ISMCFC 13

Episode 13

“……Pardon?”

“It seems something happened between the two of you yesterday. A man who was so eager to protect you, going on about how you were practically family, suddenly becomes awkward and won’t even come near you.”

He was perceptive. But right now, I wasn’t particularly grateful for his interest.

I wondered whether Kilian was simply making such remarks out of curiosity.

Yet, strangely enough, his blunt observations about the situation hurt even more, as though someone were driving a blade straight into me.

“I suppose he needs time to think. I was too hasty and…… threw myself at him.”

“What, did you kiss him?”

“No. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this so readily, but I confessed my feelings.”

Perhaps it was because he was the only person who knew about my relationship with Hares, and had no intention of telling anyone else.

Kilian was a dangerous man, but at least his interest was limited to Eve. That made it easier for me to speak freely around him.

“Why don’t you pay attention to the woman you’re so interested in, Miss Rotesie? At this rate, it doesn’t look like it’ll take long for the two of you to get together.”

Even as I said it, I felt as though I were hurting myself.

I knew perfectly well that I wasn’t the one destined to be with you.

The sight of Hares continuing his conversation with her seemed to tell me that this was simply how reality worked.

I felt like giving up.

I had long since thrown away my pride when it came to the person I loved.

For so long, I had desperately tried to keep my feelings buried, all because I wanted our relationship to remain the way it was. But now, those very feelings were bursting out of control.

Hares was keeping his distance from me, avoiding my gaze, yet he was speaking so gently with Eve.

I couldn’t help feeling jealous.

I wanted to march over and separate the two of them right then and there.

Pathetic and embarrassing as it was, I was only human, after all.

But Kilian, who was just as hopelessly in love with someone who didn’t return his feelings, merely murmured in an untroubled voice.

“Regardless of what feelings Miss Rotesie may have for anyone, she’ll eventually be mine. For now, I’m simply allowing her to enjoy a little freedom until that day comes……”

I supposed so. He would have her even if he had to lock her up.

Even knowing that Eve didn’t love him wholeheartedly, Kilian didn’t seem particularly bothered.

After all, he had both the power and the justification to force her to remain by his side.

With the faintest hint of a smile, he said to me,

“I imagine that sight isn’t particularly pleasant for Miss Chelsea.”

“We both like someone who doesn’t return our feelings, but you’re in a position of advantage. I’m jealous.”

“Not ‘you.’ Kilian. You know my name, don’t you?”

“We aren’t close enough to call each other by our first names. We’re simply two people who share an unspeakable secret and are working together.”

As if there’s anything good about becoming friends with you.

As I muttered those words in that tone, Kilian let out a quiet laugh.

“Now that things have turned out this way between those two, who knows what might happen between us in the future?”

“Why do you keep provoking me like that when you know perfectly well that I’m already upset?”

He was probably just enjoying my reactions.

But right now, my mouth felt so dry and rough, as though I had been chewing on a mouthful of sand, and my heart ached as if a sword had been driven straight through it.

It was an intangible kind of emotional pain. There was no treatment for it.

All I could do was pretend I was fine.

I had to endure this moment, doing my best not to watch Hares and Eve talking together.

All I wanted was to go home and cry my heart out alone.

I felt as though only crying as much as I wanted could finally release the emotions lodged painfully inside me.

It hurt as if a boulder were crushing my chest.

But Kilian continued, his words growing increasingly cutting.

“Didn’t you know this was how things would turn out from the beginning? Surely you didn’t actually believe that, by some miracle, he would suddenly embrace you and tell you he had fallen in love with his friend? Friendship and romantic love are two different things.”

He paused for a moment before asking me, his voice filled with genuine puzzlement,

“Is Miss Chelsea really that naive?”

“……”

At those words, all the tears I had been desperately holding back suddenly spilled out in front of everyone.

I had been doing everything I could to suppress the urge to cry.

Just a little longer. Hold on a little longer.

I kept telling myself that, somehow managing to endure it.

But Kilian’s words were so painfully realistic that I couldn’t deny the truth in them.

