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Chapter 9
The two of them pushed the bed in rhythm, sharing an oddly intimate conversation.
“Baby.”
“What.”
He snapped back before realizing what he’d just responded to. The fact that he’d answered to “baby” made him feel like an idiot.
Had he really gotten used to that assassin who moonlighted as a pickpocket? It was absurd, even if the circumstances left him little choice.
Baby, she said.
But Maddy, as usual, kept talking as if nothing were strange about it.
“Babe. You know, it’s seriously annoying how you speak formally in front of people but casually only when we’re alone.”
“…So what do you want me to do?”
“Should I talk casually too?”
“You already mix it up.”
“Then let’s be fair and you start mixing it too.”
“I’m your employer. I’m a noble, unlike you.”
Eulician deliberately responded like a pompous jerk. But, of course, it didn’t work on Maddy.
“Ugh, damn this filthy class system. I guess there’s no helping it then.”
“…You’re seriously…”
“Ah! Don’t stop, don’t stop! It’s too hard pushing this big bed alone. Maddy’s tiiired.”
Eulician clenched his jaw and kept shaking the bed, suppressing his growing irritation.
The wooden floor creaked loudly throughout the mansion.
After over 40 minutes of this, sweat began to bead on Eulician’s forehead.
“40 minutes should do it. Yeah, that’s enough. It’s believable. It won’t ruin our image.”
“What do you mean ‘believable’… Oh, come on! Seriously!”
“Let’s take a break.”
With that, Maddy dragged the bedsheet over and wiped the sweat off Eulician’s face—quite roughly.
He pushed her hand away.
“I have a handkerchief! Why are you doing this?”
Unfazed, Maddy simply shrugged and wiped her own sweat with the other corner of the sheet.
“The smell of sweat adds realism.”
“…Ha! Thorough, aren’t you.”
“Of course. I don’t half-ass things that involve money.”
She flopped onto the bed and rolled around like a child.
“…Do we really need to go this far?”
“Wanna roll with me? Maids are super sensitive about this kind of stuff. They can tell instantly if a bed smells different from usual. You nobles wouldn’t get it.”
With a sigh, Eulician laid on the bed after she got up.
“Now roll around. Get that sweat smell on everywhere.”
“…Do we really have to?”
“Do you not want to pay me, or do you want to die?”
He didn’t answer. He simply raised his arms and started rolling around the bed.
“Move over a bit.”
“Why? What are you doing…?!”
Maddy ignored his flustered protest and lay beside him.
“Don’t be so dramatic. Are you going to act like this every time we link arms in public too? Just roll with me. It’s a waste if we’re already sweating.”
So the two of them rolled around silently, like baby bears—one to the right, the other to the left.
Then Maddy insisted they switch sides.
Eulician obeyed without protest this time. Arguing with her was pointless—he could never win.
As he moved over her body, his eyes met hers for a fleeting moment.
Slanted, sharp eyes with bright green irises framed by clear whites.
Soft brown hair disheveled above a round forehead.
His eyes lingered on her flushed, sweaty cheeks—then snapped away like he’d been burned.
Focus. Just focus on rolling.
They kept rolling in silence.
“Okay, it’s been ten minutes. Get up.”
“…You go wash first.”
Calling her “Maddy” now felt too awkward. It was fine earlier, but somehow, not now.
That moment kept replaying in his head.
The moment he had climbed over her body.
The rare, quiet second when the usually talkative Maddy had been pinned between his arms, looking up at him.
“Wash? What do you mean wash?”
“…You’re not going to wash?”
“We need to do it one more time.”
“What?”
Maddy sighed and began explaining again.
“This is supposed to be a night of mad, all-consuming passion. But just once? That’s… I mean…”
She trailed off.
Then, with a tsk, she closed her mouth and glanced at Eulician with a mix of pity and amusement.
“Well, even if it’s fake, it needs realism. Can’t ignore the Grand Duke’s… you know.”
“…Wait. What do you mean by that?”
Maddy shook her head and patted his shoulder.
She started heading to the bathroom, then turned back.
“…Things don’t always go the way we want. Not even when it’s your own body.”
“M-Maddy. Wait. Don’t wash. Come back! One more time!”
“Oh please. You’ve done well. Applause for our hard-working Grand Duke!”
“Get back here!”
“I understand. Living in fear all this time, of course it could affect performance. Honestly, I think we overdid it earlier.”
“Hey! I—I’m perfectly healthy!”
