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Chapter 49
When You Really Want Something
Ten days ago, Daniel left without even saying goodbye. Frida only learned from Baron Boild that he had gone hunting. After telling Frida to go back to her room, he suddenly left the castle.
At first, she tried to understand. Maybe something urgent happened. Maybe he didn’t have time to tell her. Because that morning, there had definitely been new feelings growing between them. She remembered how hot Daniel’s hands felt when he touched her. Her heart had beat so fast she could hardly breathe.
She waited all evening for him to return, excited and nervous. She believed he would come back and explain everything. Daniel was polite, so he would definitely tell her the truth. She never doubted it.
But three days passed. Then four. And still, he did not return.
Only then did she slowly realize the truth—
Her husband had rejected her.
And the reason… was because she had asked if they could have a child.
What a fool I am.
What man would want a child with someone like her? Of course Daniel had been shocked and left.
“Still… even so… he could have at least said goodbye…”
Plip. Tears fell onto her blue dress. The baroness, startled, quickly took out a handkerchief and wiped Frida’s tears.
“Why are you crying? Are you feeling sick? Should I call a doctor?”
Frida waved her hands with a forced smile.
“No, no… it’s nothing. I just… somehow…”
It was nothing. She knew from the beginning that she meant nothing to her husband. So why was she crying like this? She knew this marriage was forced by imperial order. She promised herself she wouldn’t expect anything. She decided to just work hard, without wanting anything more.
She told herself: Don’t be weak. Don’t be greedy. Just do what you can.
So why did one rejection make her so sad? Even though she knew it was foolish, her tears wouldn’t stop. They only fell harder, dripping down her skirt.
“I—I don’t know… why… why I’m like this… hic… h-heuk…”
At last, Frida lowered her head and cried. The baroness hugged her tightly and patted her back.
“It’s okay. Cry if you want. Everyone has moments like this. Let it out—cry as much as you need.”
Frida cried so hard that her eyes turned red. Many memories flashed through her mind, each one painful.
Three years ago, the long carriage ride to the duchy. Her dizzy head, dry throat, aching body. She wanted to rest, but she held it in because she needed to bring unconscious Daniel home as fast as possible.
After arriving at the duchy, everything was uncomfortable. The untrained servants didn’t know anything. The castle was dirty, the food was bad, the nights were dark and cold.
Still, Frida woke up before everyone else every morning and worked harder than anyone. Until Daniel woke, she had to protect this land. Even if something happened to her, she wanted to prepare things so the others could live on safely.
She only did what she had to do. So why did it all feel so painfully sad now?
As Frida sobbed, Baroness Boild brought a chair and sat in front of her. She gently held Frida’s hands.
“Before I married, I used to keep Countess Chamberlain company as her talking partner. She was strict, but she always said talking honestly makes the heart feel lighter. Starting today, I’ll be your talking partner, Madam. Tell me everything.”
She wiped the rest of Frida’s tears with a smile.
“I know people here don’t trust us yet. You must worry that anything you say to me might reach the Empress Dowager, right?”
“That’s… not exactly…”
“It’s fine. I know. Then how about trusting this child instead?”
She placed a hand on her still-small pregnant belly.
“I’m thirty-eight. This child will probably be my only one. I’ll swear on this precious baby I’m carrying—your secrets will be safe.”
“B-Baroness…”
“Call me Matilda. You’re the duchess; it’s fine for you to say my name.”
Frida sniffled and stared at Matilda. She looked so warm and sincere that Matilda couldn’t help but smile.
“So? Will you still not trust me?”
“N-no… I do. I trust you.”
Embarrassed, Frida blew her nose loudly. The crying stopped, and she began to feel foolish. But Matilda’s offer—talking honestly—tempted her. She felt the baroness might understand her better than Muriel could.
“I… Matilda…”
“Yes?”
“I think… without realizing it… I expected something.”
“Expected?”
Frida nodded slowly.
“I wanted a normal married life. Walking in the garden with my husband, talking with him, and maybe… having a beautiful child. Even though I said it wasn’t possible, I still dreamed of it. But my husband had no such thoughts, and I… I was greedy alone.”
Before the wedding, her mother had warned her:
“Frida, always think of your health first. And if life becomes too hard, you can always come back home.”
She wanted to go back so many times. But she knew if she did, she’d be seen as a sick person forever. So she dedicated herself to the duchy.
It wasn’t for anyone else—it was for herself. She wanted her life to mean something.
But deep down, she also hoped for praise.