My lips began to tremble as I drew in a ragged breath.

My chest and shoulders kept heaving uncontrollably.

The tip of my nose stung. A transparent veil of tears blurred my vision until everything before me became indistinct.

Through my watery, unfocused eyes, I could just make out the startled and bewildered expressions of the people who had happened to meet my gaze.

Even those were difficult to see clearly.

“……Why have you suddenly stopped walking?”

Kilian looked at me in confusion. Then, at last, he noticed that I had burst into tears.

He stood there for a moment, looking down at me as though he didn’t know what to do. His gaze was almost like that of someone examining a laboratory specimen.

“Wait a moment.”

Kilian glanced around at the people watching us, then wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

Partially shielding me with his body, he led me toward the balcony.

It was certainly his words that had made me burst into tears, but even so, right now, I desperately needed any kind of comfort I could get.

I simply didn’t want to be alone, so instead of pushing him away, I followed quietly.

Besides, being out here was certainly better than crying in the middle of the ballroom, where everyone could see me.

Soon, I heard the balcony door close behind us.

Only then did I finally allow myself to cry freely.

“……”

Instead of continuing to make the same insensitive remarks as before, Kilian merely stood awkwardly in front of me, looking flustered. He couldn’t even seem to bring himself to reach out.

Then, belatedly, as I buried my face in my hands and sobbed, my shoulders shaking violently, he pulled me into his arms.

“……Let go!”

Honestly, I wasn’t particularly comfortable with being this close to Kilian right now, either, so I put up a feeble resistance.

Naturally, being the self-willed man he was, he didn’t let go so easily.

He simply patted my back with what was probably the most awkward gesture in the world.

In the unfamiliar embrace, I desperately tried to stop crying.

It took quite some time, but eventually my tears dried up. Only then did I pull my hands away and let out a long sigh.

I could feel Kilian’s gaze on me as he looked at me uncertainly, seemingly at a loss as to what he should do.

Then he asked,

“Would you like me to get you some water?”

“No.”

My voice must have been hoarse from crying, and my eyes probably looked red and felt hot.

Even in this state, with my nose running, I glared up at Kilian with a resentful expression.

“If it were up to me…… I’d go home right now. But I made a promise, so I’ll stay a little longer.”

“You can leave now. It’s not important enough for me to force you to stay here against your will, especially in this situation.”

“I know. But if I leave now, it would be even more……”

Strange.

It would seem as though I were deliberately trying to make Hares feel guilty.

My emotions were all over the place, but none of this was Hares’s fault.

He had simply been talking to Eve, who had approached him despite the awkwardness between us. That was all.

It was just that my heart had become so fragile that it felt as though I were standing in an open field without even the slightest protection.

“I’m sorry.”

He apologized, yet continued to hold me in his arms.

For some reason, Kilian’s gaze seemed to be directed not at me, but behind me—more precisely, toward the other side of the balcony door.

Still held against him, I drew in a breath.

My breathing, which had gradually grown more and more ragged, began to settle. And after crying to my heart’s content, my emotions, which had been in such complete turmoil, finally began to calm down.

“I was wrong.”

Kilian kept whispering those words as he gently stroked my hair.

Why is he acting like this?

His uncharacteristically gentle words and gestures only made me frown in confusion.

And then, at last, I understood.

The balcony door had opened rather roughly, and a low voice sounded from behind me.

“……Lize.”

Hares’s voice as he called my name was faintly hoarse, like steel scraping against steel.

“Are you all right?”

He asked me.

“Yeah.”

Even with my voice still thick with tears, I lied.

I couldn’t exactly tell him that I had cried because the sight of him and Eve together had been so perfect, as though they were a couple straight out of a painting.

After all, that would be no different from deliberately burdening Hares with guilt when he was already struggling to sort out his feelings.

“……I just need a little time. I’m fine. Really.”

“I know you. How could you possibly be fine? You hardly ever cry.”

I heard Hares’s footsteps approaching across the stone floor.

But I stopped him.

“Don’t come any closer!”