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Chapter 39
Flash.
“……”
We didn’t know when or how we had fallen asleep, but we woke up with a jolt as if someone had shaken us awake.
We sat up straight in bed, instantly scanning our surroundings.
There wasn’t much furniture, but the place was familiar.
Home.
Once again, we had no idea when or how we had gotten here.
Relief washed over us for a fleeting moment, and we let out a breath. But then—
Clatter.
“……!”
Though our blurred vision couldn’t make out much, we instinctively scrambled to the edge of the bed, desperate to escape.
Our breathing quickened. The raw instinct to run away left our palms sweating in no time.
Perhaps she hadn’t completely escaped that moment. Maybe she had shoved everything that happened with that lunatic deep down where she couldn’t see it, couldn’t think about it, convincing herself it was nothing.
And then the airport became a trigger that cracked it all open.
But what steadied our faltering self was the soft voice that brushed against our ear.
[No one can hurt you.]
[Because I won’t let them.]
Like magic, the voice wiped away her fear. The anxiety that had clung to her vanished, as if mocking itself.
It wasn’t forced calmness—it really did feel like nothing had happened at all.
The dark room, the still silence—it all suddenly felt peaceful and safe.
Her tense body loosened, her shaken vision steadied.
And with the fear ebbing away, memories flooded back—clear and sharp.
All of them.
“Ah……”
She buried her face in her hands, which had been clutching the blanket.
“Damn it.”
The terror and dread were gone, and now every nerve screamed his name—Ha Yoon-jae.
Her palms pressed to her face felt hot, as though someone had set her aflame and was fanning the fire.
“Ah, crap—no, ah, seriously.”
The frightened woman from moments ago was gone; now she threw herself onto the bed, flailing in a completely different kind of panic.
No, no, no!
Why did it have to be so vivid?
Normally, people in that much of a panic would lose memories—but she remembered everything, perfectly, from the moment she woke until the moment she slept again.
Even just thinking about the airport instantly brought back that moment.
The moment Yoon-jae had taken her hand, pulled her close, and kissed her softly.
“Ughhhhhh!”
She buried her face in the blanket and screamed into it, muffling the sound so it wouldn’t leak outside.
Then, breathless, she stilled.
Clutching the blanket, she forced herself to calm down, groping around for her glasses. Thankfully, they were on the bedside table.
“Okay. Good.”
With her vision clear again, she sat cross-legged, arms folded, mind racing.
Her thoughts spun quickly—maybe thanks to an uninterrupted night’s sleep.
And soon, a strategy came.
“Wait—it was first aid. That’s all. I couldn’t breathe, I was struggling, so he helped me. Right? Yeah—like CPR.”
Talking herself into it.
But it wasn’t exactly a lie.
It was a plausible explanation.
She nodded firmly, convincing herself.
“Yes, there’s no other reason. That’s all it was.”
It was self-brainwashing, sure—but that didn’t matter right now.
With renewed courage, she rolled out of bed.
Thud-thud-thud.
Her body felt as light as her clear head.
Okay. Let’s go. Just act natural. Say hi casually.
She didn’t know if Yoon-jae was even outside, but it was better to be prepared.
Finger-combing her hair, she opened the door and stepped out with what she hoped looked like calm confidence.
She even rehearsed contingency plans.
If we meet, greet him naturally. Thank him. If he asks if you’re okay, say yes thanks to him. If he asks why—
Clink.
A soft sound cut off her thoughts.
“……”
It was the sound of Yoon-jae setting his coffee cup down on the table—rarely, he was sitting on the living room sofa, reading a book.
They’d met.
Step one, plan initiated.
“Good mor—”
“You look fine.”
Oh. She hadn’t planned for him to speak first.
And though it was nothing more than a throwaway comment, it threw her rhythm completely off.
Awkwardly, she rubbed the kitchen counter.
“Uh, yeah… I slept well. Ah—what about your flight? Your schedule?”
“Postponed.”
He answered casually, flipping a page.
Even the way he sipped coffee seemed effortlessly calm—exactly the poise she had wanted for herself.
Feeling awkward, she asked carefully,
“Because of me, right?”
“Yeah.”
“……Was it urgent?”
“I’ll leave on the early morning flight.”
He said it so nonchalantly, as though losing an entire day was nothing.
That casualness pricked at her chest, and she bit her lip—only for him to speak first again.