“All the work I did for the duchy… I did it because I wanted to. But I still wanted my husband to notice. To acknowledge me as his real wife.”
“Oh, Madam… that’s not greed. That’s natural.”
Matilda held her hands tightly.
“I’ve heard how much you’ve done. Even that huge herb field on the hillside—you created that, right? Hardworking mistresses like you are rare.”
Even Stefan had been shocked after seeing it.
“You deserve recognition. The duke should be grateful to you.”
Matilda could guess what Frida truly wanted. Duke Richard was strict, disciplined, and treated women with perfect distance. He had lived his whole life on battlefields. How could he understand a woman’s heart?
With such a bright, pretty, smart wife, he should feel grateful every day. How dare he make her cry?
Matilda gently lifted Frida’s face and wiped every tear.
“Trust me, Madam. I’ll make the duke kneel at your feet.”
Just wait, Duke Richard. Soon, you’ll be following your wife around like a loyal puppy. The fire of determination burned fiercely in Matilda Agnes Boild’s eyes.
Late at night, campfires crackled through the forest. Heinrich stared seriously at Daniel, who sat ten steps away, sharpening his sword beside a tent.
Even while staring at Daniel, Heinrich somehow grabbed Dominic by the collar as he tried to walk past.
“Dominic, I’ve been thinking.”
Dominic struggled to escape Heinrich’s grip.
“Stop thinking. No one wants you to.”
Heinrich, a noble-born knight with the strength of a wild boar, squeezed harder until Dominic gave up with a sigh.
“I’m sure Daniel has problems with that Harkbon woman.”
“Oh, for—! This is why the country is a mess. A noble shouldn’t talk like that.”
“What?”
“She’s the Duchess Richard! Learn how to address someone’s wife!”
Heinrich pulled Dominic down to sit beside him and stared with burning curiosity.
“You and Daniel keep taking that woman’s side. Interesting…”
“Wh-what?! Nothing’s interesting!”
Dominic edged away from Heinrich, whose blue eyes gleamed like a madman’s.
“I saw something that morning.”
That morning? Dominic frowned as Heinrich smirked at Daniel.
“He definitely got rejected by her. Daniel doesn’t know anything about women. He probably tried something clumsily and got turned down. He must’ve run away because he was embarrassed.”
He was crazy—but sometimes disturbingly perceptive.
Dominic sprang to his feet to escape and quickly hurried over to Daniel. Daniel finished oiling his sword, sheathed it, and pulled on his cloak.
“Where are you going?”
“The wolves sound strange.”
“I already warned the guards. We’ve got enough experienced men here. No need to worry.”
Daniel didn’t insist. He just sat on a rock. Dominic dropped down beside him with a heavy sigh.
“If you’re not trying to kill all the animals in this mountain, maybe we should return to the castle now. Even that crazy ‘flower deer’ noticed something’s wrong.”
Dominic tossed a log into the fire. Flames shot upward, casting wild shadows across Daniel’s calm face.
“So you do know. Then why am I the only one confused?”
“You’re not confused at all. You just don’t want to admit it.”
Dominic threw another log into the fire. Sparks burst upward, just like Dominic’s frustration.
“What are you so scared of?”
Daniel, now mature and quiet, was infuriating.
“Why have you been tearing your hair out for ten days?”
He never complained, never bragged, never explained himself—just kept everything locked inside.
“Say something! You’ll drive people crazy!”
The Empress Dowager—what a terrifying old fox. She messed up Daniel so badly that even at twenty-eight, he still acted like this.
“Frida… said she wants to have my child.”
Dominic froze.
“What? But she can’t have children… right?”
If she could… then this was serious.
“It’s funny, isn’t it? One woman searches for a child that doesn’t exist, while another openly wants to have that child.”
This wasn’t funny—it was a serious problem.
Wait. This meant… Daniel actually did something.
Dominic let out a hollow laugh.
“You’re overthinking it because you care about her. You don’t even know if she can have a child or not. Why think so far ahead?”
Dominic poked the fire. Sparks flew up again.
In the flames, Frida’s pale face appeared in Daniel’s mind—smiling softly at him. Even in the dark, the memory was too bright.
“Today’s Frida is confessing to today’s Duke—‘I like you.’”
Just imagining her voice made his ears ring.
“Just give her your heart. What’s so hard about it?”
Dominic’s voice echoed.
“What if…”
Daniel’s eyes glowed red in the firelight—full of fear and longing.
“What if I really… end up wanting her?”
