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Chapter 56
Maybe because it was evening, the lobby was almost empty. Just one or two students crossed through every now and then.
The sun had begun to set earlier these days—by 6 PM, it was already getting dark.
The sound of Noeul’s typing faded in the quiet lobby.
Noeul lifted his eyes from the laptop and looked at Hansol.
Hansol looked like he might just sink right into the floor.
Noeul spoke first.
“Seriously, what’s going on with you.”
“…….”
“You don’t have to force yourself to talk… I just don’t want you to feel stuck.”
Hansol whispered:
“…Will you still be my friend? Even if I’m ugly?”
“I said I would. You asked me this last time too.”
“…….”
There are answers you only need to hear once—
and answers you need to hear over and over again.
For Hansol, this question was the latter.
Even so, he hadn’t wanted to ask again.
He knew how pathetic it sounded.
So instead of asking others, he tried to convince himself:
Would you want to be friends with someone ugly? People are all the same. You don’t want that either. So why expect others to? And what good does worrying do? You’re pretty now. You worked so hard for that. Didn’t you want to stop having thoughts like these? Then drop the question already.
He lived like that.
Noeul said:
“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. It’s your choice.
But… sometimes, when you say it out loud, it turns out not as bad as it is in your head.
It might actually make things easier.”
“…….”
Would it though?
That only applies when the thing you’re hiding is something someone can understand.
If Hansol told him this, how would Noeul see him?
He wouldn’t just think Hansol used to be ugly—
He might question Hansol’s whole personality.
Everything Hansol had said—everything they had shared—might start to feel fake to him.
Hansol wanted to live as the person he was now:
Hansol, who shaped beauty through effort.
Hansol, who was honest about what he wanted.
Hansol, who didn’t flaunt it.
Hansol, who saw through people.
He wanted to believe he could live as that person forever.
But that was naive.
There were people who knew the old Hansol.
People who could reappear anytime.
Like Junhee just did.
If the truth was going to come out anyway, maybe saying it himself would at least look honest.
At least a little brave.
Hansol moved his lips.
Maybe Noeul would understand.
He knew Hansol’s pain.
Maybe he’d understand why Hansol lied.
Maybe the friendship would be damaged—but still remain.
Hansol met Noeul’s eyes directly.
And said:
“…I got plastic surgery.”
Silence.
Noeul’s expression didn’t give anything away.
Everything had already spilled.
Five words—and everything would change.
Noeul finally spoke.
“Okay. Good for you.”
Hansol blinked.
“I mean, I can’t even tell where you did it. That means it turned out well, right?”
Hansol hesitated.
That wasn’t enough.
Noeul didn’t understand the scale of it.
So Hansol continued:
“When I was in high school, I weighed 30 kilos more than now.
There wasn’t a uniform that fit me.
I had double jaw surgery. They shaved off a lot of bone. The surgeon said it could be dangerous. But I told him to do it. I said if I couldn’t be pretty, I’d rather die.”
Noeul thought for a moment, then asked:
“So… why are you telling me this now?”
“Junhee went to school with me. Even if it’s not her, someone would’ve eventually told you. I thought it’d be less humiliating if you heard it from me first.”
Noeul nodded slowly.
“So you’ve been stressed about this for days? Afraid you’d be found out?”
“…Yeah.”
“And you’re telling me now because you really can’t hide it anymore?”
“…Yeah.”
Another nod.
“Okay. Then that’s that?”
“…What?”
“You said it. So your problem’s solved, right?”
“…No. I still need to know what you think.”
“What I think?”
Hansol nodded.
“About how you completely changed yourself.
And how you’ve been pretending you were always like this.”
Noeul went quiet.
Hansol knew there was still more he needed to confess.
So he forced himself to continue:
“I took diet drugs too. The ones that suppress appetite. Hard. The kind that cause hallucinations. I used them for months because I couldn’t stop binge eating otherwise. Even now… when I gain even one or two kilos, I panic. Sometimes… I still take a pill or two.”
Silence again.
The cold tension settled between them.
After a long time, Noeul spoke.
“You thought I’d be mad, right?”
“…Yeah.”
Noeul exhaled lightly.
“I mean… I’m not. I’m not disappointed either.”
Hansol almost said liar—because how could he not be?
But Noeul continued:
“The only thing I feel is… kind of… relieved?”
Hansol blinked.
“…Relieved?”
Noeul laughed stupidly.
“I thought you were perfect, you know? So finding out you’re not… kinda makes me happy. Like—oh, he’s human too. And now I have something to tease you about for the rest of your life.”
Hansol just stared.
Noeul kept talking:
“Also, I do still like you. You’re still honest. You’re being honest right now. And you’re still pretty.
And wise? Eh. I actually never thought you were that wise.”
He snorted, and Hansol almost laughed.
Warmth spread inside Hansol’s chest.
But he still wasn’t done.
“If Junhee hadn’t shown up, I would’ve hid it forever. I only said it now because I got scared. Like… confessing for a lighter sentence.”
“What sentence? You didn’t commit a crime.”
“…It feels like one.”
“Well, it’s not. And even if you were ugly before—why would that make me stop being your friend?”
Hansol swallowed.
“…You say that, but you’d be shocked. You’d be disgusted.”
“No. Actually… I think I like you more now.
Because now I kind of relate.”
Hansol stared.
No way.
Noeul didn’t know how bad it was.
If he saw it—truly saw it—everything would change.
Hansol spoke carefully.
“…Then… come to my place.”