“Still want to keep playing secretary?”
“A-ah, no. That’s enough.”
Her attempt at roleplay had ended in embarrassing failure.
She shuffled closer, guilt tugging, and offered a late apology.
“I’m sorry—for messing up your plans. People were probably waiting for you… and if something important for the company—”
“There were no ruined plans, and it wasn’t company business. Don’t worry.”
His usual indifferent tone gave weight to his words—it really wasn’t a big deal.
Still, if it wasn’t work, then where had he been going by plane? That question lingered, though she shoved it aside.
“That’s a relief. Honestly, the things that happen to me…”
With an exaggerated laugh, she turned to the kitchen, filling a glass of water.
“Thank you, really! You saved me. I couldn’t breathe at all, it was terrifying. But thanks to you giving me CPR—”
“CPR?”
She lifted the full glass to her lips.
“Yes, that. CPR. Exactly.”
I’m calm. It was just a kiss, nothing more.
She kept her face as neutral as possible, answering casually—
But then silence pressed in.
“……”
His wordless stare was more suffocating than the water she was trying to swallow.
At last, he spoke.
“You don’t usually use tongue in CPR.”
“Pfft—!”
Water sprayed everywhere.
She turned to him, water dripping from her chin, only to see him as calm as ever, dropping bombs while reading a book.
That—That bastard.
His insufferable composure made her flare with anger—yet also stirred something competitive.
Where did that confidence come from? Was he really that unaffected?
Frustration mixed with curiosity as she wiped her mouth.
And then the question burst out before she could stop it.
“Then why did you?”
Her rational mind lost to her instincts.
He looked at her, meeting her eyes in silence.
For a long moment, their gazes locked.
Then he asked, utterly shamelessly:
“Do you want to know?”
Her heart lurched.
His unique gaze, always carrying a glint of light, sent a tremor through her chest.
Her ears burned. She hurriedly turned away, lifting the glass again.
Stop. Enough. Drop it.
She forced her gaze elsewhere.
“No. I don’t want to know. Don’t say anything. I don’t care. So just… don’t care, either.”
She chose to run.
Any answer would only complicate things.
Better not to hear at all.
Who knew what he would say? It was already too much thinking about it alone in her room.
As she desperately avoided the subject, Yoon-jae closed his book.
He stood, carrying his empty cup to the kitchen, stopping in front of her.
“I do need to care about one thing.”
“…What?”
“Why you collapsed at the airport.”
Ah. She hadn’t thought that far.
But it was a natural question—after all, she’d been fine enough to drive, then suddenly collapsed.
She steadied her breath. The thought made her shiver—but this time, it didn’t choke her.
Strangely, she was okay.
Gulp.
She swallowed and answered plainly.
“I was scared.”
“……”
“It felt like someone was choking me. Like I couldn’t breathe. That’s all.”
“Did someone hurt you?”
“No. Not today. It just… happened.”
Not today?
The phrasing snagged in his mind. His brows knit, then smoothed again.
She bowed her head politely as he set his cup down.
“Thank you—for sparing me from showing such a pathetic sight.”
It was a sincere, almost formal expression of gratitude, her faint smile clear of ulterior motives.
And when he saw the glimmer of moisture on her lips, his heartbeat kicked out of control.
“……”
Yoon-jae barely restrained the urge clawing up from inside.
There were no right answers to questions like these. He suppressed his restless thoughts, gazing down at her flushed face.
Her cheeks were red, her complexion pale from a day of sleep.
“What? Do I have something on my face? Why are you—”
Her words broke off when his large hand pressed to her forehead, covering her eyes.
Her eyes widened.
His hand lingered, then pulled away.
“Stay still.”
“……”
“That’s your job right now.”
He hadn’t been asking.
Without waiting for a reply, he stepped away—only to pause, take something from his pocket, and set it on the table.
Car keys.
“Take them.”
And then he left.
Neither fast nor slow—just out of sight.
She stood frozen, staring blankly after him, then slumped against the sink, hand clutching her racing chest.
Even alone, her heartbeat refused to calm.
“…I must be crazy.”
It had to be an illness. It had to be.
Only then could she explain this fever spreading from her forehead through her whole body.
She turned her gaze silently toward the study where Yoon-jae had disappeared and shouted in her heart:
What else did you put in me besides your tongue, Ha Yoon-jae?!
