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Chapter: 11
It really was like that.
The Crown Prince’s skill couldn’t even be compared to Rafel’s.
If it were my true self—Rafel—then even in this body, crushing an unripe fruit like him wouldn’t be particularly difficult.
And so, naturally, the victory ended up in my hands.
Yet I didn’t feel good at all.
In fact, I felt worse.
Because of the Crown Prince glaring at me as if he wanted to kill me, and because of Bin, who was looking at me with gloomy eyes that clearly said, “You told me not to bother you when I kept following you around asking for sparring, but you’ll spar with His Highness?”
Thanks to Bin’s reaction, the Crown Prince’s fury only grew stronger—an entirely predictable outcome.
“How did you suddenly get so much better? What kind of training did you do? Why were you fooling around all this time during sparring sessions? Did you train in secret? With who? With Bin? Behind my back? Do you want to die?”
Ah… just kill me already.
The Crown Prince’s hatred toward me had been noticeably intensifying lately.
I even tried deliberately losing during the next sparring session, but he noticed anyway, and the same pattern repeated itself.
Unable to find any solution, the Crown Prince picked fights with me more and more as the days went by.
To the point that threats to my life had practically become our morning greeting.
At this rate, even without officially ordering my execution, it felt like he might just stab me to death himself someday… That’s how strong the sense of danger was.
Desperate to survive somehow, I headed straight to a sword shop within the marquisate.
Whether it was hard to wield or not didn’t matter—when your life is on the line, that’s irrelevant. I just needed something to carry for self-defense.
“Do you have a sword suitable for personal protection?”
“For a young lady like you, these are fine.”
The shop owner, who looked to be of much lower status than Irlin, spoke casually—rudely so—right off the bat.
Where he pointed were rows of beautiful swords inlaid with expensive-looking jewels here and there.
Even to someone like me, who had never bought a sword before, they looked more like decorations than weapons meant to kill.
“Um… do you have something more practical? A real self-defense sword, I mean.”
“What would a pretty young lady want with something so dangerous? You can just have a dependable knight protect you.”
“Stop spouting nonsense and just show me the merchandise.”
The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
To think I’d hear the same things here that I used to hear when I was Baek Mona.
No matter where you go, there are crazy people everywhere.
But the craziest person in this area wasn’t him—it was someone far crazier…
Me. Irlin Heder.
“Don’t you know who I am?”
I asked while lightly twirling my hair.
The moment he saw my blue hair—the very symbol of House Heder—the shop owner’s face turned deathly pale.
It seemed he had finally recalled the infamous reputation of the marquis’s daughter, known for tormenting even the common folk.
Hm. Possessing a villainess has its perks at times like this.
“I-I’m terribly sorry! I’ll bring you the most powerful weapon right away!”
“Good. Hurry.”
I gave the order loftily, speaking down to him just as he had done earlier.
As I watched the shop owner scurry away, smiling in satisfaction, I suddenly felt someone poke my hand.
Looking down, I saw a small child staring up at me.
“…What is it, kid?”
“Miss Marquis. This shop doesn’t have good-quality goods, so please don’t buy anything here. There’s a shop called ‘Marche’ about three blocks away—it’s much better. And even for self-defense, a rapier-type sword would suit you better than a dagger.”
“Huh? How do you know all that?”
“It’s not that I know—it’s that an older brother gave me this and told me to pass it on to you.”
The child was holding a gold coin.
Someone told him to pass this along? I immediately scanned my surroundings.
Because there were so many people, I hadn’t noticed before that someone was watching me… but once I became aware of it, I could feel it.
Even amid the crowd, there was a presence that stood out clearly—one I had become all too familiar with.
Bin Ortega.
So he ended up meddling in my business after all.
After acting like he’d never deal with me again.
Should I pretend not to know? Or acknowledge him and tell him not to do this anymore? As I hesitated—
“That’s him.”
Suddenly, the child pointed at a shadowy figure wrapped in a black robe.
Startled, that figure tried to flee in a hurry, but I grabbed him.
Like a predator instinctively chasing fleeing prey, it was a rather impulsive act.
“Bin.”
“……”
“……”
I’d grabbed him without thinking, so I had no idea what to say.
In that awkward silence, Bin removed his robe first and spoke.
“I was worried. I couldn’t stand by and watch you buy a bad sword. You know I’m interested in swords. Not you—the sword.”
His voice sounded utterly indifferent.
I replied in the same indifferent tone.
“I see.”
At my response, which clearly conveyed that I wasn’t curious about his reasons at all, Bin looked flustered instead.
He was the one who spoke rudely first—what was with that reaction?
“Don’t misunderstand.”
“Misunderstand what?”
“I’m not interested in you.”
“I know.”
