TFR 33

chapter 33

Marco came into the room carrying a bottle of wine and poured it quickly into a glass. Marco, Cesario, and Gunter had decided to share a single room. They wanted to cram as many people indoors as possible.

Except for Dantes, no one had a room to themselves. Five or six to a room was the norm. Since they were big men, they could probably just lie down and sleep, but in weather this harsh it was a relief they weren’t camping outside.

“You were drinking so much last night and you’re at it again?”
Cesario clicked his tongue. Marco shrugged and flopped onto the bed.

“I can drink and keep going. What else would it be? How’s Dantes?”
“He said his head aches and he’ll sleep.”
“He’s getting a headache because he’s stubborn. The more he acts up, the more he’ll suffer.”
“Why torment him if you know that?”
“Knowing and being annoyed are different things. He’s not a child—why express it like that?”
“From Dantes’ point of view, he has every reason to feel betrayed.”

Cesario spoke as if siding with Dantes. Marco poured more wine and continued.

“You’re on Dantes’ side, so I’m on Rosellina’s side.”
“Rosellina?”
“Roberto’s original name was Rosellina.”
“That’s crazy.”

Cesario reacted as if it made him uncomfortable. He still hadn’t fully accepted that Roberto was a woman. Marco chuckled as he watched Cesario and Dantes, both helpless around the idea of a woman.

“With people like you and Dantes, who’s ever going to get married? You both tremble at the sight of a woman. Where’s the honor of a knight?”
“I’m just not lecherous like you.”

Cesario drew a firm line. Marco neither denied nor affirmed. Gunter was already snoring. He’d checked on the rear guard and the wounded, then collapsed from exhaustion.

“What about Monterno Aventurin?”
“He was squawking about wanting to see Rosellina and got locked up. They put three guards on him so he won’t be wandering near the warehouses.”
“You’re really going to keep calling him that?”
“Call him what? Rosellina?”
“You trying to provoke Dantes?”
“What, no. I just want to call him by his original name.”
“……”

Marco put his wine glass down on the table and went on.

“In a way, that fellow lost everything because of the circumstances. Even his name.”
“Say it straight. He chose that himself.”
“Thinking poverty is a choice. Such aristocratic thinking.”
“Don’t be sarcastic.”
“I’m admiring him.”
“Stop talking.”

Cesario could not understand Rosellina’s actions. From their upbringing to personality and values, they were completely different. Even during the days when they were trainee knights, the two had not been close. Now, learning that he was a woman only created more distance.

Perhaps Cesario had sensed she was a woman instinctively. He tried hard to find a reason why he couldn’t get close to Rosellina. Maybe they simply didn’t fit. Cesario admired only his swordsmanship.

“No matter what, don’t forget we must follow Dantes’ decision. Even if we were friends of Roberto—no, Rosellina—right now that person is a criminal.”
“If Dantes demanded unconditional acceptance, I’d give up being his aide. Didn’t he keep us around because we were people who’d call him out when he’s wrong?”
“But the emperor’s command is absolute.”
“Right now, emperor or no emperor, it’s hopeless.”

Marco lay back on the bed without drinking more. Cesario spoke calmly.

“Hopeless or not, he’s still the emperor. Remember that. Don’t be rude tomorrow. Don’t provoke him.”
“Yes, yes. I’ll behave.”

Marco answered as if bored and closed his eyes. Cesario was tired of meaningless divisions forming among them. Everything was Dantes’ problem to sort out. He watched the door with concern, then finally got up.

“Where are you going?”
Marco reacted to the sound of Cesario moving even with his eyes shut. Cesario replied shortly.

“To see Dantes.”
“Didn’t you say don’t touch him?”
“I won’t be like you.”

When Cesario spoke firmly, Marco let out a short, mocking laugh. Without another word, Cesario left the room and knocked on Dantes’ door.

“Dantes. You awake?”

He knocked a few times, but there was no answer. Worried, Cesario flung the door open.

“Oh.”

The room was neat as if no one had stayed there. Cesario looked at the open window. The white curtains fluttered.

“He’s become a habitual offender, this one.”

Cesario sighed and shook his head. No one could stop Dantes now.

Monterno slipped painkillers into Rosellina’s mouth. He pretended to be fighting the guards while tucking the medicine inside her tunic, gluing it so it would stick to her wrist.

