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Thus, Jess…… um…… how should I put it. His eyes were narrowed with tension, but the corners of his mouth were stretched out to both sides.
In other words, it was a face barely holding back a laugh.
“Hmm. Really? I didn’t know you’d be doing it to the point of getting sick of it.”
“……Just laugh if you want to laugh.”
As soon as I finished speaking, as if he had been waiting for it, Jess laughed out loud. His blue eyes curved so that only half of them were visible, and the corners of his mouth gently turned upward. That sight was truly beautiful.
It was an innocent smile that made the viewer unable to carelessly look away.
“To think you were that worried about me. I’ll have to make sure to come back quickly this time.”
“Can you do that just because you want to come back quickly? If the monsters cling to you and won’t let you go, it’s useless, isn’t it?”
“Then I’ll just have to clear them away quickly and come back.”
“You might get hurt being that confident. They say accidents happen when you let your guard down.”
“Ah, okay. I’ll be careful.”
For some reason, Jess was all smiles. His expression seemed completely unconcerned about the worries I had.
He must have just found it amusing. Did he like the analogy of doing it more than breathing? I don’t know, but it wasn’t bad seeing Jess grinning constantly.
Then again, despite his cool appearance, Jess is rather dense. If Jess had any awareness, he would have long noticed that I like him.
The first time I saw Jess was when I was 11. It wasn’t love at first sight then. Unlike his pretty appearance, his cold tone of voice made it hard to like him from the start.
But somehow, I came to hold Jess in my heart, as he would look after me kindly while pretending not to.
After that happened, I couldn’t hide my true feelings even if I tried. Because day by day, my feelings for Jess grew like a snowball.
I would secretly follow Jess around, and when we happened to meet, I’d just grin foolishly. Anyone could see I was obviously following Jess around. Probably the only person in this castle who doesn’t know I like Jess is Jess himself.
Yet seeing how I find the oblivious Jess endearing rather than irritating, the saying that the one who loves more loses must be true.
“Since you understand, you go get some sleep too. You said you have to leave early tomorrow, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll come back quickly. I should come back early because I’m worried you might not even be able to breathe if you’re only worrying about me.”
“It’s not that bad!”
Why is embarrassment always my share? I cleared my throat a couple of times for no reason and chased Jess away.
“Anyway, go. I’m really sleepy, so I’m going to sleep.”
“Okay. Don’t worry about me when you sleep, just get a good rest.”
“I don’t dream about you or anything when I’m tired, so I’ll sleep well.”
“Really? So I appear in your dreams often normally?”
“…….”
Jess’s confident tone was annoyingly smug, so instead of answering, I pushed him back.
Jess, stepping back as I pushed him, looked at me as if measuring something. Something flickered through his bright blue eyes in an instant, but I couldn’t tell what it was.
Confused, I blinked and stared at Jess, and he slightly shook his head.
“Never mind. When I come back…… Anyway, I’ll come back early.”
“Okay, I got it. Now go.”
“I’ll really be back soon, so just wait a little.”
“Yeah, okay. Come back safely.”
I waved my hand in front of Jess, who was about to smile again. I didn’t know why he was lingering here when he should be going to get some rest.
“You be careful too. Don’t go climbing trees again while being careless.”
It felt like the conversation would just keep going if I kept listening, so I nodded roughly and made a gesture of closing the door. Only then did Jess stop talking.
Through the closing door, Sylvia and the butler greeted me warmly. Should I have at least gestured a goodbye? Ah, I don’t know.
I shook my head quickly and searched for the painkiller. Then, realizing I had used it all up earlier, I flopped down onto the bed.
“Ugh…… I’ll have to go to the pharmacy and get some tomorrow.”
A groan escaped me naturally. The cozy blanket felt nice, but not as nice as Jess’s embrace.
“……I thought about Jess again.”
It hadn’t even been a few minutes since we parted. Really, if this is unrequited love, it’s severe, severe. If a day comes when I think about Jess less, would that mean my unrequited love is over?
By the way, what was Jess trying to say? Since he kept opening and closing his mouth, it seemed like something important but hard to bring up.
