TNDHD 4

Chapter: 4

During the past three weeks since I got engaged to Kagan and came to stay in Weyriver, renowned tutors from various fields had taught me many things.

But strangely, the more I listened to this particular lesson, the more I felt the truth of the saying that ignorance is bliss. In the end, I went into the bedroom as stiff as a block of firewood, completely tense. A sense of duty to do well—and a faint embarrassment—wrapped around me.

Mila’s advice that I wouldn’t be happy from the very first day had steeled my resolve.

“Ah….”

But reality was different.

“Breathe, Lewan.”

Everything I had learned was instantly forgotten. But it didn’t matter. After all, even something as basic as breathing had to be encouraged and reminded by Kagan.

Kagan was not as violent as his imposing physique suggested. He soothed my entire body with reverent kisses and gentle touches, easing my tension. When he carefully caressed my lips like a fruit that bruises easily, then slipped his tongue through the parted gap, I had to be shocked that something I thought would feel unclean could instead become sweet enough to make me lose my mind.

It was an intensely devoted act.

With a body that looked like it could easily overpower and crush me, he opened me up with a tenderness that made my heart ache. The pain never lasted long. After a few overwhelming moments passed, all I could do was gasp under the rushing pleasure.

Pleasure that felt like it was lifting me to an impossibly high place continued through the night.

So this is why they call it making love…

For the time we held each other, it truly felt as if he loved and cherished me deeply.

It felt like an act of laying everything bare, trying to express everything he could through his naked body.

How could something like this even exist?

“Sorry…”

Why was he apologizing?

Like someone pulled out of violent waves, I lay exhausted and drenched, panting for breath. Kagan, apologetic, draped a blanket over my slumped shoulders.

“I didn’t intend to overdo it.”

His fingers gently brushed the hair stuck to my forehead, and the ticklish sensation made me almost laugh. But my throat was so raw and hoarse that no laughter came out—only a small cough.

“Cough.”

Sleepy. Tired. I can’t move at all. I should wash up, get dressed properly, and sleep…

But I couldn’t even lift a finger and slowly closed my eyes in his arms. The May night was mild, but my sweaty, cooling body felt a little chilly.

“I should add more firewood to the fireplace. Just a moment, Lewan.”

“Mm…”

I clung loosely to his chest. Staying like this felt best. I liked that he didn’t leave for his own room, that he held me with his warm body.

Back when my mother and father were still alive, our home had always been warm too. Even on pitch-black winter nights, there had been a spring-like coziness filling the house.

And now, having met a new family, I felt a hope blooming that I might be happy like that again.

With my now-not-so-small hand, I clutched Kagan’s arm as if hanging on. A man with arms so thick and solid that even my adult hand could barely wrap around them.

This man is my family. My husband.

“Lewan, you’ll be cold if you sleep like this.”

“Mm, good night…”

It was strange. We were different in body, status, and homeland, yet somehow we had become husband and wife… and become one like this.

It had been a long time since I slept without dreaming.

“Mila?”

Before I knew it, the surroundings were bright. The moment I saw Mila carrying a teapot filled with the fragrant scent of herbs, I startled and sat up.

“Ow…” I groaned. My back felt like it was going to break.

“Good morning, my lady,” said Mila with a grin as she placed the tray on the table. The way she addressed me had already changed overnight to “my lady.” I shyly adjusted my posture, smiling awkwardly.

“Try drinking this. It’s your favorite rooibos tea with plenty of Balonsan honey. It’ll bring your strength back right away.”

The room was warm like early summer. I noticed the pile of firewood stacked beside the fireplace.

So Kagan must have gotten up at some point and added more wood himself.

But the space beside me was empty. I hadn’t even noticed him leaving. When had he gone? Even after our rushed wedding and first night, he still started his day as diligently as usual.

I suddenly felt pulled back into reality and became a little embarrassed.

“Thank you for the tea. It smells wonderful.”

I accepted the tray while fixing my clothes. When I tried to sit properly, my thighs trembled. If I didn’t want others to see me walking unsteadily, I’d have to delay going out for a while.

