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Chapter 15
Rosha wondered how he had come here at this hour, to this place, but soon shook her head. It was his role to check on the Rosteliers who had scattered across different countries to observe and protect the candidates, so it was entirely up to him when and where he appeared. Still, the fact that Kasin had witnessed her scolding Joshua made her fingertips tremble slightly. He already always doubted her qualifications, and now he had seen such a pathetic side of her… There was no way to deny that she had been in the wrong, so Rosha felt ashamed and disgusted with herself.
“Move aside, Rosha Rostelier.”
“……”
“I need to protect the child from you.”
Rosha couldn’t bring herself to protest that it was unfair. Kasin’s actions—trying to protect the child from her—were justified.
As her agitation faded, shame rushed in.
Noah had clearly said that Babel might use tricks to confuse them, and yet she had lost her reason over something like this…
Thinking about it, while she had been visiting the Angel Orphanage, someone could have secretly slipped into this annex.
Rosha moved her trembling eyes to look at Joshua. Held in Kasin’s arms, Joshua was sniffling, holding back his tears. Unable to bear watching him any longer, Rosha left Joshua’s room.
Back in her own room, Rosha tried to find comfort by stroking Shadrach’s fur. As if sensing her bad mood, Shadrach wagged his tail, climbed onto her lap, and licked her hand. Rei sat beside her and rubbed his face against her arm.
Suddenly, Rosha recalled what she had said to Joshua earlier.
“You knew that when you touch animals while you’re depressed, there’s a high chance they’ll die. And yet you touched them to comfort yourself?”
“The animals came to me…”
“If you didn’t want to kill them, you should’ve just stayed in your room and not touched them.”
“Ah…”
“Do you feel a thrill… a sense of pleasure when you see life die?”
Why had she said something like that?
‘When I’m no different, finding comfort by stroking Shadrach’s fur.’
It wasn’t that she had tried to approach the child emotionally, but if she wanted to understand, she could have easily understood his situation.
A child practically abandoned alone in the annex. The only beings he could feel warmth from were animals…
Rosha felt like banging her head against the wall in self-loathing.
“I’ve gone crazy.”
“At least you seem to know it was crazy.”
At the familiar voice, Rosha raised her head. It seemed he had calmed Joshua down—Kasin was entering her room.
“Go on, make an excuse. I’ll at least listen.”
“I have nothing to say. I did lose my reason.”
Rosha hated losing even a single word to Kasin, but this time, she truly had nothing to say.
“Then instead of excuses, report on that child.”
“……”
“Including what just happened. In detail.”
She didn’t want to exchange even a word with Kasin, but this was work. She couldn’t avoid it.
“…I saw a demon. I woke up and it was right in front of me, and then it ran away and entered that child’s room.”
“Is that all?”
“No, besides that…”
Rosha explained everything that had happened so far. But the more she talked, the more it only proved that she had been overly sensitive.
The only thing that could suggest Joshua had summoned a demon was that the demon had entered his room. The pigeon Joshua had touched dying had nothing to do with this.
The logical conclusion was that from the moment she entered the count’s house and heard those stories, she had subconsciously regarded Joshua as part of evil.
Rosha couldn’t lift her head. This time, she couldn’t face Kasin.
“I knew you were emotional. That’s why I opposed sending you on this mission.”
“……”
“I can already guess. As soon as you arrived, you went to the orphanage to look for your family, didn’t you? Noah probably had an idea too and chose to overlook it.”
“I get it, so shut up!”
From a purely rational standpoint, leaving Joshua’s side even for a moment had been Rosha’s fault. She shouldn’t have left him alone on the very first day.
But the only reason Rosha had joined the Golden Dawn Society was to find her younger sibling. Killing demons and eliminating Babel was revenge for her family, and that was important too. But finding Lily mattered even more. She didn’t want to be mocked by Kasin, who was convinced his own sibling was dead, just because she had prioritized hers.
In the end, Rosha said something she shouldn’t have, out of anger.
“You wouldn’t understand how I feel since your whole family is dead!”
She had brought up Kasin’s family.
