🔊 TTS Settings
Chapter : 21
“What did you just say…?”
I stared wide-eyed at the completely unexpected words.
What Leonard had just said was so shocking that I forgot to control my expression in front of him.
There had already been a lot of talk among people about the extinction of the other races.
They had been gradually disappearing to begin with, but at some point the change had become noticeable. People said it was truly strange.
Even I—who rarely ever left the estate—had heard rumors that demi-humans were being used as test subjects and the like.
And now to think that it was actually…
‘So it was all because of Isabel’s curse?’
Did he really kill them all for such a reason? Just to complete the curse?
The power of the curse was far stronger than I had imagined. In the original work it was explained in just a few lines and brushed past—but this wasn’t something that could be passed over so lightly.
As confusion churned inside me, I lowered my head slightly. Seeing this, Leonard lowered his eyes as if he had expected it.
“Magic is terrifying,” he said quietly. “Just to torment one person, it ends up taking the lives of so many others.”
Leonard continued speaking calmly. It was an unsettling composure for someone who had just confessed such a fatal weakness.
…No, that was a misunderstanding.
“Just to make one person suffer…”
When Leonard lifted his head again, his eyes were empty—like a hollow shell with nothing inside.
That gaze was endlessly vacant and precarious, as if he might disappear somewhere just like that.
Only then did I realize something was wrong, and I hurriedly spoke.
“You don’t have to tell me. I’m fine, really…”
“But you were different, Loreina.”
“Leonard.”
“The reason I was able to live like a normal person all this time—it was all thanks to you. You didn’t seem to be affected by the curse.”
“Leonard, please stop.”
“It was the first time. Someone who could stay near me without dying, without being affected by the curse.”
Despite my repeated attempts to stop him, Leonard didn’t stop talking.
He looked like a broken doll, and my heart pounded loudly in my chest.
“I thought about it all night, and it seems like the curse doesn’t work on you because you’re half-elf.”
“Please, stop…”
“You’re neither a complete human nor a complete demi-human. The curse probably didn’t account for mixed blood. It’s rare for demi-humans and humans to be together, after all.”
“Leonard.”
“Or maybe the curse’s influence has weakened. Well, it’s been three hundred years.”
“Stop it.”
“In any case, it’s certain that you’re special. That’s why I followed you to the count’s estate four years ago. And why I came to find you yesterday and suddenly asked you to come with me…”
“Leonard!”
I couldn’t take it anymore and rushed forward, wrapping my arms tightly around him.
Even without looking, I could feel through my skin how badly he was trembling.
I could tell what kind of expression he had as he buried his face in my chest and clutched my clothes.
…It felt far more horrific than I had expected. Seeing with my own eyes the pain of a protagonist I had only read about in words.
And even more so because that person was someone I knew so well.
The original novel I had read before coming to this world was written in first person, describing Leonard’s feelings in meticulous detail throughout.
At first, I thought the psychological descriptions were excessive. Sometimes they took up an entire chapter, and I had even complained about it.
But I was wrong. They weren’t excessive at all. No matter how much more was written or explained, it still wouldn’t have been enough.
Knowing a protagonist’s heart through a novel was on a completely different level from experiencing it in reality. A few lines of text could never explain everything he felt.
What does it feel like to bare your most fatal weakness? To live for hundreds of years carrying the guilt that countless lives were lost because of you?
I, who had suffered just from thinking that Enoch had been hit by a poisoned arrow because of me, couldn’t even dare imagine the depth of that pain.
Now I finally understood why, on the day we first met at the Hentison family’s party, Leonard had clutched my arm so desperately.
Had I taken being by Leonard’s side too lightly?
The thought suddenly made my vision go blank.
“Please stop.”
“……”
“I understand everything now. Please… just stop…”
“No, you don’t understand, Loreina.”
The hand clutching my clothes trembled violently.
Leonard, who had been gasping and twitching like a child who had just learned how to breathe, spoke in a low voice.
“How horrible and disgusting I am.”
Soon, Leonard slowly pushed me away.
The face I saw then was more tragic than anything else—despite the fact that not a single tear had fallen.
“I showed you no consideration at all. I didn’t think about how you’d feel about my sudden proposal and just pushed it on you recklessly. Like a madman.”
“…But I said I was fine.”
And I had never once thought of someone struggling desperately just to survive as a madman.
Especially not when that someone was Leonard.
