101-74

Chapter 74

The sun was sinking slowly into the horizon. Only now returning to the mansion, Lucia watched the scenery outside the rattling carriage.

‘We should hold a proper engagement ceremony. Would it be better after summer passes?’

‘…No. Now that things have come to this, let’s do it as soon as possible. We’re getting married anyway, aren’t we?’

She had finally decided to get engaged to Bern.

She wondered if she had seized the moment when his heart was weakened, but he accepted the engagement as if he had never wavered at all, quickly regaining his composure.

Thus, they spent time talking about their future together until late at night.

In the end, they decided to hold the engagement ceremony before summer was over.

Even though she had been the one to suggest doing it quickly, watching Bern agree without a single complaint made Lucia feel like she was playing the villain.

Perhaps sensing her emotions, Bern spoke to her as she was leaving his residence.

‘Lucia, don’t feel guilty. This is my decision.’

He told her she had no reason to feel burdened, yet she couldn’t help but feel uneasy.

Her own love had never been one that could come true anyway—never something that could happen. But Bern and Celine had once been lovers who had even promised marriage.

And hadn’t Celine herself said today that she was now free?

Bern had told her that the biggest reason they ended things had been the opposition from their parents.

But now Bern’s father, the former marquis, had passed away, and Celine—whom he thought had gone to someone else forever—was free again.

It was the opportunity of a lifetime for Bern.

He had loved Celine so much that he locked himself away for an entire year, unable to see anyone.

At first Lucia simply felt sorry for his circumstances. As Bern had once helped her in the past, she had wanted to help him this time.

So, without realizing it, the words “let’s get engaged” had slipped out. But she never imagined Bern would accept immediately.

‘Would I have done the same if I were Bern?’

Lucia closed her eyes, picturing Bern and Celine. Naturally, the image shifted into herself and Herwin.

‘Marry me, Lucia—forget that other man.’

It was such a sweet yet utterly unrealistic fantasy that she let out a small laugh.

“Why did I compare us when Bern and I aren’t the same at all?”

Celine had truly been Bern’s lover. It was understandable that she’d want to hold onto him. But she and Herwin… they were nothing.

At most, the only labels she could apply to them were “childhood friends,” “one-sided crush.”

She thought she had let go of Herwin long ago… but realizing their relationship so clearly now made her feel miserable.

“But if… Herwin held onto me…”

She would probably waver.

Bern would weigh on her mind, of course. But it wasn’t because she saw him romantically or couldn’t bear to lose him.

It was simply because she had promised to get engaged.

Just because someone you love appears, you can’t sever ties coldly.

‘Is that why Bern chose me?’

He was similar to her, so maybe he had thought that way too.

He was someone who hadn’t even dared to speak Celine’s name.

Still… it didn’t feel like he was choosing her out of guilt alone…

“Sigh… I don’t know.”

She couldn’t understand her own heart—how could she possibly know someone else’s?

Too much had happened today; her head was unusually clouded.

Lucia leaned her back lazily against the carriage wall.

‘I’m tired… I should go to bed early.’

As she slowly emptied her thoughts and closed her eyes, she felt the carriage begin to slow.

She waited for the coachman to announce their arrival.

“Ah, m-my lady…”

His voice sounded slightly unsettled.

“There’s a carriage from House Peneus in front of the gate. What should we do?”

Lucia blinked her eyes open and looked outside. Just as he said, a carriage bearing the Peneus family crest was parked in front of her home.

“…Herwin?”

A moment later, Herwin descended from the carriage.

It was the first time she had seen him since having dinner with Bern and Arista.

She had left Christine’s party so abruptly that she hadn’t even been able to greet Herwin or the others.

It had only been about a month, but for some reason, it felt like she hadn’t seen him in a long time.

Maybe that was why her heart was beating unusually fast.

Lucia pressed her hand over her chest without realizing it as Herwin approached her carriage.

Knock, knock—

“Lucia, right?”

Lucia snapped out of her daze and opened the door.

“Herwin. What brings you here?”

As she stepped out, Herwin hesitated and stepped back slightly.

“Were you waiting here this whole time? You should’ve waited inside.”

She found it odd that he hadn’t even gone into the mansion. But immediately, she noticed something far more concerning.

His face was completely worn out.

Dark shadows pooled beneath his eyes, and his cheeks had sunken so much he looked gaunt.

“Goodness! What happened to your face? Are you sick?”

Herwin flinched when her hand touched his cheek.

“You look thinner than last time! And what’s with the dark circles? Have you not been sleeping? Or… are you really ill?”

