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Chapter 11
“Yes. I’m perfectly fine.”
“You don’t look well.”
“…It’s just—yes. I’m fine.”
“Do your injuries hurt?”
“No. Thanks to your excellent treatment….”
The conversation did not come to an end. This wouldn’t do. I quickly found the books and placed them into Sir Costance’s hands. He quietly looked down at the four books resting in his arms.
“These are the books you were looking for, correct?”
I was about to return to my seat when Sir Costance hastily grabbed my wrist.
“Vivi.”
There was something strange about his expression.
It was bad enough that I had made a spectacle of myself this morning, but my responses had also been insincere. He must have completely lost all affection for me. Even if Sir Costance were to point out my rudeness here, I would have nothing to say in my defense.
Yes, this was what I had wanted. If we continued to avoid each other like this, everything would be resolved.
‘Then I’ll be able to work comfortably again.’
…It was certainly what I had wished for, so why did my heart feel so heavy?
I wanted to apologize. I wanted to thank him for yesterday and say I was sorry for misunderstanding him. I wanted to ask him not to resent me too much.
“Um, Sir Costance….”
“I’m sorry.”
“Pardon?”
The words that came from his lips shattered my expectations. His hand, still gripping my wrist, trembled.
Soon, even that slight strength faded. His hand gently enveloped mine without force.
“I must have done you wrong, Vivi. I wish to apologize.”
“…Apologize?”
Sir Costance had done nothing wrong.
“Or is there something about me that displeases you? If you tell me, I will correct it at once.”
“No, Sir Costance.”
“If that is not the case… then is it because of what happened yesterday?”
Good heavens. Even his voice had begun to shake.
“Sir Costance, please calm down—”
“My judgment was poor. No matter how injured and intoxicated you were, I should not have taken you to a hotel.”
“Sir Costance.”
“I only wanted you to be comfortable. You seemed so dizzy, Vivi… but I suppose this is merely my excuse.”
Footsteps echoed from afar.
‘Oh no.’
Instinctively, I knew Julia had come looking for me.
“Vivi. It may be my selfishness, but if you would only forgive my actions—mmph!”
“Haha. Sir Costance. This is a library, remember? Please keep your voice down. All right?”
I hurriedly covered his mouth. He blinked in surprise and stared at me.
“Oh? So you were here, Vivi… and Sir Costance?”
Julia appeared just in time, glancing back and forth between us.
“Julia. Yes. Sir Costance was looking for some books, so I helped him.”
I calmly removed my hand from his mouth.
“Really? Did you find everything for him?”
“Yes. Sir Costance, please let me know if you need anything else.”
Then I gently pushed Julia forward. Caught off guard, she moved with me while examining my face suspiciously.
“Vivi.”
“Yes?”
“What were you doing with Sir Costance?”
“Well… I suppose he was apologizing.”
“Apologizing?”
After a moment of silence, Julia gasped.
“So Sir Costance really was angry. Did he forgive you?”
“No.”
“If you show him your sincerity, he’ll forgive you. So don’t look so down.”
At her words, I couldn’t bring myself to smile.
* * *
I finished tidying up the empty reading room. Once I moved the book return box in the corridor, my work for the day would be done.
“Hm?”
A white note was attached to the top of the return box.
When you finish work, please come to ‘Atlantis’ on Betanga Street No. 13. I will be waiting for you there, Vivi.
The handwriting was neat and elegant.
The person who left it was undoubtedly Sir Costance. He visited the library daily, so he knew all about my duties.
Before anyone could see it, I quickly crumpled the note and slipped it into my pocket.
“Vivi. You have the key to the reading room, right?”
The director stepped out, adjusting his coat.
“Oh, yes!”
“When you’re done, make sure to lock the door. And check that all the lights are off.”
“Of course. Have a safe trip.”
After he left, I was truly alone in the library. I switched off the corridor lights one by one. Darkness settled in, accompanied by a hollow silence.
