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Chapter 69
The day after the party, Lucia rose from her bed, bathed in the dazzling morning sunlight.
“Ahem!”
Even without looking in the mirror, she could feel how puffy her eyes were. Her throat was dry and scratchy, her voice hoarse.
It was probably the aftermath of the tears she had shed yesterday.
Her body felt terrible, but after pouring out her emotions, she felt a slight sense of relief.
“My goodness, milady! Your eyes are terribly swollen!”
Sein, who happened to be entering the room, was startled to see Lucia sitting half-asleep on the bed.
Lucia gave an awkward smile.
“Is it that bad?”
“Yes. If my lady sees you like this, she’d be very surprised.”
“Well, that won’t do.”
Lucia dampened a towel and pressed it against her eyes to reduce the swelling. She knew that if her parents saw her in this state, it would certainly cause an uproar.
“Did something happen yesterday?”
When Lucia had arrived at the mansion the previous day, her eyes had already been red and swollen. However, at the time, she hadn’t looked in the mood to be asked about it.
Lucia tilted her head slightly as she rubbed her eyes with the cool towel.
“No, nothing happened.”
Sein was a little taken aback by the casual way she said there was truly nothing.
“Really?”
“Yes. I just… talked honestly with Bern. It actually feels refreshing!”
Lucia put down the towel and smiled brightly. The faint clouds of gloom that had recently hovered over her face had completely vanished.
“That’s a relief. I was worried something might have happened to you.”
“Oh, it’s nothing like that.”
“But before you went to the party yesterday, you raised your voice at the young master for a moment.”
Indeed, Lucas had briefly argued with Bern, mentioning his ex.
“Maybe it went well thanks to him.”
Lucia only vaguely knew there had been something between Bern and Celine; she didn’t know that they had been engaged.
“Where’s your brother now?”
“He’s out at work, as usual.”
“I see.”
Thinking she would apologize when Lucas came later, Lucia got up from her seat. The past few days had been filled with so many appointments that she hadn’t had a single day to rest. But as of yesterday, all the schedules were over, and she could finally relax.
After living such a busy life, having free time all of a sudden felt awkward.
Fidgeting around the rooms, realizing she had nothing to do, Lucia went out to the terrace and gazed blankly at the bright weather.
“…It’s hot now.”
Since summer began, the sunlight had felt scorching.
Hiding in the shade, she stared blankly at the clear sky and toyed with her lips.
Although she had kissed Bern yesterday, in the moment her eyes were closed, it had felt almost like she was with Herwin.
Even though coming back to reality felt hellish, she couldn’t deny that, for that moment, it had been blissful.
Thinking of Herwin, Lucia quickly wiped the smile off her face.
“This… feels miserable…”
The very act of imagining someone who wouldn’t reciprocate her feelings felt pitiful.
Yet, it wasn’t as painful as she had feared.
“Perhaps time really is the cure.”
Even if she didn’t want to admit it, with time passing, she felt like she was letting go of her lingering attachment to Herwin.
Whenever she thought of him, there always seemed to be a line between them.
Before, she had tried desperately to cross that line and reach him, but now she simply stood still, observing Herwin, knowing she would never reach him.
She wasn’t just letting him go in her head; she was gradually letting him go in her heart as well.
Now, it no longer felt strange to imagine a future without Herwin.
Lost in thoughts of Herwin, Lucia noticed people gathering outside. Julian was preparing a tea time in the garden with the maids.
Seeing her mother there, Lucia suddenly realized that her own parents had also been in an arranged marriage.
“Mother and Father… were they awkward at first too?”
Even though they now couldn’t live without each other, their relationship hadn’t started out that intimate.
They seemed very happy now, clearly loving and cherishing each other.
“Will I be able to feel the same?”
She would probably be officially engaged to Bern soon, and would eventually marry him. She wondered if she could live happily, like her parents, after that.