“Good. As long as you know.”
Bin pulled his robe back over his head.
He started to walk away, then suddenly stopped and glanced back over his shoulder.
“Was I… a bother?”
Those deep blue eyes visible beneath the robe—had they ever looked so pitiful?
Whenever those eyes were turned on me before, they’d been filled with nothing but hatred.
So what was this emotion now?
One thing was certain—it didn’t seem like hatred.
Maybe it was just my imagination, but it almost looked like… he was yearning for affection.
“No.”
I should have answered that way—and after answering, I should have distanced myself even more.
But I couldn’t bring myself to be that cold in front of him.
That young boy—my ultimate favorite—was making that expression! What kind of cold-blooded person could ignore it?
Even if my life were on the line, anyone’s judgment would falter.
“Then that’s a relief.”
With that same indifferent tone, Bin turned his head back and walked forward.
But I saw it.
Just before he turned away, the corner of his mouth lifted—just slightly.
…Why?
From that day on, Bin’s previously icy attitude softened in a strange way.
He still didn’t speak to me, but whenever I felt a gaze and looked over, Bin was always watching me.
The Crown Prince noticed Bin doing this, then shifted his gaze to me and issued a silent death threat with his eyes.
Ah, I shouldn’t have grabbed Bin that day. I should’ve told him he was a bother.
But regret meant nothing once the water had already been spilled.
No matter how much I struggled, I was stuck in place. Still, I was glad I’d decided to buy a sword.
Ugh. He’s glaring at me like he wants to kill me again! It feels like he could cut my throat any moment today!
…And in the midst of living with this constant sense of impending death, yet another incident occurred.
“I truly, deeply hate you, Irlin Heder.”
Apparently, Sis’s secret had reached the ears of the marquis and marchioness.
The fact that Sis likes men.
I’d never said anything, and this event didn’t exist in the original story, so of course I had no idea who told them.
Sis, who had no way of knowing my situation, immediately suspected me and came to confront me.
“You said you wouldn’t tell anyone! You said it was perfectly natural for a person to like another person!”
“Calm down, Sis. I didn’t say anything.”
“Then why do my parents know? Why are they looking at me like I’m a bug and trying to lock me up in Doctor Saint’s hospital?!”
“I don’t know. I really didn’t tell anyone.”
“Then who did? If it wasn’t you, who else would say something? You’re the only one who knows!”
Someone other than me who knows Sis’s secret…
The image of a silver-haired boy who was currently sulking at me came to mind.
But even if he was holding a grudge, I was sure he wasn’t the kind of person to spread someone else’s weakness.
Why else would he be my favorite? Someone that unethical could never be my favorite.
If it wasn’t Bin, then who? Someone who knows Sis’s secret besides me and Bin…
There was one more.
The person who heard those words directly.
“I like men.”
Sis’s maid, Anna.
“Your maid knows too.”
“There’s no way Anna would do something like that.”
“What makes you so sure? People are complex. Even someone who seems purely kind can do bad things.”
She really was straight out of my sister’s novel—trusting anyone she gave her heart to, just like my sister.
I’d seen something like this before.
Back then, I confided in a friend that I was a BL novelist, and the rumor spread everywhere…
“I’ll ask your parents who told them. Until then, don’t think too much about it.”
“How do I know you won’t lie and say you heard it from Anna, even if you were the one who said it?”
Sis’s face was full of suspicion.
She trusted Anna unconditionally, yet she was so cold toward me.
Well, anyone would be that way toward that Irlin Heder…
‘Still, you could trust me a little.’
I couldn’t help feeling hurt, and my tone grew cynical.
“Then you ask your parents yourself, Sis.”
“Ask the people who pinch their noses and step back whenever I try to talk to them?”
“Then what do you want me to do? Why won’t you believe me when I say it wasn’t me?”
“Why? Because I may not know Anna well, but I know you very well. You’re cruel and sly. You were born to torment others. Someone like you, knowing my weakness and still—”
I cut Sis off mid-sentence.
“Watch your words. ‘Weakness’? Why is liking someone a weakness? Why are you putting yourself down like th—”
This time, Sis interrupted me.
“Don’t interrupt me. Fine. Not my ‘weakness,’ then. But you’re not the kind of person who would just let something like that go once you knew it. And yet you’re acting all gentle and out of character. Why?”
“Acting gentle? When did I ever? I just said what I thought.”
“The person called Irlin Heder isn’t someone who thinks that way.”
Honestly, I couldn’t argue with that.
If it hadn’t been me but the original Irlin who discovered Sis’s secret, she wouldn’t have stopped at telling their parents—she would’ve gone around waving a banner that read ‘Sis Heder is incapable of reproduction!’ for all to see.
