🔊 TTS Settings
Chapter 7
By evening, my stomach felt uneasy. After spending the afternoon attending to a patient with a broken arm and torn calf, and dealing with Maranelli’s unusual fussiness about meals—which I usually didn’t have to—I found myself lingering in the clinic. I rinsed my mouth with cold water, deliberately pushing the thought of digestive medicine far away. Ever since the accident two years ago, my organs had weakened considerably, so I had to avoid medication whenever possible.
When the mild pain in my lower abdomen started, I paused from reviewing the research notes on the reagent I had just finished preparing and rubbed my stomach. It felt stiff, tense, as if my lower abdomen had hardened.
I had been wondering for the past few days why my body was acting like this and had even consulted my fellow doctors. Almost all of their conclusions—and my own—were astonishingly consistent: pregnancy. Even I had reluctantly arrived at that conclusion. And if all the symptoms truly indicated pregnancy, that meant the only plausible explanation for how it happened involved drinking or experimenting and accidentally inhaling smoke, leading to losing my mind and being with a man. My first experience… with no memory of it! If I at least had a record of my menstrual cycle, I might have been able to figure something out—but unfortunately, my cycle was extremely irregular. My last period had been nearly two months ago.
I lifted my shirt slightly to look at my stomach. In the lamplight, my skin glowed reddish and pale, soft-looking because I hadn’t exercised much. Lately, I had indulged in a lot of food cravings, but normally I didn’t eat regularly, so I had almost no belly fat. Except for a little padding along my sides, my stomach was flat; nothing protruded. Because I had cracked the window open a little, the wind brushed against my bare skin, making me shiver, and I quickly lowered my shirt again. My chest, which I was proud of, was naturally somewhat large, so it was impossible to tell if it had grown recently or not.
Anyway, no matter how I looked at it, the nausea, mood swings, and stomach aches were all clear signs of pregnancy. Of course, I was too scared to confirm it with a proper test, so I had only noted the symptoms. When I thought about it, if I really was pregnant, that meant I had been with a man. Besides Raiden, who else could possibly have been with me? …Raiden! Raiden!
“Ugh…”
I pressed my forehead against the desk and groaned. No, it couldn’t have been Raiden. Realistically, the only man who could have been involved was Raiden, but if it had actually happened, I would already have been dragged into the family, stripped of the Hale name, and preparing to adopt the Rensher surname instead of Gingerbell. By now, Lady Countess Rensher and Madam Annen would have been excitedly designing at least thirty wedding dresses.
“Alright. First, let’s just check.”
It had been three weeks and three days since the nausea started. I had been avoiding confirming it, unwilling to face the conclusion, but finally I resolved to do the test.
Before my mind changed again, I retrieved the device and medicine I had tucked in a corner of the room. I had secretly prepared it so I could check without anyone noticing if I really was pregnant. It was disposable, but in a rural hospital that couldn’t afford expensive magical diagnostic devices, it was actually used as a legitimate medical product, so the results could be trusted.
I took a deep breath, swallowed the pale pink potion in one go, and ten minutes later went to the bathroom. The result was…
…pregnant. Damn it.
I went to work late in the afternoon, my face so haggard that students and professors asked if I was okay. I politely said I was fine, though I wasn’t at all. After repeating the test three more times, each confirming my pregnancy, I spent the night awake. The burning question was: who’s the father? Based on the timing of my last period, some inconsistencies existed, but unless all three devices were faulty, I was undeniably pregnant. And the symptoms made it clear.
I stayed up all night pondering the father, but aside from the forum two months ago where I had nearly collapsed in the wilds, every day that could have been problematic involved Raiden. Whether from his sense of responsibility stemming from guilt toward me, requests from his brothers, or his usual behavior, he accompanied me when I stayed late for work or during company dinners, and even on days when experiments kept me late, he was there. I had never done any experiments that could cloud my mind, and even if I had somehow lost control, the odds were high the father would have been a student from Amort, which would have spread rumors at school immediately.
“Really, it could only be Raiden.”
“What did I do?”
When truly shocked, I couldn’t even make a sound. I clutched my chest near my ribs. Raiden, who had silently appeared, tilted his head, examining my face carefully.
“Why do you look like that? You look awful.”
I pushed Raiden back slightly and steadied my breath. Having the person I was thinking about appear before me made my heart race and my breathing shaky. No, rather, my breathing was shaky and my heart was racing.
Raiden, concern on his face, noted how pale I looked and placed the apple juice I’d wanted yesterday on the desk. I stared at the glass bottle, nervously nibbling my lips, then quietly spoke. It was something I had to say; I couldn’t delay any longer.
“…Don’t misunderstand me. Listen.”
“What is it?”
“…Did you, um… ever, well… have any… intimate contact with me?”
Raiden’s expression twisted strangely.
“I mean, like, touching lower parts, or… being carried away by the moment and, you know… sleeping with me?”
