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Chapter 03
“Who do you mean? It’s me, dear. Your wife. The mistress of the Wiltson Ducal Estate. My name is Elfwin Wiltson.”
The name is pretty too.
I had meant to keep that last part to myself, but it slipped out before I realized it.
I shrugged my shoulders at Zekron and raised my brows dramatically once.
“No, you’re not Elfwin.”
There’s no way you are her.
Zekron looked at me with suspicious eyes.
A bit of stubbornness rose inside me.
As if he had ever paid attention to his wife in the first place.
To add a little explanation here, I originally adored Zekron and Veronica, the protagonists of Sheridan’s Praying Night.
I had been completely immersed in their love story and binge-read all five volumes of the novel in one go.
But things were different now.
Now that I had possessed the Duchess, who had slowly withered away in her loveless marriage with Zekron, I couldn’t simply like him unconditionally anymore.
Because I was Elfwin, and Elfwin was me.
Because this frail body felt pitiful.
Because these constantly frayed nerves felt pitiful.
Because the sight of myself slowly dying felt tragic.
“Why do you think I’m not Elfwin?”
“You’re acting like a completely different person. Even now, look at you. You normally—”
“That’s right.”
I cut him off sharply.
Snip.
“I normally never ate in the dining hall and always survived on tiny bowls of soup.”
“……”
“And despite this being my own home, I never once walked around comfortably in pajamas.”
Unlike you.
I deliberately glanced at the pajamas he was wearing.
“Ah, and actually, these aren’t things I personally remember. My maids told me. As you know, after falling ill this time, my memory seems to have been affected. Brain damage… remember?”
My body was in much worse condition than I had expected.
I had only talked a little, but I was already out of breath.
I paused to steady my ragged breathing.
Even then, our gazes remained locked in tense opposition.
His dark blue eyes flashed sharply.
“Losing your memory doesn’t change who you are.”
“You sound like you’ve met someone with amnesia before. Have you? Because I haven’t. I don’t really know since I have nothing to compare it to….”
Judging by his expression, I was sure of it.
He had never met anyone with amnesia besides me.
A small laugh escaped my lips.
“Maybe this is just an especially severe case of amnesia. One where I lost not only my memories, but my personality and everything else too.”
I wore an indifferent expression, as though I were discussing someone else’s story.
Zekron’s handsome face twisted mercilessly.
Though unfortunately, not even that expression could damage his good looks in the slightest.
Still, it was fine.
No matter what, I was ultimately still someone who appreciated beauty.
“I must have been mistaken. That expression just now—that was definitely Elfwin’s expression. The Elfwin who never listens to anyone else. The Elfwin who says whatever she pleases until the other person is forced into silence. The Elfwin who always ends up eating alone.”
“I’ve completely lost my appetite.”
Zekron abruptly rose from his seat.
Cold air seemed to trail behind him as he turned away.
Tch.
I bit my lip hard.
My nose stung, and it felt like tears would spill out at any moment.
The muscles in my cheeks trembled faintly.
But in the end, I endured it.
Because I had no tears left to shed over the back of a family member walking away coldly from me, or over a dining table where I sat alone.
I had already shed enough tears like that in my previous life.
Before I knew it, plates filled with various dishes had been neatly arranged in front of me.
Both my hands trembled as I cut into the roasted chicken breast.
Getting overly emotionally invested was always a problem.
If you empathized too much with a mother worrying about paying the tuition for her top-student older daughter’s elite private university, you ended up making the foolish decision to give up your own college education.
If you empathized too much with a coworker unfairly treated at work, you ended up fighting the team leader in their place and getting fired yourself.
‘And yet you still can’t fix that terrible habit, can you?’
I glared at the unfamiliar face reflected in the mirror.
I had empathized too much with the Duchess being ignored by her husband, and now the breakfast I had eaten that morning had upset my stomach enough to make me throw it all back up.
“Elfwin, you really are pitiful too.”
I spoke to the skinny woman in the mirror.
Her red hair, reminiscent of the summer sun, flowed all the way down to her waist. Against her pale white skin, the red looked even richer and the skin even fairer.
