TNDHD 7

Chapter: 7

“Um.”

“Yes.”

Once we were left alone, I was the first to speak, breaking the silence that instantly took over the reception room. I might have been scolded for my behavior earlier, but after that kind of morning, I didn’t want to miss my first chance to talk with my husband.

“Would you like to rest a little longer before you go?”

Come to think of it, I had said something similar to him when he came to fetch me in Tesenaro. A month ago. My fiancé who had stepped down from the luxurious Stein family carriage and stood blankly at the mansion gate after greeting me.

He was now no longer my fiancé, but my husband.

He hadn’t come to see me like he did then, but still.

“Only if you’re not too busy.”

A brief silence passed.

“…Yes. Then just for a moment.”

Kagen repeated his earlier answer and sat back down in the chair.

A fresh pot of tea was poured with a soft clink. The aroma was sweeter than before. Warmth returned to the teacup, which had gone slightly lukewarm. I filled a pair of cups with the tea Judy had brought up, then floated a peach-colored blossom no bigger than my thumbnail.

“May I read that book later too? I’m curious about the rare book you managed to obtain.”

I felt a warmth that had been gathered in my head spreading gently throughout my body. Had the tea leaves been over-fermented? It felt almost like a mild intoxication rising.

Kagen looked into his cup as if doubting whether the flower petal was even edible, then quietly set the cup down.

“It won’t be a very interesting read. It’s written in old Elcon language and is quite difficult. It’s basically a chronicle written from a monster’s perspective, like a scripture.”

I felt a small sense of pride at the fact that I could understand Elcon language as well as other nobles, and that Kagen knew it too.

“Still, I’m curious. I want to read it too.”

Honestly, the content of the book didn’t matter. I just wanted to read something he had gone out of his way to obtain because he was interested in it.

“After Count Rijen finishes reading it, and after you’ve read it as well, Kagen.”

“Do as you wish.”

Watching him nod as if granting permission, I said proudly,

“Count Rijen seems to really admire you.”

And I admire you too. You really are a knight. A knight who protects people from all kinds of danger. I had always respected heroes devoted to duty and justice. I was proud that my husband was such a knight.

But Kagen didn’t look particularly moved by my praise. Instead, he looked at me quietly with slightly shadowed eyes before speaking.

“…It seems Jace is entertaining you.”

For a moment I thought it was a non sequitur, but soon I realized what he meant.

He must have been referring to when I had been laughing carelessly with my mouth open.

It was something I myself had slightly regretted, so I honestly admitted it, feeling embarrassed.

“I was a bit too informal, wasn’t I? I realized it a bit late. Count Rijen has a very cheerful personality… he felt like a mischievous younger brother, so it was just amusing…”

“He is twenty-three years old.”

A sharp correction cut me off before I could finish.

I slowly withdrew my faint smile and carefully studied his expression. It looked calm now, but was he angry?

“I’m sorry. I spoke disrespectfully about the count.”

My voice turned a bit dejected, as if I had been splashed with cold water after getting too excited.

“No, that’s not what I meant… There’s no need to apologize to me.”

Kagen told me not to apologize, but he couldn’t quite hide a small sigh. His eyes looked troubled. There was a clear sense of reproach.

“Are you feeling alright?”

So when he suddenly changed the topic, I was a bit taken aback.

“I wasn’t aware you were overexerting yourself.”

His reproachful gaze remained, unchanged.

“Before I came to your bedroom, I had resolved to be more careful and review my duties properly, but in the end I was careless. I should have been more meticulous in checking your condition. I shouldn’t have simply accepted your words that you were fine. I didn’t properly confirm your physical state and ended up… being overly harsh…”

And the object of his concern was completely off the mark.

“Please forgive me. It won’t happen again.”

Forgive him?

“No, it’s fine. I’m okay.”

I quickly waved my hands in strong denial.

I wasn’t in a position to hear such an elaborate apology. In fact, if anyone needed to apologize for last night, it was me. I hadn’t properly seen things through from beginning to end like Kagen had. I had done almost nothing and then collapsed asleep.

Besides, what did he mean by “meticulously checking”? What exactly was he planning to do?

I spoke energetically as if to prove a point.

“I feel perfectly fine now. Mila gave me a massage saying it would prevent muscle soreness. It worked amazingly. I actually feel better than yesterday.”

I had only said it to reassure him.

Kagen’s eyes began to waver.