Rosellina had to take it and endure — tomorrow would be another forced march. Her flesh smarted where the whip had struck.

“Ugh.”

Only when no one was around did Rosellina let out a low groan. Her soles ached as if they would split. If she had been in her original body condition, it would have been easy, but she had walked so much that her side wound had torn open. Gunter had secretly applied plenty of a hemostatic agent and tucked a bandage behind her clothes, or it would have been disastrous.

Rations were only two potatoes. Rosellina devoured both without even a sip of water. She forced herself to eat anything to recover.

Only that way could she fully accept whatever punishment Dantes imposed.

The despair that had lived in his eyes pressed down on her. She could have killed herself right then, but fleeing and ignoring his suffering felt wrong, so she changed her mind.

She had to atone.

That thought occupied Rosellina’s mind completely. She held no resentment toward Dantes. She treated her wounds as best she could and leaned against the cold wall. She was cold and hungry, but thinking it was the punishment given to her helped her endure.

She only hoped that, in punishing her, Dantes might feel even a little relief.

Her eyelids grew heavy. Normally she would wake easily at the slightest sound, but today felt different. Above all, her body wasn’t in a normal state.

‘The painkillers Monterno gave me might be stronger than the ones Dantes gave.’

Rosellina felt she could no longer resist, even if someone broke in to kill her. She was exhausted — and this was only the beginning.

A shivering chill swept through her, and she sank into a deep sleep. She vaguely heard the sound of a warehouse door opening, but she was too weak to do anything. She couldn’t even move a hand.

Dantes entered through the warehouse’s back door. The guards were scattered about, but they had collapsed from the long march.

‘Pathetic. They ought to have their heads cut off.’

The expeditionary force had never been an elite unit. While Dantes and his three companions were away from the palace, the palace was defended by knights strong enough to hold the capital without them.

Because the expedition had started at the emperor’s insistence, the task of capturing Rosellina fell to Dantes and his three. It wasn’t that the force was composed of worthless men, but as the expedition dragged on, the knights began to show their true colors.

They cooperated with Terze’s forces, tried to curry favor with Dantes, or displayed their incompetence in ways that proved only their inadequacy. Dantes was most disappointed by that. In the present circumstances, where more problems could easily arise, he couldn’t root out those with hidden agendas. It would take too long, and with the need to transport prisoners and Rosellina, it would be impractical.

So he had to push the expedition forward impatiently. With his personal feelings about Rosellina mixed in, he could not even get agreement from his closest aides, who were also his friends.

It was understandable why Gunter ground his teeth and wanted to beat them all. If Dantes had been merely a knight rather than the commander, he might have done it. But he was the man responsible for leading the troops.

He’d decided he would tolerate much until they reached Senreita. Yet seeing it with his own eyes only strengthened his distrust and disappointment. Even if the knights felt Roberto’s treatment had turned into persecution because of the emperor’s change of heart, here was a criminal captured after six years of pursuit. The handling was simply sloppy.

Dantes clicked his tongue and stepped in. The warehouse was full of cargo and dust puffed in the air. He held a lantern and walked in slowly. The warehouse was so cold inside that there was barely any temperature difference from outside. Dantes moved carefully, afraid of waking Rosellina.

The space was cramped, and he spotted her within a few steps. Her clothes were stained with blood, and she wore an exhausted, sleeping expression.

Her hands and feet were a mess, her clothes torn from the lashes.

“……”

Although he had given the orders, seeing Rosellina so utterly worn split Dantes’ thoughts. Part of him thought she deserved it, and another part thought the knights had gone too far.

“I don’t even know what to do with you.”

Dantes said the words carelessly, not lowering his voice. He wanted the light sleeper Rosellina to wake and answer him.

But Rosellina, badly wounded, seemed almost unconscious. Dantes reached out toward her. He hesitated as if to touch her body, then withdrew his hand. He set down the lantern and fell to his knees in front of her.

“Say anything to me. Roberto. Please.”

He wanted to cry out to be freed from the torment that made him want to smash his own head. He thought Rosellina might know the answer to why he felt so desperate and what he wanted to do.

But Rosellina’s mouth remained tightly shut as always, and Dantes felt swallowed by increasing despair.

‘I can’t kill you, and I can’t save you either. I don’t know if the person I loved was ever real or just an illusion. What am I supposed to do?’

Dantes fell into despair for a long time, completely at a loss about how to handle her.