Within her deep eyes shimmered irises the color of fresh greenery, and the contrast between the red hair and green eyes created a vivid harmony of complementary colors.
Her small, delicate features didn’t leave a particularly strong impression.
But depending on the viewer, the striking contrast of white skin, red hair, and green eyes gave her a stubborn aura.
“So let’s do our best together, Elfwin Wiltson.”
I wanted to stop getting emotionally invested in others so easily and meddling unnecessarily.
But Elfwin was an exception.
Because she and I had become inseparable.
From now on, I intended to immerse myself even more deeply and fiercely into Elfwin’s emotions.
Going outside still seemed impossible in this body.
Even going from the third-floor bedroom to the first-floor dining hall left me breathless and made my legs shake.
‘For now, let’s just start by walking indoors.’
I only had five months left.
I intended to make full use of every precious moment.
Slowly, step by step, I would increase both my food intake and exercise until eventually…
I became healthy.
And I would survive.
I clenched both fists tightly and silently cheered myself on.
“You expect me to wear this? And these shoes too?”
But my determination quickly fizzled out.
Because of the clothes and shoes Kate and Judy had brought.
At the sight of the tightly cinched corset dress and heels that looked well over ten centimeters high, I was speechless.
Excuse me, I’m pregnant.
Still, I knew something clearly.
The maids were not at fault.
The real culprit deserving blame was the original owner of this body—Elfwin herself.
I bit my lip tightly and forced out a smile.
“Bring me clothes with looser fits and shoes with lower heels.”
“Huh?”
Kate and Judy’s eyes widened in shock.
Of course they did.
Every time I said something, they reacted like this.
“We… don’t have anything like that, Madam. Your tastes were very particular. You only ever ordered dresses that tightly emphasized the upper body and shoes with high heels.”
Though I suppose you wouldn’t remember that now.
Kate added the last part in a voice so tiny it was barely audible, wearing an awkward expression.
Honestly, I felt just as troubled.
“I think it’s time to change those tastes. As you know, I’m pregnant. My stomach is only going to get bigger from now on.”
“That’s true.”
“You’re right.”
Kate and Judy nodded vigorously.
They clearly wanted to show that they wholeheartedly agreed with me.
“I need new clothes and shoes. More comfortable ones. Contact the dressmaker and tell them to visit tomorrow.”
“Madam… but what about the money?”
“Money?”
What kind of question was that?
I was the Duchess. Why would I worry about money for clothes and shoes?
“There’s no allowance left.”
“You already took an advance on this month’s allowance last month, so there’s no money available right now.”
“What?”
Oh, my head…
A sharp pain stabbed through one side of my head.
Clenching my fist, I pressed my knuckles against my temple and spoke.
“So where did Elfwin—no, where did I spend the allowance I borrowed in advance?”
“Um… while preparing to visit the Imperial Capital, you bought clothes and shoes.”
Judy glanced at the dress and high heels they had just brought.
The maid hunched her shoulders and answered timidly, which made me feel sorry for her.
“Judy, none of this is your fault, so you don’t have to sound like a criminal. I know this is all that immature Elfwin’s fault.”
I deliberately separated myself from Elfwin and clearly pointed the blame at her.
Sigh…
An endless stream of sighs escaped me.
“Alright, let’s think this through. I need money immediately if I want to buy new clothes and shoes. But I don’t have any money on hand. So what should I do? Should I sell the clothes and shoes I bought last month?”
I asked Kate and Judy with complete seriousness.
I needed advice born from their experience.
Had Elfwin never asked for her maids’ opinions before?
The maids froze stiff for a long moment at my earnest question.
“Come now, I asked a question, so now it’s your turn to answer.”
I smiled brightly and urged them to respond.
At last, after much hesitation, Kate cautiously opened her mouth.
“Well… noble ladies don’t usually resell their clothing unless it’s for charity fundraising bazaars. If word spread that the Duchess was selling her used belongings because she needed money, it might damage your reputation.”
“Hm… yes, that does sound true.”
I nodded.
I had no desire to damage my own reputation.
“So with that in mind… perhaps you could take another advance for this month as well?”
“…Another advance?”
