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Chapter 12
“Re…ally?”
“Yeah.”
So that’s how it looked to others.
I took a sip of tea to calm the tangle of emotions inside me.
“Cecile, what’s it like when you’re in love?”
“Hmm, Yulia.”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve never dated anyone before, actually.”
“…What?”
Wait—what? Wasn’t she supposed to be at least flirting with the male lead?
“For real?”
“Yulia, if I were dating someone, do you really think I’d be here like this with you right now?”
“Oh… I guess that’s true!”
Could it be that the original story is really starting to go off track?
But Cecile, the heroine, is supposed to end up with the male lead, Idrian.
They looked good together, and more than anything, I didn’t want my interference to change their happy ending.
I couldn’t live with myself if I ruined my friend’s future just to save my own.
“Cecile, what do you think of the young lord Blair?”
“Huh?”
“I mean, what do you think about Lord Blair?”
“He’s handsome.”
“Then…!”
“But I don’t want to get involved with him. I shouldn’t, either.”
“Uh… why not?”
Her firm tone caught me off guard.
“Yulia, maybe it doesn’t matter much to you as a princess, but our family and the Blair dukedom have… very different goals.”
Cecile gave a slightly awkward smile.
So she meant that the Chloe family and the Blair family weren’t allies, but rivals.
“Then… what about the Duke of Zikbert?”
“We’re on friendly terms. Our interests align.”
Wait—so that means the heroine and the villain are in the same political faction?
“Then… you don’t have any feelings for Duke Zikbert?”
“No.”
“Uh… why?”
“Hmm… I just don’t want to be entangled with him, that’s all.”
Right. I didn’t want to get involved with the villain either. Not even a little.
“Especially not as an enemy. But I don’t want to be close to him, either.”
“Cecile.”
“Yeah?”
“When are you getting engaged?”
“…Huh?”
“You can take your time getting married, but you’re not even engaged yet.”
Unless… maybe there’s someone she secretly likes?
“Cecile, don’t tell me—!”
“Whatever it is, no.”
“You’ve got feelings for Duke Zikbert, don’t yo—”
“Absolutely not!”
Whoa, okay!
“Mm… got it.”
“Yulia.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re really not involved with Duke Zikbert, right?”
“Yeah.”
I swear, I have nothing to do with that man.
I was just about to take another sip of tea when—
“Then maybe he’s the one with an unrequited crush on you?”
“Pfft! Cough, cough!”
What the hell?! How did the conversation take that turn?!
When I came back to my senses, I realized I’d actually spat tea all over Cecile. Panicking, I shoved a handkerchief into her hands.
“Sorry!”
“It’s fine. But seriously, you and the Duke—there’s nothing going on?”
“Nothing! Not even close! It’s not what you think!”
“Really? Then be careful. The rumors about you in society are getting wild.”
“…What?”
“If you actually had feelings for him, it’d be one thing, but if not, you should make it clear.”
If Cecile said that much, the rumors must’ve been bad.
“They’re saying the mysterious princess who never shows her face in public is being secretly loved by the war hero himself. It’s quite the juicy story.”
“Wh-what’s juicy about that?!”
“Well, the secret first meeting between the two of you, obviously. Since no one knows how you met, everyone’s just making up their own versions.”
No way. The truth about how I met the villain could never be known.
Maybe I should just go back to hiding away quietly. No more stepping into society, no more complications.
“Yulia.”
“Yeah?”
“I really hope you’ll attend this year’s New Year’s Festival.”
“…I’ll think about it.”
I was considering it, but making the decision wasn’t easy. I’d never once attended a social event before.
Cecile stood up, smoothing down her dress like she was already preparing to leave.
“You’re leaving already?”
“I should. If you’ll miss me, just invite me again! Or come visit the Chloe estate yourself.”
“Okay!”
I saw her off, and when her carriage finally disappeared from sight, I turned back toward the palace, my steps dragging with reluctance.
“Yulia?”
Just when I was about to rest in my room, my brother blocked the doorway.
“Yulia, do you have a minute?”
“So suddenly?”
“Yeah. Suddenly.”
“How long have you been waiting here?”
No way… he didn’t seriously wait out here until Cecile left, did he?
“Not too long. Just a bit.”
So he had been waiting a while.
He held out his hand toward me — like he was offering to escort me.
I hesitated for a second, then placed my hand in his.
“Yulia, I really need to ask you something.”
“Yeah?”
“Are you dating Duke Zikbert? If you are, break up with him.”