“Surely it’s not about breaking off the engagement?”
I lifted my face, buried in the blanket, abruptly. Oh my god. I had forgotten while eating. I can’t believe I forgot. Maybe my memory is actually terrible.
“I should have apologized first…….”
I just hoped that what Jess would say when he came back wasn’t something like ‘You’ve stayed long enough, so leave the castle now.’ I didn’t want to be chased out like that.
It didn’t have to be by Jess’s side…… I just wanted to stay here. Anywhere in the Lefgaen territory, even if not inside the castle.
But, how?
“……I wish my divine power would come back.”
But in my past life, until I died at 22, my divine power never returned. Somehow, I had a feeling that tonight, I wouldn’t be able to sleep well.
* * *
Far from not sleeping, I slept so well that it was the problem. I woke up late in the afternoon. And even that wasn’t because I woke up on my own; I only came to because Sylvia woke me up.
“Linea, wake up.”
“……Ugh.”
“I don’t want to wake someone who’s sleeping soundly either, but Jessian said I have to make sure you eat two meals a day…… I mean, he requested? Anyway, you have to wake up now to eat lunch and dinner today.”
“Hmm…….”
“Linea, did you hear me? You need to get up.”
I wanted to sleep more, but Sylvia pleaded so earnestly that I lifted my head from the fluffy pillow. If I stayed lying down like this, Sylvia looked like she was about to cry.
“Jess, um, ahem. Did Jess leave?”
I couldn’t possibly have a clear voice when I couldn’t even open my eyes properly. I cleared my throat and asked again, but no answer came. When I opened one eye and looked at Sylvia, she was biting her lip hard.
“Yes. Well, sniff. You’re looking for Jessian right after waking up.”
“…….”
“Don’t worry. The knights escorted him safely.”
I pretended to be still half-asleep, rubbing my face with my hands, and got up. I asked too thoughtlessly because I was groggy. Ah, damn. I should have asked if the knights had left, not about Jess.
I got up to wash up briefly and change clothes, but Sylvia was standing there smiling, not moving from beside the bed. What is it? I gave a small cough.
“Sylvia, thank you for waking me.”
“Yes.”
“Um. Now I’ll get up and slowly…….”
“Ah, shall I help you?”
Sylvia approached as if to offer support.
I couldn’t help but be flustered. Sylvia is a knight, so why is she trying to attend to me? Come to think of it, it wasn’t a maid who woke me up, but Sylvia.
The question was soon answered. Because Sylvia is someone who speaks well on her own.
“Hilde called all the servants in the castle. It was fortunate that I happened to be standing right in front of your room, Linea. Your maid was so flustered, so I offered to take care of you instead.”
“Aha…….”
“But if she called all the servants, what is she trying to do? Is she planning a big castle cleaning?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
“Surely she didn’t take even the kitchen staff, right? The chef is someone who hates being away from his post. They’ll still give me food if I go now, right?”
“Of course they will. Don’t worry about that.”
I gestured to stop Sylvia, who was trying to follow me into the dressing room. Sylvia stepped back.
The ‘Hilde’ Sylvia mentioned is ‘Hilde Lapar’, a former duchess’s lady-in-waiting and the nanny who raised Jess. She came to the North together with the former duchess as her close friend, and when others left, she stayed here out of affection for Jess.
Currently staying as a guest, she holds considerable influence and is involved in various matters.
She appears briefly in the original work as well, supporting Jess and the heroine by taking good care of Jess and telling the heroine about his good qualities. So I understand.
‘She probably doesn’t like me.’
She raised him like a son, and someone like me comes as his fiancée? She can’t openly oppose it, but she’ll surely disapprove. So I can easily overlook petty tricks like taking all the servants away.
Besides, that trick is only for the few days while Jess is away, and even without the servants, I won’t feel much inconvenience.
I’m also used to doing things alone. However, that look in her eyes that doesn’t hide her dislike for me is still unsettling no matter how many times I see it.
Even though I think I can’t help being disliked, having such clearly negative feelings directed at me right in front of my face is not something I relish.
‘I should move quietly so I don’t run into her in the hallways for no reason.’