Seeking answers, Lucia got up.
“Oh my, Lucia. It’s rare to see you home at this hour.”
Julian greeted her warmly as she approached.
“I’ve been so busy traveling around the mansion. May I join you if it’s alright?”
“Of course.”
Julian stepped aside and handed her an extra teacup.
“The weather is wonderful today.”
“It really is. Maybe because it’s early summer, it feels especially nice.”
“I dislike the heat, but I love the bright summer sky. Maybe later we can invite Marquis Casper and go for an outing?”
Lucia froze slightly when Bern’s name was mentioned and put down her teacup.
“Shall we do that, then?”
Julian was surprised that his daughter accepted so readily, expecting her to oppose since she wasn’t officially engaged yet.
“Is that so? I thought you’d say no.”
“Well, he’s the one I’m going to be engaged to anyway. Spending time with family isn’t a bad idea.”
“Hmm…”
Julian studied his daughter for a moment. Previously, she had been awkward even at the mention of an engagement with Bern, but now she seemed much more comfortable.
“So, something must have happened with the Marquis. I’m glad you’ve opened your heart a bit more.”
Lucia smiled faintly in response.
“Yes, that’s right. Being honest with each other made it feel a bit easier.”
As she sipped her tea, she looked at Julian.
“Mother…”
“Yes?”
“I’d like to ask you something. You and Father were in an arranged marriage, right?”
“That’s correct.”
“You probably didn’t love each other at first. How did you manage married life?”
“Love, huh…”
Julian reflected briefly, then smiled softly at Lucia.
“Now that I think of it, I never told you or Lucas about our first meeting.”
Lucia realized she had never actually heard the story of her parents.
“Both I and your father married through a family-arranged match. Lucia, did you know that your father actually had someone he loved at the time?”
“What?!”
It was the first time she had heard this. Her father, who had been so devoted to her mother… had loved someone else?
“It was a one-sided love. I won’t tell you who it was.”
Lucia was very curious, but Julian spared her from hearing the name out of consideration.
“I remember what he said to me when we first met: ‘I’m sorry, but I cannot love you. My heart belongs to someone else.’”
Young Johann had bowed to Julian when they met for a formal marriage meeting.
“Father said that?”
“Hahaha! Isn’t it funny when you think about it now?”
Though it could have been hurtful, Julian couldn’t help but laugh.
“I just went to the meeting because my parents pressured me. Then suddenly he talks about love. I was initially surprised, but also found it ridiculous. ‘Do as you please. I did not come here expecting your love.’”
The conversation had no pretense, even though they had only been facing each other for less than five minutes.
“I remember your father’s face was priceless at that moment. He must not have expected me to say that. I didn’t care who he loved. I just went through with the meeting mechanically, like everyone else.”
“Really?”
Julian’s calm tone was hard to believe.
“Of course. My will didn’t matter. The marriage would have been arranged anyway. I just had to live as everyone else did.”
“But now Father is utterly devoted to Mother,” Lucia said.
Julian smiled at her words.
“Yes, now he is. But we weren’t perfect at first either. It was all mechanical dates and polite conversations with no real feelings.”
Yet Johann gradually began opening his heart to Julian.
“On the day of our engagement, the girl he had a crush on appeared. She said she liked him once, but eventually got engaged to someone else.”
“Really…?”
“Johann suddenly disappeared, and when I went to find him, I overheard him talking to the girl he loved.”
“She was furious, pretending to be upset but really trying to manipulate him. She said all sorts of things. In the end, I appeared and intervened.”
“I see…”
“Honestly, I thought he would break the engagement. But he suddenly changed his mind, stopped being swayed by her, and treated me well.”
“I see now…”
“Well, since he treated me well, I gradually opened my heart too. And that’s how I ended up having you and Lucas.”
Lucia had never imagined her parents had gone through such tumultuous times.
Though the details differed, she felt a sense of similarity to her own situation.
