TDSM 02

Chapter – 02

After patting Aiden on the shoulder for quite a while, I awkwardly pulled my hand back and said goodbye.

“I’m going to head off now.”

“Okay. Don’t wander off anywhere and get some rest at the dorm.”

After exchanging a brief farewell with Aiden, I stepped out of the ward and saw Ignis standing there as usual.

Now’s probably not the best time to see him… There’s no hiding spot anywhere either.

I took a small breath and decided to acknowledge him.

“Ignis.”

“Ah, Lenia. Are you okay now?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Ignis grabbed my arm with hands that were unusually cold, his expression full of concern from having been outside for a long time.

…Surely he didn’t wait here until I came out, did he?

Knowing his usually kind and thoughtful personality, I asked him nervously.

“…Did you wait here this whole time for me?”

“I’m the one who hurt you, so I can’t just stay comfortable.”

“But… why in such a cold place…?”

“Not cold at all. I’m fine.”

Silly.

Hearing his words, I let out a bitter smile.

“You shouldn’t be that kind to just anyone. People might misunderstand you.”

“But Lenia isn’t just anyone to me.”

…What?

“We’re friends, after all.”

“Right. Because we’re friends.”

Ignis, where on earth is your sense of awareness? How is it that you’re the only one who hasn’t noticed that I like you? Oh, and there’s Liliana too.

Is it some rule that the main male and female leads are always oblivious? Well, thinking about it, Adam didn’t notice either, so if Sierra hadn’t told him, he wouldn’t have known.

“Lenia!”

While I was lost in such thoughts, I heard my name called loudly from afar.

“I heard you got hurt fighting with Ignis. Are you okay?”

“Class just ended, so I’m a little late. Are you badly hurt?”

Sierra and Adam approached me and Ignis, each speaking a line.

“I’m fine.”

“…….”

Hearing me, Sierra looked concerned.

“You seem unusually calm today. Are you not feeling well?”

“No… it’s nothing like that. I guess I’m just a bit tired.”

“Really? Then you should rest quickly.”

“Yeah. I’ll head off first. Thanks for worrying about me.”

I said that and quickly walked toward the dorm. Being around the others made my confusing emotions threaten to bring me to tears, so I didn’t slow my pace at all, and as a result, I reached the dorm faster than usual.

Once at the dorm, I collapsed onto my bed, exhausted, and closed my eyes.

No matter who called me, I pretended to be asleep, letting my thoughts drift without caring how time passed.

Suddenly recovering memories of my past life, combined with the story I knew, threw me into confusion.

First, I was caught in an identity crisis—am I really the me from my past life, or am I the current Lenia?

…If I’m going to remember, shouldn’t the story’s details all come back too?

Even though I remembered everything about my past life, the story knowledge in my head only covered my death and the overall framework, leaving me even more disoriented.

I would have preferred not remembering anything about my past life. It was too dreadful to think about.

The only relief was knowing the novel had a happy ending.

Lost in thought, I realized the sun had already risen and filled the sky outside.

Another night without sleep.

“This is so confusing… so confusing.”

What should I do?

Even after staying up for two nights, I still couldn’t figure out how to handle this situation.

No, more accurately, I knew exactly what I should do, but I was avoiding it.

…What should I do? I have to give up on Ignis.

“Yes. This is the only way, so why am I even thinking so much about it?”

I barely lived twenty years in my past life. This time, I need to survive longer and safer.

And… I have to make sure that, unlike the story’s Lenia, I never join the dark magic organization and drive innocent people to death.

At least I’m glad that my actions here weren’t any different from those of my past self.

Unknowingly, I had lived influenced by my past life all along.

…Then why am I crying again?

Tears welled up in my eyes once more and fell in transparent drops.

“…Are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m fine. Why?”

“Are you really okay?”

Well… after staying up for two nights, my under-eyes are dark and swollen, and from crying just now, my eyes are puffed up.

…Still, I have to push through.

“I’m really fine. Maybe my eyes are swollen because I slept too much.”

“Lenia! Sierra!”

“…Liliana.”

I smiled brightly as Liliana approached, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet her gaze and lowered my head.

Seeing me like that, Sierra came closer and whispered.

“Did something happen between you and Liliana?”

“…….”

I shook my head and denied it as she looked at me suspiciously.

“No, nothing happened between me and Liliana.”

“Then why are you avoiding eye contact and lowering your head?”

Why is she so perceptive?

Do I say it’s because Ignis and Liliana are destined to like each other?

…But there’s no sign of them liking each other yet, so she wouldn’t believe that.

The longer I hesitated, the narrower Sierra’s eyes became, suspicion in her gaze.

Ugh, I don’t know.

“Liliana’s shining so much this morning. Do you think that’s normal?”

“…….”

“That brightness makes me look away.”

I gave her a shameless answer. Sierra looked at me like she couldn’t believe it.

Lucky timing. Behind Liliana, the sun was shining brightly, illuminating her perfectly.

“Lenia!”

“Uh… Liliana.”

“Why are your eyes so swollen?”

Liliana touched the warmth under my eyes with her fingers.

I tensed slightly at the cold touch and replied,

“Ah… I guess it’s from sleeping too much.”

“Want me to cover them with my hands? My hands are cold.”

Liliana gently covered my eyes with both her hands.

Her actions caused a sharp sting in my chest.

I stood there, unable to do anything.

“Ignis! Good morning.”

“Yeah. You too, Liliana. But why are you covering Lenia’s eyes?”

“Oh, Lenia’s eyes are swollen.”

The conversation between Ignis and Liliana in the darkness sounded clearer than ever to me.

Listening to them made me want to escape immediately.

A dark emotion I had been suppressing surged violently.

“I… think I left something behind.”

“Really? Then should we go together? I still have time.”

“No, it’s fine, Liliana. I’ll go alone.”

I pushed Liliana’s hands away and smiled faintly at them, forcing myself to move quickly.

The faster I walked, the less I heard their conversation.

Still, the fluttering emotion inside me continued to dominate my heart.

“Ah…!”

As I rushed forward, I twisted my ankle and fell to the ground.

Unable to even think about standing up, my mind replayed the scene of Ignis and Liliana together just moments ago.

I sat there blankly for a while, staring into the void.

Thinking about it, it was natural for them to fall in love. Ignis and Liliana were warmer and gentler than anyone else.

Yet even thinking this, I couldn’t focus all day at the dorm or the academy, spending my time blankly.

“Lenia, focus.”

“Ah, yes! Sorry.”

Even being scolded by the professor, I drifted back into deep thought, staring at Ignis’s back.

How can I stop liking him?

Maybe imagining him doing something slightly annoying will help.

Yes, that could be easy.

Let’s imagine those behaviors.

First… imagine Ignis cries over trivial things…

That’s cute, though.

No, no. Focus.

Then… imagine Ignis constantly complains and can’t solve small problems on his own…

Ah, that’s not so bad.

The first time I thought he was somewhat annoying, I felt a strange happiness and smiled faintly.

Yes. If I keep imagining things like this, I’ll probably be okay.

“Lenia. Class is over.”

“Ah, you scared me!”

“…….”

“…Ignis?”

“Let’s go together.”

Ignis stood up, holding out his hand with a gentle smile, signaling for me to rise.

I almost reached for his hand as if hypnotized, but I pulled back.

If I accept this, giving up on him will only become harder.

Surprised, he widened his eyes, then smiled gently again.

“…Shall we go?”

“Yes. Let’s go.”