EDPEN 25

Chapter 25

When the dean was still flustered, the teaching assistant looked at Ruin in shock.

“Good heavens, Professor! What happened to you?!”

And it was no wonder. His appearance as he came into the TA office was a complete mess. His neatly tailored suit was disheveled, and leaves were stuck all over his clothes.

“Did you get into some kind of accident?!”

No. It’s just that I ran a one-hour distance in five minutes.

Ruin let out a sigh as he took off his coat and hat.

‘To think I’d end up swallowing trash like this.’

In other words, Ruin had overslept again. So he’d run to Haven like a madman. His own professor’s office was still being cleaned, which was why he was commuting back and forth for the time being.

But even so—

‘This time I set ten alarms.’

It was useless. When he woke up with his hair sticking up like a bird’s nest, the sun was already high in the sky, and the wind-up clocks had all been reduced to wreckage, failing to greet Ruin.

And that wasn’t all.

Judging by the pain in his forehead, it seemed that once again his “incomprehensible genius” had activated, causing him to smash his head and pass out.

As a result, someone who had never once in his life experienced being late, oversleeping, or laziness felt utterly defeated.

‘A genius who feels stress from a wake-up alarm.’

As if asking why even after swallowing someone he’d ended up with this, Ruin braced himself against the wall.

In truth, he rarely swallowed people. Swallowing a person—“predation”—had the advantage of letting him continuously draw on the swallowed person’s abilities, but it also meant absorbing their strange traits.

For example, if he swallowed someone with kleptomania or homicidal tendencies, those traits transferred over 그대로.

Even worse, if the target was already a corpse, those traits didn’t disappear either. Like a stubborn corpse stench that wouldn’t wash away.

But he had no choice but to swallow Wayne. If he’d left the body as it was, it would’ve been discovered, and he wouldn’t have been able to impersonate Wayne.

‘And it didn’t feel right to just leave him there.’

Anyway, given his appearance and all, he’d wondered why a genius so brilliant that even heroes would weep was being treated like this—

‘…Laziness crushed even talent.’

True to the trait’s nature, he couldn’t even make proper use of the abilities he possessed….

「Even so, with your traits, shouldn’t you have been able to suppress it?」

Yeah. I knew you’d say that.

Why?

【Noble Selective Eating】
I pick and eat only what’s good for my body. Applies to everything.

【Inhuman Absolute Diligence】
A vicious, absolute diligence. Grants the will of an iron man: patience, kindness, humility, purity, temperance, and more.

Those were Ruin’s traits.

Up until now, the Firefly had survived with just these two traits. Even if something strange slipped in, he suppressed it all. So he’d thought it would be fine this time too.

「Pfft! Diligence lost to laziness. How is it? Sweet, isn’t it, the temptations of the mortal world?」

‘Be quiet. I’m just slow to adapt this time.’

To be swayed by the traits of someone he’d swallowed—he had the pride of the Shadow King, you know.

Meanwhile, Liri, who was taking Ruin’s coat and hanging it up, looked utterly baffled.

“Professor, didn’t you say you’d be commuting from Professor Charlie’s dorm room, not your own residence?”

“…….”

At that, Ruin’s temples bulged even more as he silently simmered.

Yeah, I did say that!

I did, but—

‘That bastard Charlie… completely useless.’

He’d gone in high spirits to take over Charlie’s room, only to find it was the worst one in the research building.

To reach the underground vault, the “tunneling” operation was essential, but Charlie’s room was right next to the security facilities—too many eyes—and it was in the opposite direction from the vault.

The reason the “tunneling” operation was necessary was fairly simple.

Ruin had entered the professors’ research building and headed into the secret passage leading underground, but—

“?”

Some kind of otherworldly space had appeared underground. In other words, why was there a Hero Memorial Hall down there…? What? A Hero Memorial Hall?

Looking around in disbelief, Ruin let out a rare scream.

“What the hell is this?!”

「Illegal expansion.」

There had been a path underground, but it had been blocked off by a newly constructed room.

And of all things, it was a Hero Memorial Hall!

So he’d asked the security team why something like that was in the basement, and the guard had replied with a bright smile.

“Oh, that? The chairman had it built.”

Why? To make the property owner lose his mind?

“There was a suspicious labyrinth under Haven. Of course, the hero wanted to explore it, but it was full of mazes and seemed dangerous for students and professors, so it was sealed off. It’d be a problem if enemies invaded through the underground, wouldn’t it? So it was turned into a memorial hall and self-study room for the students.”

All Ruin could do was clutch his head.

Could it be that all underground labyrinths had been dealt with like this?

‘Then I can’t get to the vault!’

「As expected of the Firefly of ‘misfortune.’ So unlucky.」

The Ginseng Executive clicked his tongue.

In truth, the Seed was strong enough to be called a god of misfortune, but his luck itself couldn’t exactly be called good. Honestly, he was unlucky—but he bulldozed through everything with sheer skill.

「No—could it be that the hero’s luck stat is just too high? It interfered with the Firefly’s plans.」

But the Firefly wasn’t about to be cowed by some memorial hall.

‘In that case, there’s no helping it.’

「Oh? You’ll reveal your identity to the hero and negotiate?」

‘I’ll dig a tunnel.’

「…….」

The Firefly… going so far as to dig a tunnel…?

Has he fallen that far…?

But Ruin’s eyes gleamed as if this was actually good news.

‘While I’m at it, I’ll trigger some traps and screw them over.’

「…Didn’t you say you were retiring?」

Of course, there was one problem—

‘Tch… To dig a tunnel, I’ll need to find another base.’

So first, he reported it to the room’s owner. It was a habit from his days as a low-ranking employee.

“Your room’s complete garbage, so I’ve decided not to use it.”

