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Chapter : 61
“Why is the library café’s bubble tea so good?”
Jiu said, walking lightly.
Noeul replied,
“The Oreo bubble tea there is the best.”
“Right? Once you’ve had theirs, other places just don’t hit the same.”
“Yeah.”
Noeul responded half-heartedly.
The look on Hansol’s face before the door closed came back to her.
She couldn’t quite read it.
He didn’t look angry, but he didn’t look sad either.
Was that natural?
Maybe Hansol really didn’t feel anything toward her anymore.
Maybe she wasn’t even on his mind.
Maybe he was too busy getting closer to other people.
“I went to a café once that sold basil tomato ade.”
“Yeah?”
“The picture made it look so good.”
“Yeah.”
“So I tried ordering it. Guess how it was?”
“Judging by how you’re talking… must’ve been awful.”
“Ahaha! No, not awful exactly, but it was weird.
Like… carbonated basil tomato pasta sauce.”
“Ew! Ugh, sorry, I feel sick just hearing that. Uuugh.”
“It wasn’t that bad~”
Noeul covered her mouth, pretending to gag.
Jiu lightly smacked her arm and told her to stop.
Noeul chuckled and lowered her hand.
Was Hansol still hanging out with the others?
Probably. He’d get along with them quickly — he had that kind of personality.
Usually cool and aloof, but sometimes unexpectedly goofy,
like when he did impressions of cartoon characters.
Who wouldn’t like someone like that?
A pretty girl who’s also funny — no one could dislike her.
Noeul and Jiu finally arrived at the café.
“You’re not getting anything to drink?”
“Nah. I already had coffee before class.”
“So you really just came for me?”
“Yeah. If you’re that grateful, buy me a madeleine or something.”
“No way~.”
Noeul snorted.
Why had she come with Jiu, anyway?
Was it out of spite toward Hansol?
Like a childish, ‘I’ll leave you here and go without you’ kind of revenge?
Or had she wanted Hansol to follow her — to say ‘Wait, I’ll go too’?
Did she just want the reassurance that Hansol valued their friendship over others?
Or maybe she wanted Hansol to feel a little sense of crisis —
to realize that if she wasn’t careful, Noeul and Jiu might get closer.
That while Hansol had been busy bonding with others,
Noeul might slip further away.
Or maybe… she just didn’t want to be left with no one.
Maybe she followed Jiu because she couldn’t stand being completely alone.
“Wanna stamp your coupon card?”
“Nope. Don’t have one.”
“What? But you come here all the time.”
“I’m too lazy to make one.”
“Heeey, are you some kind of rich girl? Daddy’s loaded or something?”
“I just didn’t make a card, that’s all.”
“But still~ ten stamps and you get a free drink!”
“Those kinds of deals are for humble folks like you.”
“Oh, come on~.”
They sat down, waiting for the drinks to come out.
Could she and Hansol really drift apart like this?
Become just like any other classmates —
occasionally bumping into each other in class or at the lab,
saying hi, joking a bit,
drinking together with a group once in a while,
and mostly just chatting in the group chat.
Maybe that’s how it should’ve been from the start.
It didn’t make sense for someone like Hansol to be her closest friend anyway.
If that’s how it was going to be, why hadn’t it been that way from the beginning?
Why now?
Why pretend to be her closest friend all this time, only to pull away now?
Hansol had to know how that would make Noeul feel.
Wasn’t it too cruel?
…But even if it was cruel — what could she do?
She’d just have to accept it.
Maybe she had relied too much on Hansol all along.
This kind of day was bound to come eventually.
Why had she been so unguarded?
Why had she believed they’d always be best friends?
She should’ve been ready to stand alone again.
It’s fine.
She can still learn how — that’s one thing Noeul’s always been good at.
“Hey, look at this.”
Jiu said suddenly.
Noeul looked at her.
“…What are you doing?”
“Can you see it? You can’t see my pupils, right?”
Jiu rolled her eyes back so only the whites showed.
“Yeah.”
“Really? Do I look like a ghost? Scary?”
“Why do you use your face like that?”
“Hehehe, what~ it’s funny!”
Noeul folded her arms and shook her head.
“Hey.”
Jiu called her again.
Noeul looked up.
“You’re spacing out again, huh.”
“…Me? I was spacing out?”
Noeul stuttered slightly.
Jiu pouted.
She thought she’d covered it well, but apparently not.
Her wandering thoughts must’ve shown.
Jiu said,
“When you’re hanging out with me, you should focus on me. Stop daydreaming.”
“I wasn’t daydreaming.”
That was a lie.
Noeul felt a pang of guilt — because she really had been distracted.
It was like going to an expensive restaurant with a friend who’s treating you,
but filling up on kimbap beforehand.
You couldn’t exactly admit it.
You’d just have to lie — ‘Wow, I’m starving! Everything looks amazing!’
That’s what Noeul was doing now.
How could she admit that her head was full of other thoughts,
that even while sitting here with Jiu, her mind was elsewhere?
She even felt bad for assuming Jiu wouldn’t notice.
But Jiu had caught on — to every shallow, half-hearted reply.
Noeul tried to shake Hansol out of her mind.
Then Jiu asked,
“So why didn’t Hansol come with us?”
It was like she knew Hansol was the reason Noeul seemed off.
Maybe it did seem strange, the two of them not sitting together.
Maybe she’d seen the brief look they shared before Noeul left.