“B…brother?”
What?! I’ve never even dated that villain, and now he’s telling me to break up with him?!
This was so unfair I could scream.
First Cecile, now my brother—why were they both doing this to me?
If they’d asked me about something that was actually true, I wouldn’t feel so wronged!
But why on earth were people saying I was dating the villain?!
“I’ve never dated him! Not once! Cecile said the same thing—why are you saying it too?!”
“So… you’re not dating him?”
Of course not!
“You’ve never even dated anyone before—”
“At least not Duke Zikbert. Definitely not!”
What a waste of time.
I’d gotten all worked up thinking he wanted to have a serious talk or something important.
But it was just this? Ugh, even though he’s my favorite brother, this was infuriating.
“…Did he dump you, then?”
And now he’s pouring oil on the fire.
“No! What are you even talking about?!”
“Hmm… your friend didn’t mention it earlier, but…”
“But what?”
“Your eyes are really red right now. Like you’ve been crying.”
“…Is it that bad?”
“Yeah. Pretty bad. So I thought Duke Zikbert made you cry.”
Well… he wasn’t exactly wrong. Just… not for the reason he thought.
“So if you’re not dating, then I thought maybe you got rejected or something…”
“Brother. Do I look like the kind of girl who gets rejected?”
Okay, maybe in the original novel I was.
But that has nothing to do with me now.
I’d never confessed to anyone, so I’d never been dumped either.
And honestly, I didn’t even want to fall passionately in love with someone.
“…I guess not?”
Why did that sound like a question?!
“Then don’t say weird things like that. And again — there’s nothing between me and Duke Zikbert!”
“Alright. If you insist that much, I’ll believe you.”
“I’m not going out for a while.”
The more I thought about it, the more seclusion seemed like the best plan.
If I just stayed home, I’d never accidentally run into the villain.
Unless he somehow snuck into the imperial palace again, the odds were almost zero.
“Alright. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you.”
“B…brother.”
“No matter what happens or why, I’ll always be on your side. So don’t worry.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
He’d really… be on my side? Could my brother truly stand by me unconditionally?
“Your Highness!”
“Mm…”
“Your Highness, the sun’s already high in the sky. It’s time to wake up.”
“Ugh…”
“Your Highness, Duke Zikbert is here at the palace.”
What? The Duke of Zikbert?!
“W-what?”
“He’s been standing out front since morning — hasn’t moved an inch.”
A chill ran down my spine. Since when had hearing his name first thing in the morning become this terrifying?
Well, I guess it wasn’t exactly morning anymore, since the sun was already high…
“Just tell him to leave.”
“I did. I told him I’d inform you once you woke, but he insisted he’d wait until you came out.”
“…Let him be.”
He’ll leave soon enough.
I was just… annoyed. How dare he come here, after that last encounter? The nerve! I couldn’t stand the sight of him.
“Still, Your Highness, you should at least eat. Please get up.”
“Mm…”
I didn’t even want to see him. I didn’t want to be near him.
I just… hated the villain.
And yet… I was curious. Maybe it was okay to take just one quick look at his face.
“Can I see him from here?”
“Yes, over there.”
Following my nanny’s finger, I looked out — and there he was, holding a massive bouquet of purple hyacinths.
He was too far for me to make out his expression.
“Your Highness?”
Before I knew it, I’d ducked behind the wall, startled.
Maybe I was imagining it, but for a brief moment, when he turned his head, our eyes seemed to meet.
“It’s nothing.”
“Should I at least accept the flowers?”
“No! Don’t accept anything! If he sends anything, return it all immediately, okay?”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
I didn’t understand. And it scared me.
No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t read the villain’s thoughts — and I was terrified that even if the path changed, the ending would stay the same.
That my story would still end in a tragic death.
“Nanny… I’m hungry.”
“Shall I bring the meal here?”
“Yeah. And my shawl too.”
“Yes, just a moment.”
I don’t love him.
So at least I won’t feel the same miserable despair the novel’s Yulia did.
But the pain of losing my family… that, I’d still feel.
My legs gave out, and I sank to the floor.
“I don’t want to die. I just want to live.”
I wasn’t asking for much!
Who said I wanted to fall in love with the male lead? Who said I wanted to be the heroine?
I just wanted a normal, peaceful life with my family.
So why did all this have to happen to me?
I thought if I stayed quiet, nothing bad would happen.
“I just… want to be loved. Normally. That’s all.”
With my face buried in my knees, I whispered to no one but myself.
