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Chapter 32
His Adam’s apple sank heavily, as if he were swallowing his pain.
Esselian was staring at the wall where Shuwen had disappeared.
Shuwen, who had been anxiously watching him, followed the strange way his gaze slid past the wall.
There, a locket necklace lay.
Only then did Shuwen realize the room was in complete disarray.
The wine cellar that had once been neatly arranged, the decorative items—everything was scattered and rolling across the floor.
Amid the chaos, the locket lay wide open, displaying a photograph.
Esselian’s eyes were fixed on it.
‘I—I need to get out first.’
Remembering how roughly he had handled her, Shuwen clutched her own neck as if to hide it.
‘If I speak to him now or provoke him, I might really die.’
She opened the door as quietly as possible, slipped out, and even managed to close it again perfectly.
Click.
The terror receded. Shuwen nearly collapsed as her legs gave way.
‘Hurry, hurry, I have to find it! If he suddenly comes out, then it’s really over.’
There was no time to spare.
Esselian might be in that room now, but if he wanted to, he could easily come out.
Before he started raving and strangling her again like earlier, she had to bring the healing potion.
‘Can I face Esselian alone?’
He seemed completely unhinged.
Shuwen’s body was already trembling violently.
‘No. No. Absolutely… no.’
Even with the healing potion, she couldn’t deal with Esselian alone, not right now.
In the blink of an eye, she could be killed.
But—
Still, something bothered her.
Esselian hated having his weaknesses exposed.
So few people even knew about his one weakness—his allergy.
Even so, Shuwen hesitated.
‘Like Father killed Mother that way….’
What he had done—treating her roughly and trying to choke her—was unforgivable.
But Esselian wasn’t in his right mind right now.
He was in no state to judge things rationally.
Madness was an irresistible force.
What Shuwen wanted to protect wasn’t his honor, his pride, or his reputation.
She simply wanted to protect Esselian, who had grown so weak that he was laying his vulnerabilities bare.
Shuwen was weak toward strong people, and even weaker toward the weak.
Physically, Esselian held the advantage, but to anyone’s eyes, his instability made him far weaker than Shuwen at this moment.
At least, by her standards.
“The necklace!”
Just as she stood there, unable to decide what to do, something came to mind.
A dog collar she had once bought as insurance.
Shuwen rushed into her room and flung open the wardrobe.
From within the layers of voluminous dresses, she pulled out the necklace she had hidden, tightly wrapped.
She also grabbed the healing potion she had hidden in the bedside table, gripping it firmly in one hand.
‘All right. This might work.’
Shuwen recalled the rules of training.
The book was filled with nothing but long-winded, clichéd advice and offered nothing of real help.
‘How did Esselian put the necklace on in the novel?’
Just finding the leash that could subdue him wasn’t enough to charge in blindly.
At the very least, she needed to picture herself putting it on him.
‘Ah… I can’t remember!’
Her feet paced restlessly around the room.
After spinning in circles, Shuwen suddenly headed for the door.
Anxiety, impatience, and fear clung thickly to her steps.
She stopped in front of Esselian’s door and grasped the handle.
Before opening it, she closed her eyes and imagined.
If Esselian stayed still like before…
She would first strike behind his knees to knock him down, then fasten the collar while he was off guard.
“I can do this. I can do this. I just have to do it.”
Don’t tremble, Shuwen.
She forcefully suppressed the urge to run away. Even if she avoided it now, a situation like this would come again someday.
“I can do this…”
The corridor was empty, with no one else around.
Unless summoned, servants never entered the spaces of the Grand Duke and Grand Duchess.
No one would have heard Shuwen scream before she was dragged inside by Esselian.
She opened the door.
Esselian was standing exactly where he had been before.
His back looked dangerously unstable.
Shuwen lifted her heels and walked carefully.
Just as when she left, she closed the door tightly without making a sound, then tightened her grip on the leash.
‘Just follow the plan. Follow the plan….’
Like a ghost, she slipped behind Esselian and even stopped breathing.
For a moment, she stared at the back of his neck.
Putting the collar on him like this was impossible.
“…Hng!”
Her gaze dropped to the back of his knees.
Just as Shuwen pulled one foot back—
Esselian sensed her presence and spun around.
Their gazes tangled in midair.
Thud!
Shuwen’s ambitious plan succeeded.
Of course, “Esselian turning around” hadn’t been part of the plan.
His unguarded body collapsed.
And likewise, “Esselian using a drowning-man’s tactic as he fell” hadn’t been part of the plan either.
Shuwen fell together with him.
As he went down, Esselian grabbed her hand.
Caught off guard by his sudden movement, Shuwen lost her balance.
