USML 36

Chapter 36

However, ever since then, a question I hadn’t dared to ask Evan kept dominating my thoughts.
What if what Evan said was true?
Everything I had done, justified as being for his sake, would turn out to be meaningless—only causing him pain.

I rubbed my forehead with my palm and let out a sigh. I didn’t even know what to think.
“Ha… let’s work, work.”

Forcing myself to shake off my wandering thoughts, I picked up the documents Kaian had left for me. Focusing on work allowed me, even if briefly, to escape reality.

I lowered my gaze and examined the papers.
“The greenhouse construction is nearly complete. Has the payment been made?”
“Yes, Robert said he took care of it.”

I paused at the name Robert and stared at the empty space as if expecting him to appear.
‘He’s got the department head’s attention.’

No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t understand why Robert would confess to me without actually liking me. I furrowed my brows, lost in thought.
“What could the reason be?”

“What did you say?”
Kaian tilted his head at my muttering.
“Nothing.”

I waved my hand dismissively and moved on to the next document.

The next document was the import and cultivation permit for the seeds from the royal palace.
“The royal palace has granted permission to import and cultivate Anima seeds. That’s a relief.”
“Yes.”
“Oh, has Salis Kingdom replied yet?”
“I translated and submitted the last document.”

I glanced up; Kaian was standing behind me with his hands clasped behind his back, lingering by the desk as if to guard it until I finished reviewing the papers.

I placed the stack of documents to the corner and opened the final one.
But… huh? That’s strange.

“Kaian, maybe I’m dyslexic—or is there something wrong with my eyesight?”

I brought the document close to my face and read it carefully.

Kaian’s expression seemed to say, What nonsense is she talking about? He unfolded his clasped hands and tapped the paper lightly with his index finger.
“Are you saying the translated document is mistranslated?”
“No, it’s not a translation issue… but… what is this?”

Was my eyesight really failing me? I pushed the paper away, leaned back, and read it again.

“The Emperor has invited the Salis ambassador to the Empire and entrusted the Cent tour of the delegation to the Feard trade company…?”
“Yes.”
“And the ambassador requested to personally inspect the sand…?”
“Yes.”

Kaian touched his earlobe and replied nonchalantly. I skimmed the documents in front of me quickly.
“And the person in charge is Dustin…?”

The more I read, the more incredulous my voice became.

I knew it. I knew the Salis Kingdom wouldn’t easily grant permission.
Also, the trade company importing Anima seeds from Salis wasn’t just a matter of their business—it would affect imperial trade as well.

Part of me worried that if we succeeded in obtaining cultivation permission and producing flower tea, the palace might want to monopolize it.

But even so, did the Salis ambassador really need to visit the Empire in person, or did Evan have to be the person in charge?

“Kaian, in short, to get the Anima cultivation permit, we need to meet with Ambassador Dustin and the ambassador, right?”
“Yes. How many times are you going to ask?”

His voice remained indifferent.

I closed my eyes as if to avoid the reality. I stayed motionless, escaping into my own mind, until Kaian clicked his tongue and returned to his spot.
“This is going to be a very… interesting business trip.”

Just thinking about it made my mouth dry.
Would I even be able to convince the ambassador using the faint magic left in the sand?

Just as I scratched my head over this difficult problem, hurried footsteps echoed outside the office door.

Robert? I gathered the papers together and tapped the protruding corners on the desk to organize them.

After a long time of ignoring the presence outside, Kaian finally couldn’t bear it and got up.
“What kind of person has been loitering by the door this whole time?”

Knock, knock—

At that moment, a sudden knock stopped Kaian in his tracks.
“Vanessa, it’s me. Can I come in?”

The voice on the other side was so familiar that I could recognize it just by the breathing.
“Sherry?”

Had she come to the trade company after finishing the knight entrance exam to see me? Had she heard about Juliana’s birthday party yesterday?

Ah… Sherry dislikes Evan because of me. If she knew, she would surely grind her teeth.

Kaian glanced at me, then put his hands in his pockets and shrugged, as if asking my permission.

With my thoughts tangled, I opened my mouth.
“Come in, Sherry.”

A moment later, Kaian opened the door and stepped back. Outside the door, Sherry stood hesitantly.

Kaian yawned lazily, wiped the tears from his eyes, and left the office.
“I’m heading home for today—”

He left with a considerate attitude. Sherry peeked around, then crossed the threshold.
“Can I come in?”
“Yes, sit here.”

