HEAD 28

~Chapter 28~

“Uh, um…”

When Blake suddenly stopped, Lily looked up in confusion. Their eyes met.

“Miss.”

His warm breath brushed her ear.

The cold air that smelled of clean snow filled her lungs.

His skin was hot and strong where they touched. Lily felt even more flustered.

“You don’t know the next dance move, do you?” she said, trying to lead him in the waltz. But no matter how she pushed, he didn’t move at all.

Inside, Blake was burning with emotion.

Damn, I want to press a kiss to her forehead right now.

But he knew if he did, Lily would probably get angry. Even if not, it wouldn’t end well.

“Miss, I…”

His rough, low whisper came from right above her.

For some reason, Lily shivered and blushed.

Her ankle boots slid back in the snow.

“Ah!”

Lily almost fell, but somehow stayed standing—Blake was holding her up, and it looked like he used no effort at all.

Now, Lily finally understood what he wanted.

But she’d never thought about feelings like this before.

Should she push him away?

Her mind spun in circles.

Did she even need to refuse?

Even as she thought, the warmth between their bodies kept growing.

The cold winter air seemed to disappear.

Now there was only the scent of their skin.

Finally, Blake lowered his head over her cloak’s collar. He was about to kiss her white neck, when—

Lily. Give me a goodbye kiss.

Suddenly, her ex-husband’s voice echoed in her mind.

Old memories crashed over her like a wave.

With Count Fox, she’d barely had any real closeness. Nothing could ever go further.

But every time he left for the palace, he always demanded a goodbye kiss.

Come on.

When Lily kissed his cheek, he would push his lukewarm lips toward her in return.

She had to close her eyes and endure it. It was a time of great pain—harder to bear than being hit by her parents as a child.

The seconds crawled by until finally the man’s big shape would leave.

Lily always wanted to push Count Fox away.

“Stop!”

Without thinking, Lily pushed Blake’s shoulder. She stumbled back, putting distance between them.

Suddenly all the heat blew away in the winter wind.

“Sorry, I’m sorry.”

Lily felt strangely empty, but mostly she was dazed.

“I just suddenly remembered my ex-husband… So, um, never mind. I mean… it’s time to go. My hands are cold because I didn’t wear gloves.”

“You can have my gloves.”

“They’d fit my head better than my hands!”

“You’re making jokes now?”

Lily hesitated, then ran toward Winter Castle as if she was escaping.

Just before, it felt warmer outside, but now everything was freezing cold. When did the sky get so cloudy?

It started to snow.

A snowflake landed on the brooch her maids had made for her.

“Then put them on your head!” Blake called after her desperately, but the distance grew.

He ended up chasing after her.

Lily didn’t want to get caught.

Her heart pounded fast inside her frilly shirt. She was embarrassed and confused.

She had never loved anyone in her life. She had no good memories about romance.

I can’t do this.

She wanted to shake off Count Fox’s memory.

If she stayed with Blake any longer, more memories would come.

She didn’t confuse Blake and her ex—they were opposites, really, almost completely different.

That made it even stranger.

What was love, anyway? Lily didn’t know.

First, there was the love of parents.

She knew that even if she died, her parents wouldn’t shed a tear. She felt the same way. They were always like strangers.

Second, love between friends.

She’d heard that close friends show their flaws without hiding. Was that even possible?

Her friends were always chosen by her parents. They were just for politics, so she always hid her faults.

Last was the love between a husband and wife.

That was the hardest to understand… Her ex-husband was always terrible. Even her warm heart would turn cold and scared whenever she saw him.

I don’t know. I don’t know anything.

She heard Blake running after her.

But she didn’t want to see his face right now.

Just then, she saw the stablemaster and a strong black horse in the distance. Dominic was enjoying a walk.

“Coco!”

At her call, Dominic lifted his head.

Dominic always liked Lily, but after having his own foal, he seemed to think of her as a co-parent.

“Coco, come here!”

At her words, Dominic snorted and tossed the stablemaster aside.

This horse was never the type to be caught by anyone.

Lily thought,

How can I get Dominic to hold Blake back?

She was so desperate that she used magic.

<Bite!>

The magic words turned into a picture in the horse’s mind.

Dominic answered with a big snort, then charged at Blake.

He bared his teeth, and Blake had no choice but to step back.

“You ungrateful beast!”

Dominic was the kind of horse who could bite an enemy’s arm off in battle.

Of course, he wouldn’t actually bite Blake that hard, but it was enough to tense up Blake’s muscles.

While the two struggled, Lily ran to her room.

“Don’t let anyone in,” she said to her maid Gianna, who pulled out every cleaning tool she could find.

Lily was confused again.

“Um, before you close the door, I want to know what you mean, Gianna…”

“I’ll clean so well, not even an ant could get in!”

She did say, “Don’t let anyone in,” after all.

“…Okay!”

Lily wanted to say she didn’t mean insects, but just went inside.

Even after using one magic word, her whole body felt exhausted.

She wiped her tired face.

“Haah.”

Using magic in daily life was something only a great magician would do. They’d end up in the history books someday.

Maybe a nap would help…

She had no plan to see Blake again, so she lay on the bed.

Lily had a dream.

It was a miserable nightmare.

She remembered her childhood, her father scolding her for being “too stupid to learn manners.” Her mother always cared more about meetings with doctors’ wives than about Lily.

Then, suddenly, she grew up and married Count Fox.

During the wedding under an old tree, guests came to greet her for social reasons. After the wedding, she entered his mansion…

Each memory made her feel sick.

She never wanted to remember anything about Count Fox.

After she woke up, Lily spent several days in a daze.

Why do I feel so uneasy?

The dance on the snow and the warm breath were already a distant mirage.

She felt strangely nervous. Like a prey animal sensing a predator nearby—even though her ex-husband was far away, she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Living with the strange Winter Castle people kept her busy, so she thought she could forget everything here—but that wasn’t true.

She realized she had to face all the things she’d been avoiding.

It was unavoidable. She couldn’t stay in winter forever. The seasons always changed.

But where could she go?

Did she have any option other than death?

“Miss.”

A few days after the dance, one evening…

Lily was sitting by the first-floor fireplace, drinking tea.

Blake carefully approached, hunching his big body.

“Are you having a good day?”

“Oh, yes. Gianna brought me a chair and blanket. And some chamomile tea.”

Lily kept her eyes on the fire. Her blue eyes, full of flames, looked unfocused.

“Hey…”

Blake sat across from her, watching her mood carefully.

He wanted to say that everyone at Winter Castle was worried about her, but he didn’t.

He didn’t want to add to her worries.

“…?”

Lily waited for him to say more, but when he said nothing, she turned back to the fire.

Blake didn’t know how to fix this at all. He sighed softly.