CATBP~32

Chapter 32

I watched Kana, bound in ropes, being dragged away until the very end, and then I returned to my room.

Pulling the bell cord to call Sally, I covered my face with one hand.

“Haah.”

A long sigh spilled into my palm.

When I mentioned summoning the knights, the way Kana instantly snapped her head up—her expression laid her emotions bare.

She had been utterly flustered.

As though she truly believed I wouldn’t punish her.

That strange faith she showed etched itself into her face, and it pierced my chest like a thorn.

“Madam, pardon me.”

At the sound of a presence, I lowered my hand. Sally, who came all the way to my feet, carried none of her usual cheerful, bubbly smile. Instead, there was careful caution on her face.

‘She must have already heard about the commotion outside.’

All the better. It would make my questions easier.

“From now on, I want you to answer me truthfully without a single lie.”

“Yes, Madam. I will do so.”

“Since I came here, what have the servants in this estate been saying about Fey? Tell me everything you know.”

I had to hear it for myself, to confirm.

What effect my presence had on Fey.

I watched Sally’s every expression and word with unyielding attention.

“When the three of you first came to the capital, there were quite a few opinions saying that the young master’s standing would shrink compared to before.”

She lowered her lashes as if recalling the past or carefully choosing her words.

“At that time, people didn’t know what kind of person you were, Madam, and especially since there was some distance in the relationship between the Duke and the young master, they thought so all the more.”

Recalling Kana’s cruel remarks about Fey and the words Sally had just shared, I clenched my fists.

I never—never—intended to threaten Fey.

Even if this world split in half, even if I suddenly lost my mind, I was certain I would never do that.

But I had overlooked that in others’ eyes, I could appear that way, and that the one harmed by those perceptions would not only be me.

<If you truly wished to protect the young master, you should not have become the duchess. Please, before it becomes official, step down of your own will.>

…So this is what it means that just doing my best is not enough to solve everything.

The heaviness in my chest was like a lump of wet cotton, all because of my foolishness.

“But!”

At that moment, Sally drew in a sharp breath.

“Now, because of the harmonious way the three of you live together, those opinions have all completely vanished!”

As though determined to emphasize that such talk no longer existed, every word came out with force.

“Truly! I swear on my life as a maid!”

Sally’s eyes widened desperately, begging me to believe her.

“If not, I’ll even wager my left hand!”

Her dramatic oath was both endearing and touching.

I pressed my lips into a thin line, placed my hand over my chest, and exhaled deeply.

“If that way of thinking is gone, then I’m relieved.”

Only then did Sally relax, releasing the tension from her eyes.

I lay awake until dawn, staring at the ceiling.

I had pretended to be reassured in front of Sally, but my heart was anything but calm.

‘It’s fortunate that the gossip about Fey has disappeared.’

Perhaps my efforts to bring the Duke and Fey closer had worked in this way.

‘But who knows what people still think in their hearts.’

Surely, some must have been like Kana, believing “Fey will be abandoned eventually.”

Now that Kana had been punished, they might no longer dare voice such thoughts aloud. But the fact that anyone could harbor such views toward Fey was unbearable to me.

I wanted Fey to see and experience only good things. I knew I was being excessive, but I couldn’t help it.

That’s what it means to care for someone, isn’t it?

And in that sense, I hated myself most of all right now.

‘Thinking that if I just saved the Duke and strengthened their bond, Fey would automatically be happy forever—how could I have been so simple-minded?’

Why did it take me until now to realize that my simplicity might end up wounding Fey?

Mom. Maybe your daughter really is too simple.

I tilted my head slightly and gazed out the window with a sigh.

The clear, bright moonlit sky reminded me of Fey’s eyes.

He had said he was fine, but after all that happened, I couldn’t help but worry. And besides, I just missed him.

‘If I miss him, of course I should go see him.’

I got up from bed.

Instead of just lying there, worrying about whether Fey was okay, it was far better to go and check for myself.

Even if it was the dead of night and he was already asleep, at least I could make sure he was resting peacefully.

I walked carefully through the dark hallway toward Fey’s room. Opening the door gently, I even stood on tiptoe, worried I might wake him.

My shadow trailed after me as I crept closer to him.

“…Uhh.”

At the faint groan, I froze in place.

There were only two people in this room.

And there was no mistaking whose voice that was.

Still tiptoeing, I hurried to Fey’s bedside.

“…ther…”

His brows were deeply furrowed, his body twisting restlessly as occasional groans slipped out.

“…Fey.”

It was unmistakable—the look of someone trapped in a nightmare. My heart plummeted straight to the floor with a heavy thud.

At one in the morning, I slipped into Fey’s room and checked on him.

He lay there, face contorted, letting out painful moans.

As I gently patted his chest, I bit down on my lip.

‘It’s already been four nights.’

The first day, after Kana’s words, I had prayed he’d sleep peacefully and came just to confirm. Yet the second night, the third, and even tonight—Fey kept being tormented by nightmares.

In Silent Night, my favorite character also suffered frequent nightmares.

But those were caused by trauma after Lucas died—something completely unrelated to the situation now.

‘So Kana’s words really did wound him.’

As I continued to pat him steadily, his breathing gradually became calmer and more regular.

When the furrows smoothed from his brow and his expression finally relaxed, I lifted my hand from his chest and slipped out of the room.

The walk back to my own room felt far heavier and gloomier than the way there, as if the air itself pressed down on me.

By the time I reached my door, my legs were weak and slow.

When I pushed it open wide, the Duke was standing by the window, leaning against it, bathed in moonlight as he fixed his gaze on me.

“Wahh!! Oh, you scared me half to death!”

…My heart nearly stopped.

I let out a scream loud enough to wake the whole estate, then finally clutched my chest when I realized who it was.

“What are you doing in my room at this hour?”

Still rattled, I shot him a reproachful glare as I asked. But the Duke only began walking toward me.

Step by step, the distance between us shrank quickly.

“Where exactly do you go every night?”

By the time he stood within arm’s reach, he had answered my question with one of his own.

It was an easy question. I was about to answer right away—when suddenly his eyes widened.

Puzzled, I froze. Then his hand brushed against my cheek.

“Why are you suddenly touching my face?”

…What, was this some new kind of death threat?

No, if he wanted to kill me, he’d have gone for my throat.

“Did something get on my cheek?”

I blinked in confusion—only to feel something trickling down.

Panicked, I wiped it with the back of my hand. It was clear liquid.

‘What? Why am I crying?’

Had my tear ducts finally broken?

All I had done was recall Fey when he asked where I’d been each night.

But thinking of Fey, suffering in nightmares for three nights straight, tears spilled fast and heavy onto the floor.

Only then did I realize why I was crying.

The moment I heard that question, Fey’s anguished face had flashed before me. And the one who asked the question—he looked exactly like my beloved grown-up Fey, Lucas.

“I went to see Fey. He’s been having nightmares, so I just couldn’t stay away.”

Wiping at my tears with my sleeve, I finally answered the Duke.

“Nightmares?”

“Yes. It seems what Kana said really hurt him.”

In the mornings, when I saw Fey, he showed no sign of having suffered.

But perhaps my beloved was hiding his pain, forcing a brave smile.

<Like the divine beast I am, I’ll be dignified and grown-up, and never bother Uncle!>

He was always so considerate of others, so quick to put their feelings above his own.

And I, knowing that, had still been careless.

No matter how much I wiped, the tears wouldn’t stop. My sleeve was already drenched.

Then the Duke’s hand lifted my chin.

His golden eyes scanned my face closely, narrowing slightly.

“You’re wearing the expression of someone guilty of a crime.”