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Chapter 32
“Ell, come here.”
At Caron’s voice, Ell was drawn to him as if bewitched. But her steps stopped a little farther away than usual.
Caron’s expression darkened, cold and sharp, before he strode forward and swiftly scooped her into his arms.
“…Lord Caron?”
“Don’t call me that. I’m angry. If you call my name, it might ease my anger.”
“Caron… Lord Caron…”
Her tension finally eased, and Ell clung desperately to him, calling his name over and over as though he were her only lifeline.
Caron let out a hollow breath, his expression unreadable—half like a smile, half like suppressed rage.
“You won’t even let me stay angry.”
As he started toward the mouth of the alley, his steps halted briefly. Then he turned back toward the fallen men, pulling Ell’s dagger from a man’s shoulder.
“Urgh! P-please….”
“You think I’d let you live after you saw me?”
Caron’s words came out icy, and without a moment’s hesitation, he swung his sword. By the time he carried Ell out of the alley, the men were already lifeless.
The first thing Ell saw when they stepped out was Rick. He was anxiously kicking at the ground in front of the alley, but when he lifted his head and met Ell’s eyes, his face lit up with relief.
“Big sis, thank you! You’re an angel!”
“No, Rick. If you hadn’t trusted me, neither of us would’ve made it out safe. You did well.”
Ell reached out and gently patted his head.
“Will we be able to meet again?”
“Of course.”
“We can talk more later.”
Caron cut the conversation short, shifting Ell more securely in his arms. Only then did she notice his expression.
“…Are you angry?”
“How could I be angry? You were trying to save your past self.”
“….”
He was right. Ell had seen her younger self reflected in Rick. That was why she had wanted to save him—even if it meant she would endure horrible pain again.
When they reached the carriage, Caron set her down lightly.
“W-what about the food distribution?”
His dark gaze passed over her indifferently and settled on the knights.
“Return to the estate. We’re withdrawing.”
“N-no! There are still so many villages left to visit!”
Startled, Ell clutched his sleeve in desperation.
But Caron’s eyes were cold and unyielding.
“You were hurt.”
“I’m fine. At least we saved him.”
“You are not fine.”
Ell couldn’t understand his reaction. Caron was someone who valued his house above all else—someone who would pour out everything he had for its sake. To him, usefulness and efficiency were paramount.
And yet his response now was anything but efficient.
If the child had screamed and the men’s actions had been exposed, the food distribution would have turned into chaos. If the knights had been warned in advance, their violence in subduing the men would have been seen by the villagers.
The way she had handled it had been the best possible outcome. So why was Caron angry?
“But… the important event wasn’t canceled. This was the best way.”
“It was useless. We’re returning.”
His words stabbed like a dagger. Ell lowered her head, not wanting him to see her on the verge of tears.
Caron simply stared at her in silence, then closed the carriage door.
When she looked up in surprise, she was already alone inside.
“….”
Peering out the window, she saw Caron mounting his black horse.
“He’s really angry… what do I do?”
Biting her lip anxiously, Ell felt her heart sink. The distribution and supply sharing were nearly finished, but the upcoming inspections were now canceled. Surely, there were other villages that still needed Caron’s help.
“….”
She gripped her head tightly in frustration. How many more children like Rick might be in the next village?
By trying to save her own past, she had ruined countless Ricks’ chances.
Though it was Caron who had given the order to return, Ell was suffocated by guilt, blaming herself until she could hardly breathe.
She was useless. Completely.
“Haha…”
Collapsing, she buried her face between her knees.
Before the noble Caron Fayros, she was far too small and worthless.
The carriage sped relentlessly toward the estate. By the time Ell woke from a troubled sleep, they had already arrived at its gates.
“…?”
The door opened, and Caron appeared.
“What are you doing on the floor?”
“Oh—I must’ve dozed off.”
“Get down.”
He spoke like a command, pulling her into his arms. As if she were nothing more than luggage, he carried her swiftly into the mansion.
“Welcome back, my lady!”
Ena, rushing to greet them, gasped in shock and ran to Ell’s side.
“Out of the way. Fetch the physician.”
“Yes!”
As she ran off, Ena glanced nervously back at Caron. He looked more dangerous than ever—like a man ready to tear someone apart with his bare hands.
With Ena gone, Caron carried Ell straight into the bath. Startled maids hurried to prepare what was needed.
“Leave us.”
At his order, they exchanged uneasy looks but quickly filed out.
Caron carefully set Ell on the edge of the tub.
“Is it too hot?”
“I can do this myself.”
“You’re terrible at taking care of your wounds.”
“….”
“Or do you plan to keep avoiding me forever after one kiss?”
“No…”
Ell surrendered, letting him take over. Rolling up his sleeves, Caron began washing her legs gently. Scrapes and bruises covered her skin.
“Why are you…”
“Wondering why I’m kneeling here, tending to you?”
“Yes.”
“Because I thought your pride wouldn’t allow anyone else to see you like this.”
“…My pride?”
The word felt strange to Ell. She knew its dictionary meaning, but she had never considered her own pride, character, or values. She’d never had the luxury.
“You seemed eager to leave a good impression on the others. If they had attended you, they would’ve seen these wounds.”
“….”
“And somehow, I don’t think you would have wanted that.”
She couldn’t deny it—he was completely right. She had hoped Ena and the others wouldn’t notice, planning instead to make some excuse about tripping over her skirt.
Caron scowled, fumbling clumsily with the ribbons of her dress.
“Damn it. I’ve never undressed someone before.”
“…You haven’t?”
“Ell, what exactly do you think of me?”
He gave a wry laugh.
Of course—she had assumed that, since he handled her body without hesitation, he must be accustomed to women.
Caron, however, tended to her with surprising skill, washing her and treating each wound as though he had done this countless times.
“Lord Caron, may I ask you something?”
“Don’t ask for permission—just ask.”
He spoke calmly as he bandaged her, as if his earlier anger had vanished.
“Where did you learn this? Taking care of someone’s injuries like this?”
“You mean, how to wash a woman’s body?”
He teased lightly as he pulled away another layer of her dress. Thankfully, she still wore a plain white slip underneath.
“…You really are too cruel to me sometimes.”
She muttered, avoiding his eyes.
“Hah. Your reactions are just too amusing. Most nobles have no idea how to treat wounds.”
“…Then?”
“I’ve spent so long on battlefields. Crossed countless lines between life and death.”
“….”
“You want to hear it, don’t you? The wretched stories.”
“…Honestly, a little.”
The words slipped out before Ell realized her mistake.
She had heard how knights returned from war broken—madmen discarded even by their families. Some even wandered into the slums where Ell had grown up.
“It’s nothing much. Just as my reputation says, I took countless lives. And I nearly lost my own.”
“….”
Her heart sank. She had dragged his horrible past into the light with her careless question.
Lowering her head in guilt, she was surprised when Caron gently turned her around, examining the wounds on her back.
“Behind me were brothers plotting my death and an imperial court wary of my rising glory. Before me were enemies trying to cut me down. To survive, I did anything—without hesitation.”
“….”
“It wasn’t a very noble life.”
His voice carried a faint trace of self-mockery.
Listening, Ell thought—perhaps foolishly—that maybe they could understand each other.
“Maybe you are… the past version of myself that I wanted to save. Just as you saved that boy.”
Caron spoke casually, but Ell noticed the tremor in his fingertips against her back.
He hadn’t yet escaped his past. He still carried that pain.
“You did save him.”
“….”
“You saved him, Lord Caron.”
It was the clumsiest, yet most genuine comfort she could give.
To be continued…