“Was it that difficult? Muscle soreness is not something people usually—”

“No! That’s not it. At first, of course I felt some…”

I stopped myself mid-sentence.

Was this really something we should be discussing in broad daylight in such detail? Wasn’t talking about the night in the daytime taboo? No, more importantly, wasn’t muscle soreness from something like that already unusual enough?

“Ruwan.”

His eyes darkened further.

“I failed in my duty.”

A shadow of despair fell over his face, as if he were a craftsman who had built a wall to protect a precious master, only to realize too late that he had left out a single brick.

At that moment, I clearly understood something about him. That the scope of duty Kagen believed in was far broader and stricter than what was generally accepted in noble society.

“No, you did well.”

But I wanted to give him some consideration.

That he had been sincere and attentive enough last night. That as a new husband, he had done everything he reasonably could. That just witnessing what lay beneath his composed clothing had been enough to make one want to scream—it wasn’t his fault.

“I was just nervous, that’s all.”

Looking at his doubtful eyes, I said firmly,

“Let’s say I wasn’t properly prepared. It’s my fault.”

I didn’t even know why I felt the need to comfort him, but I did. Wasn’t it only fair to be a faithful wife to a loyal husband?

It was because I hadn’t properly expressed myself. It was my fault for only crying like an inarticulate beast and then falling asleep. I should have at least said something in appreciation for his efforts on our first night together. Why hadn’t Mila told me about this kind of thing?

“Kagen, you did wonderfully last night. You worked very hard…”

No, that sounds even stranger if I make it formal—let’s just be honest.

“I enjoyed it…”

“I should be going now.”

Suddenly Kagen stood up.

“Huh? Already?”

I quickly stood up too in surprise. The chair scraped back with a creak. Without even looking back, he left the reception room, his strides so long I would have had to run to keep up.

“Ka—ah!”

I tried to stop him, but I collided awkwardly due to my momentum.

“I’m sorry, I rushed—”

I lowered my head, rubbing my forehead where I had bumped into what must have been his shoulder blade or somewhere there. It didn’t hurt. I just wanted to hide my face.

For a brief moment, I wanted to crawl into a hole at the soft sigh above me. Then my hand, which had been rubbing my forehead, was taken and pulled toward him.

“Are you alright?”

Large hands cupped my cheeks, gently lifting my face.

Kagen was looking straight at me from right in front of me. Just like this, gazing quietly—last night, he had kissed me like this…

“M-my hair is just a little messy.”

I quickly made excuses, brushing my hair in an attempt to chase away the memory that kept surfacing.

His gaze slowly followed my face. His firm fingers brushed my forehead and cheeks, tucking away stray hairs. All the while, I could only look at him as if enchanted.

My heart was pounding. I had thought he had become cold and distant, a completely different person from last night, but the hand touching me was just as gentle as it had been then.

With a soft rustle, the hair by my ear loosened and fell over my shoulder.

“Here.”

Kagen held something out to me.

“You’ll need to tie it again.”

It was the golden ribbon that had decorated my hairband.

“Oh, thank you, Kagen.”

I took it, my face flushing. The moment our fingertips touched, my chest tightened with a ticklish sensation. Even though I was embarrassed, I didn’t want him to pull his hand away so quickly.

He asked me with a composed expression,

“Is there anything else you wanted to say to me?”

At his low whisper, I held my breath without realizing it, then exhaled.

“Not really… I didn’t have any particular reason.”

In truth, I had wanted to apologize for making him take care of me so awkwardly last night, but that also felt unnecessary to bring up again.

I had thought he might be angry with me, but instead he apologized, then suddenly ran away, stopped again, and even fixed my hair—a man who was hard to understand.

“I’ll see you off to the garden gate at least. We can take a walk.”

A tired laugh escaped me.

He’s my husband. Why am I so nervous?

“I’ll go alone.”

Kagen gave another curt reply. But before I could get lost in my thoughts again, he reached out, tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, and stepped back.

“We’ll walk together next time.”

I was left alone in the empty reception room and returned to my bedroom in a daze.

The chandelier in the ceiling reflected the sunlight filtering through the window, shimmering softly. I lay on the bed and stared at the view I had never grown tired of over the past month.

What was this feeling? I couldn’t describe this strange, fluttering unease.

In any case, I resolved once again that tonight I absolutely should not fall asleep first. Perhaps he wouldn’t come today, but tomorrow or in a few days—but still.