I lowered my gaze after saying that.
“So… you had sex with me?”
Raiden didn’t answer. He just stared at me with a serious face. At first, I met his red eyes to gauge his reaction, but over time, I felt uneasy and lowered my eyes. Raiden, sitting across from me and just watching, moved closer. His body wasn’t the bulky figure you’d imagine from a knight, but he was bigger and solid compared to me. I instinctively leaned back, the chair scraping the desk.
“Me, with you?”
“…Could you move back a little? It’s a bit suffocating.”
That was all I could say. Raiden paused silently, then calmly stepped back and sat.
“Why would you think that? Something made you suspect?”
Earlier, he hadn’t seemed like the Raiden I knew. His voice, low and strained at first, had returned to normal.
“Well, no matter how I think about it, the only man who could have been with me is you.”
“Really?”
“You always accompanied me when I got home late. And… you came to pick me up during dinners too. …You were asked by your brothers, weren’t you? I feel bad for the trouble.”
“That’s part of it. Anyway… so? Why did you suddenly think about who could have been with you?”
Raiden wanted to hear what I was hiding. I hesitated, then looked at his clenched fist and began.
“I’ve been feeling off lately. My stamina fluctuated, my food fussiness was similar to morning sickness. So I finally tested yesterday.”
Pausing for a moment, I delivered the verdict in a trembling voice.
“I’m pregnant.”
Once I said it, continuing was easier.
“I tested three times. It’s a product used in hospitals too, so it’s reliable.”
Raiden stayed silent for a while, then ran his hand through his hair and exhaled deeply.
“Are you sure it wasn’t anyone else?”
“Absolutely not. You know I only went to school and home.”
“What about that forum you went to?”
“No, definitely not.”
The only suspicious day was when I stayed up for three nights doing research and then came home with Raiden’s help, sleeping for two days straight.
“Really, no one else. I couldn’t have gotten pregnant by myself. And… and…”
I recalled a dream I had before the nausea began. It was embarrassing even to speak of.
“I had a strange dream. In it, you said I was responsible.”
“Responsible for what?”
“You were pregnant, and I was supposed to be the father.”
“…What?”
Raiden looked utterly bewildered. I, feeling awkward, twirled my hair and tapped my thigh with my glasses.
“Anyway, my routine and that dream… it made me think only of you.”
I cleared my throat several times to ease the tension. Raiden lowered his head, seemingly deep in thought, then looked up at me.
“When’s the due date?”
“That’s the strange part. I’m just over three months pregnant. So it definitely wasn’t the day of the forum. But the devices said the due date was five months from now, and also ten months from now.”
It was such an impossible result that I tested four more times. Each time gave the same answer. At dawn, I left work preparations aside, took a half-day off, bundled myself up, and went to the hospital. Their professional magical devices also predicted the due date as five months and ten months later. When they suggested calling a magician because of a device malfunction, I refused and left quickly. That’s why I could think of no one else but Raiden. The results were extraordinary, almost suggesting something “transcendent.”
“So you were sure it wasn’t anyone else? Even a transcendent being is still human, though.”
I let out an awkward laugh at his words, as if he had read my thoughts. Raiden roughly ran his hand through his hair and sighed shortly.
“No one else knows, right?”
“You’re the first I told. Other teachers might suspect.”
That worried me. Raiden had helped me with meals during morning sickness, and I had asked about symptoms before.
“Do you want to tell your family?”
“What?”
“About the pregnancy. You’re going to have the baby.”
Of course, I was going to, but I didn’t want to tell my family. That would mean giving up the new life I had built as Eeli Hale, returning to Eeli Gingerbell, and enduring unbearable pressure. Judging from Raiden’s reaction, he wasn’t the father either. If so, I’d be an unwed mother, Eeli Gingerbell, forced to live under scrutiny from my family until I died. I nervously bit my lips. I didn’t want to live like that. I had escaped once already.
“Do you want to remain Eeli Hale?”
“I know I’ll eventually return. I just want to delay it as much as possible. I like being Eeli Hale.”
Raiden smiled at my firm reply.
“Then stay Eeli Hale. I’ll help. Whether the due date is five or ten months, even five months into pregnancy, your belly will show. Even if you try to hide it, there’s a chance it’ll be noticed. Think of it as taking a long leave early. Don’t worry about finding a new job or the baby. I’ll handle Gingerbell’s family.”
My eyes welled up, and my nose stung. I rubbed my eyes roughly with the back of my hand.
“Thank you.”
“Even if they notice early, the worst-case scenario will only be Eeli Rensher.”
Though he was teasing, I appreciated the words. Overcome with emotion, I hugged Raiden tightly. After staying up all night and worrying for half a day, he made everything seem manageable. Of course, not everything was solved yet, but Raiden was still on my side.
Raiden held me as I went limp, patting my back. I pressed my face against his strong, reliable shoulder and muttered,
“I want cheesecake.”
