on the ground, where the cold seeped into it.
“Just this once…”
He never mentioned how he hadn’t slept or how his work had fallen apart.
He just stared at the gray stone floor, mumbling over and over.
“Just once…”
Lily couldn’t believe it.
He was really crying. She always thought he was made of iron, too cold to shed tears.
She walked toward him, her attention on the necklace. She wondered what it was, and why Blake had it.
In the castle’s deep shadows, Lily picked up the locket.
