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~Chapter 33~
Lily was used to living according to other people’s orders.
A child’s duty was to quietly follow their father’s decisions.
A wife’s virtue was to obey her husband’s choices.
But wasn’t this way of thinking what led her to this point?
Going back to the capital or dying right away weren’t good options. But staying here and trusting Blake, only to be cast aside, was just as dangerous.
‘If I keep waiting here and get sent back to the capital, I’ll probably be burned at the stake.’
Even without Count Fox, her father would never forgive her.
He’d brand her as a witch who made a deal with the devil and bewitched men.
He was cold-hearted enough to do it.
‘Father never just quoted old books like other nobles. He studied all sorts of things—economics, world geography, and especially anatomy…’
She could never forget how he used to dissect mice for fun, more than ten at a time.
Lily was sure her father had probably killed a person at least once. He’d just never been caught.
“Miss Lily?”
At that moment, her maid, Gianna, came into the room carefully.
“Miss Lily, the chef made avocado purée. Would you like a little?”
She stirred the hot purée with her strong hands, trying to make it look tasty, but Lily just shook her head.
“I’m fine.”
“But you haven’t eaten properly for days.”
“I just don’t feel like eating, sorry.”
“Why do you keep saying sorry to us?”
Gianna almost never cried in her life.
But right now, she almost wanted to cry.
She wanted to throw a tantrum and roll on the floor like a baby, even break a few floorboards, and beg, ‘Please, just take one bite.’
“Miss Lily, you have nothing to be sorry for!”
Lily had already been dazed lately, but ever since she argued with Blake, she’d only stayed in her room.
Gianna was at her wits’ end.
Lily curled up on the bed.
“It must be the master’s fault. To be honest, we have no idea what happened, but I’m sure he’s in the wrong! He looks terrible, so maybe he knows it too.”
“…Did something happen to Mr. Blake?”
For the first time, Lily, who’d been silent all this time, looked worried.
But she stopped herself right away. Was she really in any position to worry about someone else?
She even felt like it was dishonest to feel sorry for the person she had raised her voice at.
“Oh, don’t get me started. The master looks like a beggar these days. His hair’s a mess… He really does look like a barbarian, just like the people from the capital say. Don’t you agree?”
Gianna tried to make a joke, but Lily was too busy wrapping herself in her blanket to feel any warmer.
Even though there was no real threat, she still felt a vague fear whenever air touched her skin.
“…Thank you for not asking about it.”
“Of course! Whatever happened, it’s all the master’s fault! What could he possibly get mad at Miss Lily for? Even if Satan came back to life, he wouldn’t dare! Should I really go kill him?”
Even at Gianna’s rough joke, Lily couldn’t laugh. She wanted to smile for Gianna’s sake, but her face only twisted with sadness.
Silence filled the room again.
Gianna placed the green porridge on the table, looking disappointed.
“Even if we go and give the master a hard time, nothing’s really going to change, is it?”
“…”
“But you must remember this: we’re always on your side, Miss Lily.”
Gianna hugged Lily, who was still wrapped in her blanket.
“I love you all, too. I still think Mr. Blake is a good person.”
Lily smiled, and her face looked normal.
But Gianna knew better. She knew this small young lady wasn’t really okay inside.
Lily sent Gianna away.
Even after that, she sat quietly in the corner of her bed for hours until dawn.
She could hear herself breathing, but everything still felt cold, like death.
“I think it’s about time for me to go. My time is up.”
Butler Alfredo, who had been sick, finally got over his cold, but his face was still pale.
“Don’t say that, old man. What would we do without you? It was just a cold.”
“Haha. It’s not just the cold. My body’s been getting worse in lots of ways these days… I worry about the master when I’m gone. When the previous lord died, it was hard enough. If I go too, who will remember the master’s childhood?”
Alfredo was packing his things.
He loved Winter Castle, but he wanted to spend his last days at home. If his health got worse, he wanted to be ready to leave at any time.
“Haha. I should throw things away now. How did I collect so much stuff? Greed really is a disease, isn’t it? I kept so many things I never used.”
“That’s just how life goes. You lived here for decades. Of course you’ve got a lot.”
“But to think I still had a suit from my youth… That’s a bit much.”
Alfredo laughed in his calm, old man’s voice.
He threw away trash and gave anything useful to others.
“Oh, what’s this…”
The old man found an old locket necklace in the closet. His faded eyes lit up with surprise.
Right away, he walked slowly to Blake’s office.
“Master, do you remember this? You gave it to me when you were little. We both forgot about it until now.”
Blake, his eyes red from sleeplessness, picked up the necklace. He couldn’t remember it.
“Why does it look so expensive? Did I really spend money on something like this?”
“Open it.”
Blake opened the locket and looked at the picture inside.
A long silence followed, then he finally muttered in a low voice,
“…Wait a minute.”
It was a portrait of young Blake and Lily, with Lily a head shorter.
He remembered—during a party, he and Lily used to talk in secret. But when would they ever ride in a carriage together?
Now he realized.
“It was my birthday. That’s why I was allowed to go welcome her properly.”
The old duke, Blake’s father, pitied the two children who barely had time to play.
So, for Blake’s birthday, there was a celebration in the capital.
“Many people accepted the invitation. Nobles, priests, bankers… but nobody really came to celebrate me.”
But only young Lily brought a flower ring in her small hands and gave it to Blake.
Alfredo nodded.
“So that picture in the locket must have been drawn then.”
“That’s right. We were playing in the garden at the party. A painter we hired drew it quickly…”
Back then, young Blake was pretty happy.
He even asked his father for a favor.
—Buy me two locket necklaces! The painter made another picture for me, too. He drew what I imagined when Lily and I met at the beach party. The other necklace with that picture will be for Lily.
Blake and Lily each got a locket. But the one Lily had was soon found by her parents.
—What is the meaning of this, Duke!
Lily’s parents, the marquis and marchioness, confronted Blake’s father right away.
Blake was there and heard everything.
—My daughter had a portrait I didn’t approve of, with a boy I didn’t approve of! Of course it was your son!
—Ha ha. Kids make memories, it’s normal.
—Sorry, but Lily is sensitive and easily influenced. No wonder her manners have slipped! To think she got this without my permission…
Though they didn’t say it aloud, they were criticizing Blake’s background—‘barbarian.’
Lily’s parents were furious.
—I should have known something was wrong. You dared to invite Lily to a birthday party just because you’re the same age? And you escorted her? You must have had other intentions!
—We just played together.
—Lily hasn’t even debuted in society yet. I can’t let her get caught in gossip. She’ll never find a good match later.
Blake’s greatest fear as a child came true.
—Do you understand? I don’t want you and Lily to meet again. Never.
Young Blake blamed himself for leaving behind proof—the locket.
That’s why he’d tossed aside the precious necklace he’d shared with Lily.
After that, he couldn’t speak to her again. The pain was too much, so he tried not to think of her… even if it meant forgetting all their memories.
Many years passed, and Blake thought he’d forgotten everything.
“After I was separated from Lily, I cried a lot. Now I remember clearly.”
He finished recalling the past, his face twisted like he might cry even now.
“I cursed those selfish adults. We were only playing. Adults always do what they want… treating children like toys…”
But now, Blake realized he was being just as selfish as those adults.
He ran his hand over his face with a tired, bitter laugh.
He’d never despised himself more.
He needed to see Lily—right now.