Jiu usually seemed clueless,
but every so often she’d surprise you with how perceptive she was.
Noeul said,
“I dunno. Looked like he was talking with the others.”
“Didn’t seem like a fun conversation though.”
“Well… it’s not like he has to be with us all the time.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jiu blinked wide, round eyes.
Noeul faltered for a moment.
“Just… maybe sometimes he wants to hang out with other people too.”
“Why? We’re his closest friends.”
“…Even if you’re closest, it can still happen.”
“Hm… I guess so…”
Jiu’s logic made sense.
Close friends naturally stuck together —
but Noeul’s own tangled thoughts were making her words sound strange.
Then Jiu asked,
“You and Hansol didn’t fight or anything, right?”
“There’s nothing to fight about.”
“Nothing happened?”
“No.”
Jiu nodded,
but she still looked unconvinced,
quietly watching Noeul’s face.
Noeul pretended not to notice.
Hansol stared for a while at the door Noeul had walked out of.
It seemed like his plan had worked.
Noeul looked like she’d finally stopped worrying about him.
And so, Jiu and Noeul went off together — without him.
Should’ve done this sooner, he thought.
If he was really Noeul’s friend — truly her friend —
then he should’ve helped her get along with others,
not kept her all to himself.
She’d always fussed over him because he’d said he didn’t have friends,
because he’d claimed he only enjoyed hanging out with her.
Of course, he knew Noeul liked spending time with him too —
she hadn’t helped him out of pity.
But still, he’d taken advantage of her kindness,
used it as an excuse to monopolize her.
That wasn’t what real friends did.
Until now, he’d pretended not to notice.
Telling himself,
We’re just friends, what’s weird about that?
But deep down, he knew.
If a guy spends every day glued to one girl —
no surprise if he never gets a girlfriend.
That wasn’t real friendship.
That was pseudo-friendship.
If he knew Noeul liked Jiu,
then he definitely shouldn’t stand in the way.
“So, like… imagine a pearl covered in dirt.
You’ve finally scraped all the dirt off.
The point is — the pearl was there all along.”
“If I were you, I’d have lost weight and gotten jaw surgery too.
And yeah, I’d have kept it secret in college. Why tell people?”
“You’re not some looks-obsessed freak.
You’re just normal.”
That’s what Noeul had said to him.
Words he’d wanted to hear his whole life —
but no one had ever said them.
Noeul never judged people.
She had no prejudice, no filters, no rigid standards.
How many people like that exist in the world?
And what were the odds he’d meet one?
She was someone Hansol should keep by his side forever —
someone he wanted to stay close and comfortable with, for a long, long time.
What was the closest, most comfortable kind of relationship?
The first thing that popped into his head was a couple.
Dating Noeul.
Honestly.
Truly honestly —
It wasn’t that he’d never thought about it.
Everyone does, don’t they?
Even the closest guy–girl friends who say,
“We’re basically siblings!”
They’ve all wondered at least once —
‘What if we dated?’
If your affection for someone is almost 100 out of 100 as a person,
can your romantic feelings for them really be zero?
Can the two be completely separate?
Anyone who says yes is lying to themselves.
Still, Hansol hadn’t taken that thought seriously.
He’d brushed it off with,
‘What’s the point of imagining something that’ll never happen?’
But really —
was a romantic relationship truly the closest, most comfortable kind?
One that could last a lifetime?
He was only twenty-one.
How many people stay with their first college relationship forever?
Usually, it’s three months of passion,
three months of fighting,
three months of settling into routine,
three months of losing interest,
three months of staying together out of habit,
and three months of being too scared to break up.
Then, finally, they do.
Even while dating, could they really be “the closest and most comfortable”?
Probably not.
There are things you can’t say because you’re dating,
moments that become awkward because you’re dating.
Things that wouldn’t have been awkward between friends.
So maybe — as cliché as it sounds —
real closeness and comfort come from friendship.
True friendship.
Friends don’t have to break up.
Friends can say anything.
Friends can relax together without tension.
Hansol decided —
he wanted to be friends with Noeul for life.
Like siblings in spirit.
What was his business would be hers,
and hers would be his.
He felt that kind of friendship was stronger
than any relationship — even family or romance.
That’s why he was trying to figure out
how a real friend should act toward Noeul.
Bzz—
Bzz—
Hansol’s phone vibrated.
[Jiu]
Jiu was calling.
He picked up.
“Hey.”
“Hansol~ what’re you doing tonight?”
“Me? Uh…”
His mind started spinning fast.
If she was asking about tonight,
she probably wanted to hang out.
And if they hung out, it’d be the three of them —
Jiu, Noeul, and him.
Wouldn’t it be better for him to stay out of it?
“I’m going to work out. Haven’t been lately, so I have to go today.”
“Really? Aww… I was gonna say we should grab drinks with Noeul tonight.”
Just as he expected.
“Then you two go without me. The three of us can hang next time.”
“Hmm… okay, fineee. Have fun working out. See you tomorrow~.”
“Yeah.”
He hung up.
…If the three of them hung out,
talked, laughed —
it would’ve been fun.
Instead, he’d probably spend the night alone in his room,
while Noeul and Jiu had a great time together.
A sudden emptiness opened up inside him,
cold wind blowing right through.
No, he told himself.
Don’t feel lonely.
You’re doing the right thing for Noeul.
