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Chapter 02
Was he telling her to hurry up and die, or to come back alive? Yeon-woo furrowed her brow at the man’s ambiguous words.
“Are you scared?”
“What does it matter to you.”
With her steps interrupted by this unwelcome stranger, Yeon-woo muttered under her breath and tried to move forward again.
“Want me to go all the way in with you?”
“……”
In the end, Yeon-woo couldn’t completely ignore him and turned around. His face curved into a sly smile, but it looked predatory, like a leopard. His hair was damp from the sleet, clinging over his forehead, but it did nothing to hide the languid sharpness in his eyes.
“Hey.”
“……”
“If you’re gonna die, go somewhere else to do it.”
“Don’t people usually say, ‘Don’t die’?”
“Not my problem.”
He spoke of her death like it was nothing—just something unpleasant to look at. Yeon-woo’s glare sharpened. She didn’t want to live a life that got pushed all the way out here either.
Her strength gave way for a moment.
Who was she even explaining herself to right now?
Talking to this man wasn’t going to change anything about her life. Maybe he was right—maybe it would be better to just hurry up and dive in.
Bitter emptiness welled up in her chest, but she swallowed it down and spat out:
“Get lost.”
Her voice cracked sharp and rough, bursting out of her throat like suppressed rage.
They said if you hated the temple, the monk should leave.
At the very least, she wanted this sea—this one place—to be somewhere she could lie down in peace. But here he was, barging in and ruining it.
And yet, the man didn’t back down.
“Where should I get lost to?”
“……”
“I asked where.”
His calm, lazy tone grated on her nerves.
Who asked him to talk to her? Who asked him to look at her?
She knew it wasn’t worth answering, but anger kept rising in her throat anyway.
“Do I really… have to tell you that? Just go wherever the hell you want….”
And since when did he think he could talk down to her?
Everything about him rubbed her wrong.
Throwing stones at someone about to die, acting so calm and leisurely when her own heart felt ready to explode.
And when she realized he could never understand what it was like to crawl through life at the bottom the way she did, frustration surged and battered her pride like waves.
“You should’ve just ignored me and kept walking.”
“……”
“Now that you’re really about to croak, you’re scared, huh?”
The man saw right through her. With a few words, he hit her where it hurt and provoked her.
“……”
Scared? Of course she was. The crashing waves, the bone-piercing cold, the suffocating dark—all of it terrified her.
She wasn’t choosing death because she wanted it. She was choosing it because life had become unbearable. The lesser evil was still evil—it was never something good.
“Don’t make me laugh.”
Her pale face twisted in anger. Even now, her body staggered under the waves, her feet straining desperately to keep her from falling in.
Her reason told her she had to die, but every muscle in her body screamed for life.
“Who says I’m scared?”
She ground her teeth as she spoke. If she admitted she was afraid, she really might run away from this sea.
Even if it was pride no one else would ever recognize.
“Then go ahead.”
“……”
“Die, then.”
What, think you can’t?
His words stung her pride, and Yeon-woo started forcing her way deeper into the water again. Now it wasn’t death or fear driving her—it was pure stubborn pride pushing her forward.
Until suddenly, she stopped.
“Ah….”
Something sharp stabbed into her sole, spreading a hot burst of pain.
It hurt.
If even this hurt so much, how much worse would it be to suffocate?
Her breathing quickened. Blood seeped from her foot, and with it the fear she had been holding down began to seep out too.
I’m scared.
Her truest feelings, buried in the deepest part of her heart, burst out. Her stiff shoulders trembled violently.
Her eyes stung. Tears pooled under her wide eyes, falling down her cheeks one after another. The winter wind scraped past her wet face, battering her heart even harder.
“I… I can’t do it.”
“What do you know about me, to say all that….”
Yeon-woo muttered through clenched teeth, unable to rein in her temper.
It had taken so much courage just to come this far. She was so desperate.
How could she just stop now?
“You’re just throwing a tantrum, that’s all.”
She hated to admit it, but the man had a way of keeping her from dying. If he had thrown himself in after her, pleading with her not to, she might have gone deeper out of defiance.
“What are you doing.”
From the moment she first heard his voice, Yeon-woo’s nape had prickled with unease. She didn’t want to become like a stone, sinking out of sight forever.
“You think I’m doing this ‘cause I want to die?”
Her voice cracked with tears. The anger she had bottled up mixed with grief, pouring out thick and heavy, crushing her crumbling spirit.
“You think… hhic… anyone actually wants to die…?”
“……”
“I… I tried so hard to live!”
Tears streamed down her rough cheeks. Soon she was sobbing openly, her mouth twisting into wails. The salty smell of her tears filled the air.
At her mother’s funeral, not a single tear had fallen. But now, they spilled uncontrollably.
“Hey.”
“Hhh—hic.”
The wind swept across her wet cheeks again and again. The pounding waves battered her body. She couldn’t hold out anymore. Her vision blurred, and the cold and fear clouded her mind.
“That’s enough. Get out.”
At some point, the man was right behind her. Watching her stumble, he clicked his tongue. His eyes narrowed irritably.
“What a mess.”
Yeon-woo was helpless in his grasp.
“Why….”
“What?”
“Why don’t you just let me die?”
Why had he come all the way in after her?
After screaming herself hoarse, that fundamental question drilled into her mind. Even in the shadows cast by his short hair, she could see his face clearly.
Like a stray dog.
A face that looked like it wouldn’t take anyone’s words easily—and yet carried a shadow of darkness all the same.
“Pay for my pants cleaning. Oh, and candy money too.”
“……I asked you a question.”
“To me, someone trying to croak doesn’t count as a person.”
So come out—if you want to be treated like one.
He didn’t even need to finish the sentence. She understood.
“Ah! Hhh.”
When he yanked her arm, the shard in her sole drove in deeper. A ripping pain shot up her leg. Her lips turned blue as a whimper slipped out. The man’s brows furrowed tightly.
“……!”
Glancing down, he kept his face impassive as he scooped Yeon-woo into his arms in one smooth motion. Blood welled from her torn foot, and he muttered in a tone that couldn’t quite hide his annoyance:
“You’ll have to pay me back for this T-shirt too.”
I don’t even have money.
Yeon-woo pressed her lips shut in silence.
Her skin was frozen stiff, but his body radiated heat. As he carried her, stumbling out of the water, she stole her first glance at his face.
She wanted to ask again—why are you saving me?—but swallowed the words.
Even in the icy cold, her heart was pounding hard, alive.
Once outside the water, the recklessness of what she had just done hit her all at once. Her face pale, Yeon-woo trembled violently. Her eyelids grew heavy.
The man, watching her, sighed and picked up a black padded jacket he’d tossed aside. He draped it over her shoulders.
“Don’t sleep. If you do, you’ll really die.”
“……What, are you gonna… make me pay for the jacket too…?”