The healing potion and the leash slipped from her hands and rolled across the floor.
Falling together with Esselian, Shuwen hurriedly lifted her head.
As she scanned her surroundings, she spotted the potion bottle rolling to a stop in the distance.
Thankfully, the glass vial hadn’t shattered.
“What were you planning to do to me?”
Esselian still seemed blind to everything else. Shuwen scrambled to her feet and quickly grabbed the vial.
“I—I’m not doing nothing… but I’m not doing anything that would harm you, Your Highness.”
“If you might be the emperor’s spy, how can I trust you?”
“…I can’t prove it. For now, you’ll have to trust me.”
“I trust no one.”
Shuwen, still kneeling, looked at Esselian facing her with unease.
It was a hair-trigger situation.
Esselian looked calm at first glance.
But on closer inspection, he wasn’t really looking at her. Shuwen glanced slightly behind herself, then snapped her head back.
‘Don’t turn your back.’
The moment you turn your back on a beast, you’re attacked.
And Esselian, not being in his right mind, could be treated as a beast.
“Please trust me. I won’t harm you.”
Shuwen’s attention was fixed on the leash lying some distance away.
“Really. I’m not His Majesty’s spy.”
If anything, she was a victim dragged into something she had nothing to do with.
It was frustrating.
All she could say in this situation was to ask him to believe her.
‘Still… I really hope he believes me.’
Even if he didn’t, she still had the leash. It would be okay.
She repeated it to herself like a spell.
“Even after a lifetime together, killing someone takes only a moment.”
Just a little more. Just a little more…
‘Got it!’
At last, her hand touched the leash.
Confirming that Esselian’s gaze was slightly averted, Shuwen moved closer on her knees.
Afraid he might suddenly look straight at her, she distracted him by speaking.
Esselian tapped his temple with a finger.
“When this breaks, it’s over.”
Madness. A terrifying disease that destroys the mind.
‘What’s the point of living like a parasite on you? I, with my filthy blood that can’t survive without parasitizing….’
‘In the end, I’ll kill you.’
‘Just like Father killed Mother….’
Shuwen didn’t know what had happened in his past.
She only knew that he had grown up in unfortunate circumstances.
She hadn’t finished reading the novel.
Still, she could guess what Esselian feared.
“You won’t kill me, Your Highness.”
Esselian, who trusted no one, couldn’t even trust himself.
It was a fragile side of him never shown in the novel.
“Whatever happened between the late Grand Duke and Grand Duchess, I’m certain you won’t kill me.”
Titiana still had value.
As long as Esselian’s madness didn’t fade, he wouldn’t kill Titiana.
So this was the truth.
“The reason I’m certain is… because you’re not that kind of person.”
Even the ending she hadn’t read wouldn’t have Esselian killing Titiana.
It was a romance novel, after all.
And even if that were a lie, lying now increased Shuwen’s chances of surviving.
“You can become anything, Your Highness, but…”
The villain and the hero of Lutenia.
A plunderer who only took what he needed, disguised as a princess’s savior.
A beast who could threaten Shuwen at any time, yet also someone so weak that he exposed all his vulnerabilities before her.
“You won’t become what you’re afraid of.”
She couldn’t guarantee it.
Even as she said it, Shuwen lacked confidence. Her grip on the leash tightened.
“I will…”
Before she realized it, Shuwen was standing before Esselian.
Lowering her body, she knelt and embraced Esselian, who seemed trapped somewhere in his past.
“I’ll protect you.”
Click. Cold metal closed around his neck.
The collar was a safety device.
Her hand gripping the leash was slick with sweat. Shuwen opened the vial, then used the hand holding the leash to cover his eyes.
Carefully, she brought the vial to Esselian’s lips.
Esselian was powerless.
Even though she hadn’t spoken the activation phrase for the “incapacitation” effect.
Shuwen cupped Esselian’s cheeks with both hands and looked into his eyes.
“I’ll protect you, so you can never become like that person.”
A crack formed in his expressionless face.
His lips twitched as if suppressing painful breaths, and the red eyes that had been brimming with moisture finally spilled over with tears.
“So please, don’t be afraid.”
Esselian felt the hallucinations and voices fade away.
For an instant, the space distorted.
The blood-soaked floor vanished, the cold corpses blurred, and the screams that had pierced his ears were gone.
‘Even the gentle Grand Duke turned out that way—what will happen to the young duke…? He’ll surely become just like the Grand Duke.’
The voice that had followed him like a curse fell silent.
In the place where all that fear had been erased, only one person remained.
“You have me, Your Highness.”
She was a Grand Duchess who feared everything in the world.
The hands holding his cheeks were trembling minutely.