I leaned toward the steam rising from the teacup to wake myself up. The sweet, heavy scent of honey made my mouth water. Compared to the cheap medicinal honey from Tesenna, this honey had a deeper, fresher fragrance.

Come to think of it, Kagan’s scent had felt like this too—like conifer trees in a winter forest, with a faint underlying sweetness…

I fidgeted with a pillow to hide my burning face. What was I even thinking about this early in the morning?

“Um, Mila.”

“Yes, my lady?”

“Did you straighten the bed while I was asleep?”

Including the part I was lying on.

“Oh, no, my lady,” she replied, waving her hands with a smile. “His Grace told us not to go anywhere near your room because you needed rest. I just came up on my own because I thought you should have something to eat.”

Kagan?

“As for the rest…” Mila’s rounded eyebrows moved playfully, as if she understood everything.

“Hehe. Straightening the bed is something His Grace does quite well. Especially for a newlywed husband overflowing with passion—don’t you think he’d manage all sorts of things? Who do you think taught him?”

I wish she wouldn’t talk.

I buried my face in the teacup, avoiding her amused gaze.

“Good, good. Drink up,” Mila encouraged warmly.

“I’ll prepare nourishing meals to restore your strength, so leave it to me. Spring in Weyriver gets dark early, you know. Hoho.”

From that moment on, perhaps I stopped blindly saying “yes” like an innocent child to Mila’s words.

Even though I shot her a slightly reproachful glance, her bright smile showed no sign of fading.

After a late brunch, I headed toward the corridor where guests were gathered. Wanting fresh air, I walked around the garden. The warm spring sunlight poured down over my head, and a round shadow followed at my feet like my puffed-up skirt.

“Hello, my lady!”

A small servant boy named Polly called out cheerfully from a distance. He seemed to be running an errand, carrying a basket as big as his torso.

“I just saw His Grace by the lake! He was with Prince Zeke!”

“Is that so?”

It seemed the duke was entertaining the guest, Prince Zeke.

“Thank you for telling me, Polly.”

He would probably go meet other guests as well.

“Anytime! Have a good day, my lady!”

Smiling brightly like sunshine, the boy waved enthusiastically as I watched him go. My mood lightened considerably.

About twenty guests were gathered in the central corridor—some of the visitors from nearby and distant territories. The wedding had ended yesterday, but festivities would continue for several more days.

Chandeliers already lit in broad daylight sparkled like crystal overhead. Fruits, desserts, and drinks with sweet-and-tart aromas were neatly arranged along long tables against the walls. A graceful string quartet played softly from somewhere.

It felt like a lively little ball.

“Oh my, the duchess has arrived!”

“Good afternoon, Duchess of Weyriver.”

“The lemon cake today is amazing. Do you like tangy desserts as well, Your Grace?”

Still unfamiliar with the title, I smiled shyly and approached the guests.

“I like all kinds of cake. I think I’ll choose the biggest slice.”

“May I claim the second biggest?”

“I’ll yield up to the third biggest to Countess Dubon.”

“Oh, how delightful!”

Even though I had no experience in high society, I had no discomfort hosting guests.

My parents often hosted wandering knights passing through the village—hungry, exhausted knights with swords at their hips and scars marking their rough skin. They were a completely different class from the elegant nobles in fine suits and dresses, but they were our family’s conversation partners.

As a child, I was never afraid of those rough guests.

I’m the master of this house, aren’t I?

I’m a noble, aren’t I?

As a child, I feared nothing. The saying that wealth of heart matters more than material wealth wasn’t entirely false for everyone. My small heart had been full of positivity and curiosity toward the world, and I said whatever I wanted. If not for my parents’ constant emphasis on manners, I might have grown up as a spoiled wild child.

Besides, hadn’t I recently been advised by Lady Harvard? She had scolded my earlier timidity in this great noble household.

“A person of high status should prefer arrogance over excessive humility, Lady Lewan. Especially in the social circles you will be entering.”

So there was no reason for me to shrink back because of my origins.

“Will you be personally preparing this winter’s banquet, Duchess of Weyriver?”

The noblewomen in the hall gathered around me like bees to honey-coated cake.