“What?!”

When Ruins left after saying only that, Charlie—who’d thought Ruin had come to visit him in the infirmary—looked strangely resentful, but who cared?

‘What matters is that I got something out of Charlie.’

「The items you stole from his room?」

‘No.’

Ruin asked Charlie:

“How about the room of that healing department and defense department professor you came with? Is it usable? Unlike you, it reeked of wealth.”

Grinding his teeth at that, Charlie suddenly grinned, as if something had occurred to him. Then he led Ruin to the healing professor’s lab.

Normally, it was a place you couldn’t easily enter due to heavy territorialism among professors, but Charlie must’ve been pissed enough to drag him along.

“I’ll have a word with the healing professor. I’ll tell her that Professor Wayne has his eye on this place!”

Charlie seemed to be trying to start a fight with the healing professor, but thanks to that, Ruin was actually grateful—he got to check the interior layout.

‘Good. This is the closest to the vault.’

In terms of position, it was directly above it. There was no bizarre Hero Memorial Hall or anything like that. On top of that, the tunneling operation was possible. Normally, it’d be hard to pull off, but this place was different.

‘Because of the professor’s territorialism, no one uses it outside of class hours. Perfect.’

So he asked the TA whether he should beat up the healing professor and take the lecture hall.

“Professors can’t take other professors’ labs through duels!”

…Damn it.

So it wasn’t possible?!

“If it were, the head professor’s office would be flooded with duel requests every day and they wouldn’t be able to teach!”

That was true.

So when he asked the TA if there was any other way, she said something unexpected.

“If your class becomes popular enough that you really need that lecture hall, it could work. But it probably won’t. The healing professor who owns that hall is very popular and very proud, and that lecture hall is reserved for the department head… so she probably won’t give it up easily.”

Give it up? Who solves things peacefully like that?

In fact, the way to take it was simple.

“Then I’ll teach healing too. If I get more students than her, that should do it.”

“Professor? Didn’t you say it was more comfortable having fewer students?”

“I changed my mind. Just now.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Healing is a discipline for the sick. There shouldn’t be anyone who can’t take the class because there aren’t enough seats.”

“Professor…! So you mean you’ll become the head of the healing department and set Haven straight!”

That’s not it.

Anyway, he needed to steal the students. He needed to—but the problem was…

‘Damn Ruins Wayne!’

Ruin thumped his chest.

‘Why can’t a healing major use healing magic?! Why?!’

He’d told them on the rooftop that there was nothing he could fix—but there really was nothing! Now he could understand why Charlie had come to block his employment out of sheer disbelief!

That was right. Ruin had tried to take the skills of the Union hero “Ruins Wayne” so he could open a healing class.

So, suppressing the prideful “Iron Wall of Pride” trait with great effort, the abilities he finally obtained were—

【Move】
Can move objects.

【Elegant Sewing】
Greatly increases sewing speed.

【Maniacal Doll Assembly】
Creates figurines. Greatly increases figurine production speed.

‘Damn it! Not this stuff! Healing magic!’

And why did someone who got hired at a military academy not even have attack or defense magic?!

As Ruin grabbed the back of his neck, the Ginseng Executive remarked:

「…Could it be that that’s all the abilities he has?」

Ruin’s eyes flashed dangerously.

‘No way. How would a guy like that get hired at Haven, where heroes are crawling all over the place?’

「Well, still, all three are ‘special grade.’」

…I don’t need special-grade figurine crafting!

Ruin groaned.

‘Ha… How am I supposed to make healing a top-tier course with no healing magic?’

He didn’t care about the actual lectures—he just needed to steal the students.

And then, at that moment, as if she’d heard something outside, TA Liri came running in, pale as a sheet.

“P-Professor. This is bad! The Imperial Princess has arrived!”

“Hm?”

“And she says she wants to see Professor Wayne… with a terrifying expression…!”

So she’s the instigator.

Ruin’s eyes changed, as if this was perfect timing.

‘Let’s use the princess.’

Because the princess was the healing professor’s prized disciple. If he used her reputation well, he might be able to siphon off students even without healing magic.

In short, bait to use and discard!

「As expected of the backstabbing king, Firefly…….」

But Ruin ignored that, his eyes gleaming.

“Didn’t you say the princess started ‘driving out professors’ because of that incident a year ago?”

“Yes. A student who died a year ago was a close friend of the princess, and the professors’ response at the time was… less than ideal.”

From what he’d heard, it seemed the student had been killed by demons during a practicum. The demon-hunting professor had fled, and another professor had pretended not to know the student and run away as well.

‘If even the head professor ran, it must’ve been a demon of considerable rank.’

But Ruin was a direct agent under the Demon King, ranked among the top ten in skill even within Pride.

‘I know all the big names in Pride.’

So let’s use that.

And indeed, the TA provided some useful information.

“At the time, the princess said that if someone could just catch that demon, she’d do anything, staking the name of the imperial family.”

Anything?

‘Good.’

Ruin’s eyes gleamed.

Right. He’d give her information on her enemy and win her favor.

“Which demon was it that the professors faced back then?”

“Firefly.”

“………….”

Ruin pinched the bridge of his nose.

…Why does this keep happening to me, damn it?!

The bastard who’s been impersonating me since last time—who the hell is it?

But Liri was serious.

“Firefly was already one of Haven’s primary targets, but after that incident, the students are even more fired up about catching him.”

…This is unfair.

“Well, Firefly is the Union’s archenemy after terrorizing the imperial family.”

…That one actually was my doing.

“And that’s not all! If you pooled together all the bounties on Firefly, you could buy several countries!”

…Couldn’t you just wire that money directly to me?

“That heinous villain will definitely be captured!”

Sure. He’s right in front of you.