The senior staff said it was frightening to be left alone in the library. But strangely, what I felt most was emptiness. If I continued living so diligently, what would remain for me?
‘…How long must I live in constant anxiety?’
From afar, the clock tower chimed the hour.
Enough stray thoughts. It was time to close up.
After locking the main doors, I fingered the note in my pocket.
‘Atlantis….’
It was the most famous café in town. Its spacious interior and colorful floral decorations made it especially popular among the women of the village.
At a fork in the road, I stopped. To the right was the café. To the left was the road home.
Should I… meet Sir Costance?
Wouldn’t it be all right to at least talk?
‘No. I’m afraid of everything he might say.’
Especially after what happened this morning.
He would continue the apology he had been unable to finish earlier.
I couldn’t forget the tremor in his voice. Nor did I know how I should respond to his apology.
Did he even have a reason to apologize to me? If I didn’t wish to maintain a relationship, I could simply ignore him.
If I were an ordinary woman, I would have run straight to Atlantis—overjoyed by his kindness, smiling all day long.
But my feet, which had lifted from the ground, carried me down the path to the left.
* * *
Several days passed. The wind was colder than usual.
Today, Sir Costance visited the library again. Even while reading, he occasionally glanced in my direction.
“I suppose Sir Costance must be very angry.”
His gaze was so intense that Julia and the senior staff tried to comfort me during the break.
“I heard you even vomited in front of him. Why not give him a gift? Though no matter what you give him, it probably won’t satisfy him.”
“Yes.”
I let the senior’s words go in one ear and out the other. I no longer wished to be entangled with Sir Costance. Sitting at my desk, I quietly worked through my backlog.
“Vivi!”
Julia called out softly.
“Now’s your chance! It’s the perfect time to apologize!”
She beckoned to me and nudged my back, pointing toward Sir Costance. What unnecessary meddling.
“Please let me handle it myself.”
“But you’re not doing anything!”
That’s because Sir Costance isn’t angry.
“Vivi. I know you’re scared, but it’s best to clear things up with him. All right?”
Her sincere concern put me in a difficult position. If this continued, it would only grow more exhausting.
“May I borrow this book?”
A calm voice sounded above me.
“……”
“……”
The person in question had appeared. Julia and I froze upon seeing Sir Costance. Recovering first, Julia nudged my arm.
“O-Oh. A loan?”
“Yes.”
I accepted the book he held out.
“I-I’ll check it out for you.”
Was he not going to ask about what happened before? Or was he truly angry and unwilling to speak with me privately anymore?
‘Hm?’
Then I examined the book he handed me. It was a dictionary. Dictionaries could not be borrowed—not only from our library but from any library.
Anyone who frequented libraries would know that.
“Um, Sir Costance….”
“Please speak, Vivi.”
“I’m sorry. Dictionaries cannot be borrowed.”
“Is that so?”
He spoke as if it were of no consequence.
“Yes. However, if you request it from the director, you can fill out a special loan application. Shall I call him for you?”
“That won’t be necessary. Instead, could you return it to the shelf? I’ve forgotten where I took it from.”
“Of course. That’s my job.”
I accepted the dictionary with an awkward smile. Now that his business was concluded, I hoped he would leave the reading room quickly.
As if reading my mind, Sir Costance did exactly that.
Without realizing it, I stared blankly at the door he had exited through.
“How timid.”
Julia clicked her tongue at my reaction.
“I’ll go return the dictionary.”
I stood and walked toward the appropriate shelf. As I did, I noticed a piece of paper tucked between its pages. It looked like a banknote.
Had he forgotten it there by mistake?
‘…This is.’
It wasn’t an ordinary bill. Though small in denomination, it was immensely valuable—a commemorative note issued to celebrate the peace that followed the war. Only a limited number had been printed, making it extremely rare.
To think I would see one in person.
As I examined it in fascination, I noticed Sir Costance’s handwriting.
I wish to apologize to you in person. I will wait at ‘Atlantis’ on Betanga Street No. 13 until you come.
Ah… what a predicament.