But it seemed Leonard thought differently.
“That’s exactly the problem. You’d keep saying you’re fine—no matter what I asked of you.”
“……”
“Just like how you stepped in without hesitation during the necklace incident and Enoch Defron’s poisoning.”
“What does that—”
“That’s what scares me the most.”
Leonard completely stepped away from me and straightened up.
“I’m afraid that even if something even more dangerous happens, you’ll still say you’re fine.”
My heart sank heavily at his words—because he had pinpointed my thoughts exactly.
If Leonard wanted me, and if it meant he could escape even a little from his cruel fate, I had thought I would gladly sacrifice myself to some extent.
Leonard, who had been quietly watching me, seemed to notice this. His low voice now carried a firmness different from before.
“Forget what Gerald said earlier. I won’t take you with me.”
“……”
“It was good to see your face again, Loreina.”
Leonard lifted his head and smiled at me, the corners of his eyes curving upward.
It was a horribly distorted smile—one that would have been better replaced by tears.
…No. Don’t do that.
I said I wanted you to smile, but I never wanted you to smile like that.
“I’m really sorry.”
Why were you apologizing? If anything, I was the one who should be sorry.
I was a selfish person who had seen how much Leonard suffered in the original story, yet had only thought about my own survival.
Even after reuniting with the cursed Leonard, I had been excited, thinking only about escaping my own doomed lifespan.
If I had truly recognized that Leonard wasn’t just a male lead in a novel but a real person like me, I could never have acted that way.
Only now, facing Leonard’s pain-stricken face, did I truly realize that I was a part of this world.
I had known it in my head, but it had taken far too long to accept it with my heart.
Six years into living in this world—and how foolish I’d been.
“Take care.”
Leaving those final words behind, Leonard closed the drawing room door and walked out.
Unlike before, his footsteps were heavy as they slowly faded away.
As if he would never return.
* * *
Gerald, who had ended up packing his bags the moment he arrived, let out a small sigh as he watched over his lord.
“So this was your plan from the beginning,” he muttered. “Because you had no one to go with you.”
“May I speak frankly?” Gerald asked.
“…Say whatever you want.”
“I honestly don’t understand Your Majesty.”
Gerald shook his head in complaint.
Normally, such behavior would have earned an outburst of anger long ago, but Leonard didn’t react.
He himself didn’t quite understand his recent actions either.
“Didn’t you come all this way to take Lady Amelio with you?”
“I did.”
“And now, of all times. When you’ve just seized imperial power—the most critical moment. And yet you’re just going back like this?”
“I suppose so.”
Leonard murmured quietly.
But that didn’t mean he regretted his choice. In truth, there was nothing new about it.
He had simply realized it again.
How horrible he was, and how selfish it had been to barge in and ask Loreina to stay by his side.
No one knew when the curse would be lifted—if ever. Yet he had still tried to keep Loreina bound to him until that day.
There’s no trash worse than that.
Leonard shook his head, recalling even the ugliness of abandoning everything and rushing here upon hearing that Loreina was getting married.
“…This is enough.”
Seeing her face once was enough.
Hadn’t he just seen how shocked Loreina was when she heard about the curse?
And she had said those last words, too—she must have understood and given up.
“Let’s go now.”
Leonard slowly turned and placed one foot on the carriage.
The process of climbing aboard—something he would normally do in a single motion—was painfully slow.
As if he were waiting for something.
Am I… hoping?
A hollow laugh escaped him at his own selfishness.
Yes. He was hoping.
Even after rejecting her so coldly and saying he wouldn’t accept her consideration anymore, he was still clinging to it.
Hoping that even now, Loreina would come running out of the estate and call his name.
“Leonard!”
Just like that.
“…Huh?”
The voice was far too vivid to be imagination. Leonard turned his head.
There was Loreina, bursting out of the count’s estate with a large bag in her arms, running straight toward him.
Just like four years ago.
“W-wait a second—ah!”
As if reenacting that day exactly, Loreina stumbled.
The one difference this time was that Leonard caught her immediately.
Loreina, who had come running out of breath, landed securely in Leonard’s arms.
“Are you okay?”
“……”
“Are you hurt anywhere? Say something.”
As he checked her over and asked, instead of the answer he was waiting for, a small hand suddenly flew up toward his forehead.
Thwack.
A crisp sound echoed through the open space.
It was the chestnut flick Loreina had been wanting to give him since yesterday.
