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Chapter : 20
What Should We Do About Our Child?
Charlof lay back down after trying to get up. It felt as if her soul had drained out of her, leaving her head blank and dizzy.
“You made the right choice, miss. If you move any more, it’ll only strain your body.”
“Grandfather and Uncle are being so dramatic.”
“Here, I brought your medicine. Take this first.”
Charlof swallowed the medicine the maid prepared. It was powdered medicine mixed in water, and the bitter liquid slid down her throat with a gulp. It was so strong she could practically feel every inch of her esophagus as it went down.
Charlof made a miserable face and whispered,
“It’s bitter, Uncle.”
Aster looked down at her fondly and pulled out a piece of candy from his pocket.
“Now that you’re a bit older, you’re not going to eat candy anymore, are you?”
“It’s sweet.”
“Of course it’s sweet. Do you think candy would be bitter?”
The round candy was strawberry-flavored and generously coated in sugar. As Charlof rolled it around in her mouth and let it melt, Aster crouched down to her eye level and spoke.
“We’re not being overdramatic. You’re the one who’s unusually hard on yourself. You’re the only one who doesn’t realize it, so the people watching you can’t help but worry.”
Aster lightly flicked Charlof on the head so it wouldn’t hurt. Charlof clutched her head and groaned.
“That hurts.”
“It hurts? Does it? So this hurts, huh? You never once said it hurt when you were drenched in cold sweat and groaning in pain, but after suddenly collapsing, now a little flick hurts….”
Aster raised his hand to flick her again, then relaxed his grip and gently patted her instead.
“Don’t be in pain.”
He cleared his throat awkwardly. Perhaps embarrassed, he coughed and quickly looked away before leaving the room.
“What are we to do about our child?”
Aster kept glancing back toward Charlof’s room.
“What should we do with that child?”
“What do you mean?”
“I just don’t know what on earth made her that way. That child… what are we supposed to do?”
Leandro stopped and looked out the window. The weather was clear—so clear it looked thoughtlessly bright, as if everything were fine.
“When the time comes, she’ll tell us herself.”
For now, it’s better to just watch over her. Simply staying by her side is enough.
“If something goes wrong, then we can set it right at that time. For now, let’s just leave her be. We have to let her be. That’s how I strongly feel.”
What if, after we take a step closer, she steps back?
What if the heart she’s barely opened closes again?
To her, we were still distant.
We hadn’t known her long.
An abnormal meeting formed in the wake of her biological mother’s death.
What could you even call a meeting like that? The reason they couldn’t pry into her was simple: nothing about it was normal.
The first time Leandro saw her eyes, he caught a glimpse of his daughter’s face within them. She looked so much alike that he almost flinched.
When his daughter had said she would distance herself from the family and protect her own child, he had been able to do nothing.
“I hate that family. Even if it was a pact made generations ago, to watch my little sister die like that… Damn that old man—what on earth did he leave us with? Being shackled just because of custody rights….”
“Do you think Cosette would have blamed the child?”
Aster hesitated.
“Cosette wasn’t that kind of person either.”
“She couldn’t even ask us for anything in her final moments and just left like that. The one left alone there was Charlof. It’s hard for that child to be like everyone else. Even if she looks fine on the outside, she may be completely withered inside.”
“Father.”
“I’m scared.”
For the first time, Leandro revealed what was in his heart.
“Just like Cosette kept her distance from us.”
“Father!”
“What if that child does the same?”
She wasn’t that young anymore, but to their eyes, she was still young. Young and fragile.
“Can’t you see it?”
“See what?”
“The child we’re supposed to protect is trying to protect us instead.”
This is still a time when she’s allowed to be sad.
“My child.”
She wasn’t young enough to be called that anymore.
Leandro’s fingertips trembled.
“You’re trying to go too far away, all by yourself.”
Time slowly passed.
Charlof opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. The darkened room relied only on the faint light from outside the window.
It was late dawn. The familiar ceiling welcomed her.
As her blurry vision cleared, Charlof clutched the blanket and groaned.
That familiarity put her at ease.
Only then did she murmur, “So this is Windsor,” and feel reassured again.
“……”
Charlof felt around her neck and got out of bed.
You’re always compulsively touching your neck.
She froze and lowered her arm.
“I’m thirsty.”
She was dressed in a white nightgown.
Thanks to the light clothing, her body felt much more comfortable.
“It’s just because I’m thirsty.”
As she whispered, it felt as if the air itself was crying.
She poured water into a cup on the table and drank.
Her cheeks were hot. Heat rushed up into her head, making her dizzy.
Staggering, Charlof left the bedroom. The hallway was empty.
She stopped blankly in the corridor, clutching her chest and swallowing her breath. One side felt blocked, making it hard to breathe.
“It hurts.”
Startled, she pressed her lips together.
