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Chapter – 19
Shivering, she woke up and looked around, finding traces of Heinrich everywhere.
Since Solitaria had gotten ready here that morning, Heinrich’s clothes had been neatly placed next to hers, as if to accompany her.
His favorite watch sat on the vanity, and the rabbit plush he couldn’t sleep without was rolling around on the bed. Above all, what drove Solitaria the most insane was the room itself, steeped in Heinrich’s cool yet cozy scent.
“Open the window. The window.”
Normally, Mary would come every morning to air the room, yet for some reason, his scent was unusually strong today.
Hurriedly, Solitaria approached the window and flung it open. The fresh wind brushed her cheeks, and the crisp air seemed to lift her mood slightly. Then, feeling eyes on her from below, she looked down—and Heinrich was standing there, staring at her.
She had seen him, their eyes had met.
“Why are you pretending not to notice?”
He didn’t ask her to look down or signal for her to come. Heinrich hid his presence while talking to Raon.
A strange, boiling emotion surged within her.
“Hah! Do you think I want to be with you or something?”
Although his scent lingered, Solitaria closed the window and leapt onto the bed. The rabbit plush Heinrich loved lay before her.
With its white fur and amber eyes, the rabbit closely resembled Solitaria herself. Feeling annoyed by the doll that seemed to be staring right through her, she turned it around.
Satisfied with the reversed doll, she turned herself the opposite way.
Yet, before long, Solitaria turned back again and placed the rabbit next to her. Upon closer inspection, it wasn’t so bad: the perky ears, the gleaming eyes, and, most importantly, the lingering scent of Heinrich.
“You’re cheeky, but since your owner isn’t here today, I’ll sleep with you. Tomorrow, I’ll return you to that naughty master.”
She fiddled with the plush, tossing and turning for a while.
The loudness of her own breathing in the room was the first reason; the absence of another’s breathing beside her was the second.
Even the lack of rustling from the blanket added to it. The subtle absence of him creeping closer…
Thinking about it one by one, Solitaria couldn’t fall asleep. She then tossed a pillow that had been blocking the middle of the bed under it.
“Why was this in the middle?”
She thought this would make the cramped space more comfortable. It was a scene that would seem ridiculous to anyone else: the room felt spacious, yet she was adjusting space on the bed itself.
Ultimately, Solitaria couldn’t sleep that night. Among many reasons, she concluded: she couldn’t close her eyes, fearing he might barge in during the early morning. She repeated this thought dozens of times. Even when the sun rose, her mind wouldn’t rest.
Contrary to her worries, Heinrich didn’t force his way into her room until breakfast. He just smiled, standing at the door, asking if she had slept well.
Solitaria, unwilling to answer honestly, shrugged and said she had slept fine.
“If you enjoy sleeping alone so much, say so. From now on, you can sleep in my room.”
“…Did you eat something wrong?”
“No, I’m perfectly fine. I just want you to be comfortable. You were uncomfortable because of me, after all.”
Solitaria had no words. She just ate breakfast and went to class. When parting, Heinrich said he would come pick her up later and left cleanly.
“Something’s weird.”
“What’s weird?”
“Ah!”
Clapping her hands, Lienna snapped Solitaria back to focus.
“I gave you time to rest yesterday, so why can’t you concentrate? You’ll trip if you keep walking like that.”
Realizing what she had been doing, Solitaria began walking in time with Lienna’s steps.
After that day, Lienna dumped an enormous pile of homework on Solitaria, just as she had warned.
Thanks to it, Solitaria didn’t think about Heinrich at all. Perhaps it was for the best.
“Ha, should I thank the teacher?”
Her heart, which had been racing whenever she met Heinrich, calmed down in his absence. It was certainly better for her this way.
“Busy today?”
“Yes, I need to finish my homework at the library. Have dinner first; I’ll stay here.”
“Don’t skip dinner.”
He scolded her sharply, then suddenly brought his face close.
Solitaria instinctively stepped back, but behind her was only the wall—there was nowhere to escape.
“Al-alright, I’ll eat. I can eat first, then do my work. So, please step back…”
“Look at me.”
“Why? I need to eat first, then I have work to do.”
Trying desperately to avoid eye contact, Solitaria’s gaze darted around. He frowned slightly, perhaps misunderstanding her actions.
“Hah, I suggested keeping distance so we could sleep separately. What’s wrong now?”
“I’m not upset.”
“Then why won’t you look at me?”
“Look at what?”
Solitaria hated the heavy air. Things never ended the way she expected in situations like this.
While she pondered how to escape, Heinrich lifted her chin.
“You can’t run.”
“….”
“Not even turn into a rabbit. If you transform, I’ll become a wolf and bite your butt hard.”
A ridiculous threat. Solitaria glared at him.
“I didn’t run. That’s enough, right? Step back now.”
“Nope. Why are you so stubborn these days?”
Exhausted by his childish threats and her own unsettling emotions, her eyes flashed a little fiercely.
He never realized how her stomach twisted every time she faced him.
“Please, can’t you just leave me alone?”
“What?”
“I know my vague position, I know I should follow your antics quietly, so why do you keep making me feel uneasy?”
Her sharp words didn’t faze Heinrich much. Staring into his calm eyes, Solitaria muttered quietly:
“I wish I’d been rescued by another beast instead.”
A silence fell. She quickly covered her mouth—but the words had already escaped, naturally reaching Heinrich’s ears.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.”
It was a side of Heinrich she had never seen since coming to Hirups. Cold, somehow hurtful.
Realizing her words could be misunderstood, she wanted to explain—but chose to stay silent.
Heinrich shook his head, letting out a wry smile.
“I endure it because I have my karma, that’s all.”
He brushed his hair back and stepped away from her.
“Lousy.”
“I didn’t mean that…”
“I’ll have James send dinner to the library. Eat there; it’s more comfortable. I won’t come, so stay with Raon.”
Even at the last, he only spoke out of concern for her.
Without giving her a chance to respond, Heinrich walked away in long, decisive strides. Gone was his usual leisurely pace.
He seemed like someone running away, unlike Solitaria, who always fled.
She clutched her book tightly and muttered:
“Keeping distance is necessary.”
Getting close to him always caused these situations. The girl who had never dreamed of defiance now knew what “dislike” and “refusal” felt like—and ended up hurting someone she shouldn’t.
She had made some promises when rescuing him:
To not hide her emotions. To express her thoughts clearly.
Hurting Heinrich was never part of that.
She only wanted his happiness.
Yet, without realizing it, she sighed and sought only a way to escape. This time, not chasing him was her form of running.
After standing like that for a long while, she looked at Raon behind her and smiled. A smile with not a shred of sincerity.
A smile reminiscent of the one she had worn before rescuing Heinrich: a stranger unsure how to behave in an unfamiliar space.