“Sure you are. Hang in there. I’ll go wash.”
“Don’t! You can’t have the water sound and bed noise happening at the same time!”
Fuming, Eulician shook the bed on his own.
Up and down, side to side. He grabbed the bed frame and rattled it like he meant to break it.
Maddy climbed up and started kicking the headboard in rhythm with him.
“…What are you doing?”
“Well, Your Grace is apparently pushing so hard that I’m slamming into the wall. Thud thud. Get the idea?”
“…Goddamn.”
No sense of shame whatsoever.
The back of Eulician’s neck burned red.
Maddy had a real knack for getting under someone’s skin.
He gritted his teeth and shook the bed harder every time she kicked.
Until the pale dawn light began to rise.
Wiping their sweat on the blanket in between.
“Your Grace, that’s enough. Keep going and people will think you’re a machine, not a man.”
“You’re the one who—! Made it seem like I… like I couldn’t perform properly!”
“Yeah, yeah. Four times in total. Wow, amazing. I’m swooning.”
With a sly grin, Maddy mock-applauded.
Then, she gently wiped his sweaty face with the blanket and pushed him toward the bathroom.
Under the running water, Eulician’s mind went blank.
…What the hell did I just do? How am I supposed to face the servants tomorrow…
Even after scrubbing himself clean, he still felt like a mess.
He left the bathroom without looking at Maddy and pointed vaguely back at the door.
“…Your turn.”
“Yessir~ Ooh, fancy soap! Smells divine. Can I have one?”
“Shut it.”
“Aw, my babe’s stingy.”
Ignoring her teasing, Eulician collapsed onto the bed.
His wet hair soaked the pillow, but he didn’t care.
The day had been way too long.
Maddy ate a poisoned sweet potato by herself, caught the criminal by nightfall, interrogated him, dumped his body like trash… and shook the bed with him.
His head pounded.
Just recalling the last 24 hours made his brain ache.
But for now, he had no choice but to keep this crazy, chaotic woman close.
He had to get out of the emperor’s eye. Had to make sure he didn’t seem like successor material.
I have to survive.
As that desperate urge resurfaced, a familiar ringing buzzed in his left ear.
He knew it well. His mother’s coughing hallucination would come next.
That cough will haunt me the rest of my life.
Just as the nightmare was starting, there was a loud thud against the bathroom wall.
He thought it was a hallucination—but it wasn’t.
The water still ran, but something kept banging against the wall.
Then came a loud crash. Sounded like things falling.
An intruder?
Eulician shot up from the bed.
No matter how trained Maddy was, if she got ambushed while bathing, she wouldn’t stand a chance.
He grabbed the sword hidden under the bed and kicked the bathroom door open.
“Maddy! Are you—”
“Hm?”
She was alone. Slowly turning to him.
And despite being fully exposed, she wasn’t even flustered. Just… slightly annoyed.
Her bare, scarred body appeared through the misty steam.
Her brow arched. Her mouth smiled, but there was a faint killing aura in her eyes.
He’d seen that calm, murderous aura before.
That night he nearly died—when a long-haired young woman took down two men alone.
Yes, even then, she had smiled while killing.
Eulician instinctively gripped his sword tighter and swallowed hard.
Maddy’s slow, quiet voice cut through the falling water.
“…Our dear Grand Duke doesn’t know how to knock, does he. And now he’s staring at someone’s naked body. Enjoying the view?”
That’s when he realized—he was staring.
Panicked, he spun around.
“…Sorry! I heard the banging and thought… thought someone broke in! A-a killer maybe! I thought you were under attack! Sorry! Really sorry!”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, nothing’s wrong, so I’ll just go!”
He flailed behind him, searching for the door handle.
That’s when a wet hand touched his.
He froze.
Maddy’s hand grasped his, then slid along his forearm.
“We just did it again. In the bathroom. You didn’t seem to get it, so I’m telling you. We need to be consistent.”
Oh.
So that banging on the wall was… that?
Maddy gently patted both his shoulders.
Her voice whispered directly in his ear.
“And Your Grace… if there is ever a real intruder… just run.”
He was about to ask how he could possibly run alone, but she added—
“If you die, I lose my money.”
With that, she pushed him out of the bathroom.
The door slammed behind him.
Right. She valued money more than life.
And I’m the one who chose her.
Eulician chuckled bitterly and tossed the sword—still clenched so tight it cramped his hand—aside without a second thought.