I gestured to the central table used mainly for meetings.

Sherry slumped across from me like a withered leaf, looking utterly exhausted.

Something was off. Perhaps the rumor had shocked her.

At that moment, Sherry looked deeply troubled, unlike her usual self.
“Um… Vanessa.”

Her anxious eyes darted around the room, her face tense, and her fingers fidgeted under the table—this was not the brave, assertive Sherry I knew. She looked like a guilty criminal confessing her heavy sins.

What could be so difficult for her to say? After a long pause, Sherry barely parted her lips.
“Vanessa… it was that thief, no… the ambassador who took the trade company contract—it’s my fault.”

“Because of you?”

I ignored the words before the “ambassador” title.

“Vanessa, I know everything. That you haven’t forgotten your first love.”
“My first love?”

What? Huh… Sherry exhaled slowly like a thin thread and continued.
“Vanessa, the mercenary you met in Cent…”

My heart sank as if it fell to my toes. My mouth gaped in shock.
“Ho-how… do you know that…?”

“I told Ambassador Dustin about your first love. That you were lost because you couldn’t forget him.”
“…”
“I thought that’s the only way Dustin would step back.”

Sherry’s voice trembled as she added, her eyes wandering aimlessly before dropping to the floor.
“I’m sorry, Vanessa. The contract’s cancellation with the trade company isn’t your fault—it’s mine. I never imagined the ambassador would act like that.”

Sherry hesitated, then reached for my hand resting near the teacup and lightly rubbed the back of it. Her touch carried genuine remorse.

But what mattered to me wasn’t assigning responsibility for the broken contract. My breath came fast with shock.
“So that’s what it was.”

My first love. That had been what turned Evan’s eyes, hurt by a former lover’s betrayal, away from me.

Until then, he might have blamed me, but it wasn’t enough to truly shake him.

‘I’m ready to do anything.’

Yet Evan, who was usually composed, tried to make me notice him, even if it meant suppressing his pride—sometimes yearning for something, sometimes longing with his eyes.

‘If forgetting someone were so easy, I would have done it from the start.’

Sometimes showing emotions that could never coexist.

In short, Sherry’s actions were like pouring fuel on a fire.

“What… is this?”

I pressed my hand to my forehead, trying to steady my dizzy mind. Sherry’s confession made Evan’s feelings unmistakably clear without needing further confirmation.

“Vanessa… why are you… like this?”

Sherry stamped her feet like a child, ready to leap from her chair.

I had thought I was at least partially restoring things to how they were in the original story, even if not perfectly. But everything had been an illusion—I had misunderstood, and nothing had really changed.

I looked Sherry in the eyes, seeking final confirmation.
“Do you really have no feelings at all for Ambassador Dustin? Not now, not ever?”

“Vanessa, what are you talking about!”

Sherry’s eyes widened in shock, and she jumped up.
“Why would I care about that enemy…!”

Right. Of course. I laughed bitterly, a laugh directed not at anyone else, but at myself.

What had I done? Rationalized actions meant to “help others,” yet ended up hurting them. Had my actions really been right all along?

Perhaps it had only been for me. Hurting others just to resolve my own emotions. And conveniently, I had the original story as an excuse.

I buried my face in my hands and let out a deep sigh.
“Vanessa…”

Sherry’s sorrowful sighs tangled like a thread.
“I’m sorry. I’ll stay by your side to help the Anima business succeed.”
“No, it’s not your fault.”

It was all my fault. I thought alone, concluded alone, and misunderstood alone, wounding Evan in the process.

I lifted my face from my hands and stared blankly at the table. My eyes traced the rings in the wood, as if it might reveal a solution to the mess I’d caused.

I caught a glimpse of Sherry lingering, unwilling to leave.
“Sherry… I need some time alone.”

Still staring at the table, my voice was absent-minded.

Sherry, realizing I needed space, slumped her shoulders and rose from her chair.
“Vanessa, if there’s anything I can do to help, just tell me. Okay?”

She patted my shoulder, spoke her last words, then lingered silently for a while. Finally, with a heavy sigh, she left the office.

I remained seated for a long while.
“What’s wrong with you? Did something happen?”

Perry, who had woken up, tugged at my cheek until exhausted, at which point I finally tried to sleep, still dazed.

Until the fragmented moonlight shining through the window illuminated the table.