They both roughly knew each other’s circumstances through rumors. Kasin, who had been an orphan living with his twin brother, had lost his sibling in an incident directly involving Babel, and that was the day he awakened.
The moment the words left her mouth, Rosha regretted it.
No matter what, she knew she shouldn’t touch someone’s family. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to apologize to Kasin.
An awkward silence passed.
“No.”
Unexpectedly, Kasin spoke first.
“My sibling is alive.”
“What?”
“To be precise, it’s hard to say whether they’re alive or dead.”
“What do you mean?”
“…Rosha Rostelier.”
“……”
“How much do you love your sibling?”
She was curious about what he meant, but since he didn’t seem willing to explain, she chose not to ask.
Instead, Rosha answered his question without hesitation.
“Enough to stake my entire life.”
But the response she got was cold.
“That’s your arrogance.”
Kasin scoffed.
“Family is precious. Especially when your survival is threatened by demons or when you’re forcibly separated—it’s natural to feel attached.”
“……”
“But that attachment makes people mistaken. It makes them think they can devote their entire lives.”
“……”
“But that’s not true, Rosha Rostelier.”
“……”
“Don’t get intoxicated by your own devotion and fail at what matters most.”
Rosha’s clenched fists trembled with anger.
Kasin, if you can’t understand me even though you had a family you cherished, then you must just be a cold-blooded person without emotions.
She wanted to argue back, but her awareness of her mistake outweighed her pride.
Trying to calm her trembling body so she wouldn’t repeat her earlier mistake, Rosha simply listened to Kasin’s words, which were framed as advice but felt like insults.
“Noah said it, didn’t he? That Babel would disguise even a child of God as a child of evil to confuse us.”
“So you’re saying that child is a child of God?”
Kasin shook his head.
“He could just be an ordinary child, or… a real child of evil. Whatever he is, until the truth is confirmed, you need to stay centered and watch over him.”
“……”
“I’ll report today’s incident to Noah as it is. You can look for your sibling, but don’t take your eyes off that child.”
Kasin left a final warning.
“If you fail this mission, the Golden Dawn Society won’t be able to help you find your sibling.”
That was the end. By the time Rosha raised her head again, Kasin had disappeared without a trace.
Alone in the room except for the wolf cub Shadrach, Rosha’s legs gave out and she collapsed onto the bed.
It was a suffocating and lonely night, too heavy to endure alone.
Knock, knock—
Early in the morning, Rosha carefully knocked on Joshua’s door.
It had taken her a very long time to build up the courage to knock. Even though she knew she had been wrong, her pride made it difficult for her to apologize easily. The Rostelier siblings had always found this stubborn young magic knight endearing, so most people had simply given in to her.
But this time, the one she had wronged was a ten-year-old child, five years younger than her. And regardless of right or wrong, if she didn’t resolve things with him, she wouldn’t be able to continue the mission.
“Joshua, it’s me.”
Standing close to the door, Rosha called his name cautiously.
“Are you awake?”
There was no reply, but she was certain he was.
“I’m coming in.”
Without permission, Rosha opened the door. As expected, Joshua was awake. Still frightened, he was wrapped in his blanket, avoiding her gaze with tearful eyes.
‘Damn it.’
If she couldn’t ease that boy’s heart, she wouldn’t be able to stay by his side, observe him, or counsel him. Then she would be removed from the mission, and finding Lily might be left to someone else.
For Lily’s sake, she had to resolve things with him.
“Joshua—”
Rosha forced an awkwardly gentle tone and slowly approached. When she reached the bedside, she bent her knees and looked up at the boy.
“I surprised you by coming in so suddenly, didn’t I?”
It was her first time using such a soft tone, so the end of her voice trembled, but Rosha tried to act like a perfect adult who had never once gotten angry, recalling how Noah had treated her.
“You know, Joshua.”
“……”
“About yesterday, I’m so—”
“You don’t have to force yourself to apologize.”
Rosha was cut off mid-sentence and looked up at him with slight displeasure, though she still wore an awkward smile.
“You’re not sorry to me.”
The boy, who had been friendly to her from their first meeting, now glared at Rosha with a hurt expression.