It feels like my chest is tightly knotted.
As if trying to loosen the heaviness inside, Charlof thumped her solar plexus.
Her slippers dragged along the floor.
“A patient shouldn’t be wandering around alone.”
Charlof lifted her hollow gaze.
“I felt suffocated.”
“If you’re a patient, then act like one and lie down in your room.”
It was Benjamin.
“Is sneaking out alone at night a habit of yours?”
“You’re here.”
“I thought you might wake up, so I stayed outside.”
“Where have you been all this time?”
“While you were asleep for four days, I was wrapping up the hunting tournament. I finally got some time today.”
Benjamin placed a tiara on Charlof’s head. When he hooked a finger into the thin tiara and removed it, it caught on his fingertip.
“Are you crying?”
Charlof’s eyes reddened.
“I’m not crying.”
“Then why do you keep crying?”
Her eyes, wet and heavy, looked as though they could burst into tears at any moment, but Charlof kept her composure.
Benjamin kissed her eyelids.
“It hurts, doesn’t it?”
Charlof wriggled her fingers, then placed her hand against his chest. Her eyes slowly reddened.
I didn’t mean to cry.
She tightened her grip, clutching his clothes and resting her forehead against him.
Her eyes filled with tears. Benjamin wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close.
As she lowered her face and held onto his shoulder, Benjamin brushed back her hair.
“Charle.”
Charlof held her breath for a moment.
“My Charle.”
The whispered voice was smooth.
“Everything will turn out the way you want.”
Benjamin took the tiara caught on her fingertip and placed it back on her head, then wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her.
“Stop crying.”
Charlof’s eyes trembled. In a low voice, Benjamin whispered as he lifted her chin.
“When you cry…”
Charlof raised her head as if entranced. Their eyes met, and her dazed gaze was captured by his.
“I get swayed by you.”
Benjamin smiled and lowered his head. Their noses touched. So close—too close.
His jet-black hair tickled her cheek, and his snake-like eyes looked as though they might devour her.
Charlof blinked blankly.
She admitted it herself: if she lost focus, she would be swayed.
Even so.
Charlof grabbed Benjamin’s waist. As she pressed into him, he lowered his head.
Just a little.
I’ll rest just a little.
Even though the days she wants to forget swirl in her mind—
“Today, I want to rest.”
Charlof leaned her forehead against him.
Benjamin looked down at the small body burrowing into his arms.
“Charle.”
“……”
“Charlof.”
He called her name again and again.
Charlof slowly began to calm down.
“You’re getting sleepy.”
Even at Benjamin’s whisper, Charlof only leaned against him.
Shaking his head, Benjamin lifted her up.
She was light.
He hesitated for a moment, then quickly found her room.
Charlof looked like she would fall asleep any second.
Benjamin straightened the blankets and laid her on the bed, then sat down beside it.
“You shouldn’t be in pain.”
He spoke to the tired-looking Charlof.
“Today Aster turned into a rain-soaked puppy.”
“My uncle isn’t like that.”
“He keeps groaning. He wants to come see you, but he’s worried he might bother you.”
Charlof pushed herself up from where she had been reclining. As she smiled, a shadow fell over her.
“Lie down.”
A cool night breeze clung to Benjamin’s clothes, carrying a clear, refreshing chill.
“My back hurts.”
“It’s still time to sleep.”
Charlof squinted one eye.
His fingertips were rough with calluses from holding a sword.
Benjamin smiled and stroked her cheek. Her long eyelashes tickled his fingers.
“Stay here until I fall asleep.”
“Hm?”
“Your warmth…”
Perhaps she had been quietly longing for this warmth.
“And give me your hand.”
Benjamin took her hand.
“It’s hot.”
“That’s because you still have a fever.”
“I think it’s gone down.”
Her head felt foggy.
Feeling around the bed, Charlof lay back down.
“Could you open the terrace window?”
“The night air isn’t good. You’ve got a cold, too.”
“But it’s hot.”
“That’s because of the fever. No, Charle.”
Benjamin pressed his forehead to hers.
“You’ve got a pretty bad cold.”
Charlof felt her consciousness slowly sinking.
“If you’re sleepy, then sleep.”
“……”
“I’ll stay by your side.”
Benjamin gently patted her lower abdomen.
“Everything will be fine.”
This moment is only a brief instant.
“I’ll tear everything apart for you.”
“……”
“Breathe slowly.”
Charlof blinked, and Benjamin leaned in close. Their eyes met at close range. It was too late to avoid his gaze.
“You can sleep now.”
His dark red hair spread across the bed.
“Don’t be in pain.”
Benjamin kissed her cheek.
“Charle.”
His whispering voice grew fainter and fainter.
Sleep for a while. When you wake up, you’ll feel better.
The voice soothing her gradually drifted away.