Thinking he was sick, Lucia panicked and worried over him.

“This won’t do. Let’s go inside first. I need to check your condition and call a doctor—”

As she grabbed his arm, Herwin gently placed his hand over hers.

Lucia froze and looked up. Her eyes widened as she saw his expression clearly.

Herwin—that Herwin—was blushing, looking at her with an unreadable expression.

His red eyes were trembling. Lucia felt like she knew exactly what emotion was swirling inside them.

No way…

“…Lucia.”

His lips parted as he took a step toward her.

“Can you… not break up with the marquis?”

Lucia’s lips parted in shock.

“I don’t want to see you with him. No… I hate the idea of any other man being next to you.”

It was even more shocking than the imaginary confession she’d dreamed about earlier in the carriage.

She couldn’t understand what he was saying.

Herwin was still speaking, but nothing reached her ears—just a dull ringing.

Yet she couldn’t look away from him.

As she stared, Herwin nervously avoided her gaze. Every time their eyes met, he flinched and turned away as if something disastrous would happen.

He looked like… someone in love.

The sunset behind him was fading, yet his face was even redder. His large, warm hand holding hers was damp with sweat.

“I know it sounds weird to say this suddenly… but everything I’m saying is true. Not like last time—I’m not saying this because I dislike the marquis—”

“Herwin.”

He stopped rambling. At last, his red eyes met her cool blue ones.

“…Do you like me?”

His ears flushed red. After a moment, he lowered his head.

“…Yeah.”

He bowed his head deeply, but even then he was tall enough that Lucia could see his face clearly.

He was looking at her with the same expression he had shown only to Arista—no, even more hopelessly in love now.

Lucia stared frozen for a long moment before her expression hardened.

Soon, her face twisted.

“You’re lying.”

“…I’m not lying.”

“No, you are. There’s no way you like me.”

Lucia was convinced this was some cruel joke.

“This isn’t funny. If you came here to play a joke, go home.”

She turned away, but Herwin grabbed her in a panic.

“Lucia, please just listen—”

“Let go!”

She yanked her hand away. Tears were welling in her eyes.

“You’ve never seen me as a woman. You said I was only a friend—you said you liked Arista! So why are you telling me you like me now?!”

Before she could finish, Herwin pulled her tightly into his arms.

His musky scent filled her nose.

“I’m sorry for being so harsh to you. I regret everything I’ve done to hurt you. Lucia, I didn’t like Arista. I like you—no, I love you.”

It was the phrase she’d longed to hear even in her dreams. But right now, it only felt cruel.

“I took your presence for granted. I never thought you’d get tired. I just assumed your love would last forever.”

Herwin buried his face in her hair.

“My eyes were always on you… but I was too stupid to realize it.”

“I don’t believe you… You always liked Arista…”

Despite his heartfelt confession, Lucia couldn’t accept his words.

“Arista was admiration. I mistook that for something else. You won’t believe me, but even then, I didn’t care if Arista met another man. But you—no. The thought of you being with the marquis drives me crazy.”

Herwin’s desperate embrace made his sincerity clear.

As his longtime friend—and someone who had once loved him—Lucia knew he was speaking from the heart.

But at the same time, a deep fear welled up from all the times he had rejected and hurt her.

Every time she confessed, he said he liked Arista. And now he claimed that was a misunderstanding.

Then wasn’t it possible that this was a misunderstanding too?

Was he just confusing his fear of losing a childhood friend with actual love?

‘I don’t want to be hurt again.’

If he later said it was all a mistake… that he didn’t really love her… she truly felt she wouldn’t survive it.

She couldn’t bear to be hurt again.

“This… is your misconception.”

“…Lucia.”

“You don’t love me. Right?”

Herwin stepped back slightly, staring at her with devastated eyes.

Her heart had shut him out completely.

His chest felt like it was being ripped apart, but he bit his lip and refused to give up.

“If you can’t believe it, I’ll say it again. I love you, Lucia.”

Lucia’s blue eyes wavered. Then her face twisted in pain as she whispered:

“I… decided to get engaged to Bern.”

Herwin’s heart plummeted.

“He proposed to me today. We talked about our engagement ceremony. So no matter what you say—even if you claim to love me—it’s already too late.”

Having finally spoken the truth, Lucia noticed the sudden silence around them and slowly lifted her head.

And she saw Herwin’s expression.

He looked like a man who had lost everything.

Her heart grew heavy, but she forced herself to look away and walked past him.

‘This is for the best.’

His feelings were only a misunderstanding. He would soon forget her and find happiness with someone else.

She would follow her path, and Herwin would follow his.