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Chapter 5
You Are Not Your Child
“Your Highness, General Kalia has arrived.”
At the guard’s words, Kalia sensed movement beyond the door. Even without raising her senses in a tense state, her sharp ears could read the crown prince’s movements.
‘…So he’s already standing.’
She heard the sound of a chair being pulled out, but there was no immediate command for her to enter.
In that brief silence, Kalia clenched and released her dry palms, inflating her chest. She drew a deep breath that filled her lungs.
She was not easily nervous, but today was different.
Retirement.
It hadn’t been a long career, but she had been a knight and had always risked her life in battle. Even before the full-scale war broke out, she had repeatedly thrown herself into danger to protect the crown prince.
She was still young.
She wasn’t exhausted, but if necessary, she could lay everything down. After all, a soldier like her would no longer be needed in this country.
In truth, Kalia felt a sense of relief at that.
She had drawn her sword to protect, but the blood shed during that process had never been hers alone.
The horrific moments under the name of war, when even humans had to kill each other. The screaming eyes, the eruptions of cries, and the hatred-filled gazes.
Because of the war, someone had lost a father, someone a mother, someone a child.
Although she had never deliberately looked away, her sword and her army had certainly taken innocent lives.
She did not regret it.
There was something she needed to protect.
If she did not strike, the enemy would have annihilated ‘us.’ The best she could do was to end the war as quickly as possible to minimize death.
That was why Kalia had thrown herself into danger and, even after nearly dying, had cut down the enemy commander.
‘But that is all in the past now.’
Kalia stared at the closed door with a face still stained by the fatigue of battle.
Soon, a voice commanded her to enter.
She pushed open the heavy wooden door herself and stepped inside. In front of her, sitting at a large oak desk, was Louimond, looking directly at her.
As always, he smiled gently and called her name.
“Kalia.”
“Your Highness.”
Kalia gave a light bow toward Louimond, and her tied-up lemon-colored hair rippled like waves.
During the war, she had tied her hair down and rounded it neatly, but now it swayed with her movements, briefly drawing Louimond’s gaze before he looked away.
With a crown prince’s gentle smile, he spoke to her.
“So, come in. I thought it was your day off—what brings you here?”
“I apologize for the sudden visit. I was a bit urgent.”
“If you’ve come personally at this hour, it must be important… Shall we move somewhere else?”
Kalia stopped Louimond as he rose and took a step forward herself.
“No, it’s not that long of a matter.”
“Is that so? Then I’m curious what you want to say.”
Louimond sat back comfortably in his chair, rolling a pen in his hand with a playful, relaxed air, his curiosity evident.
The high-quality fountain pen spun quickly on his fingers. Louimond’s casual manner, lounging in a springy chair while playing with a pen, gave no hint of the strong punch soon to come.
Bright sunlight poured into the study through the window, without any curtains drawn.
Kalia breathed calmly, letting the white sunlight breaking through the sheer curtains fill her.
Her decision was already made, and it would not change—but a small pang of guilt rose as she faced the crown prince. She had intended to support him until he became emperor…
She had believed without doubt that even when he became emperor, she and Shaimon would guard his back.
‘…Once things settle down, I will definitely return.’
Perhaps in a year at the earliest, maybe longer. But when the crown prince needed her, Kalia would return to support him—without fail.
Louimond waited patiently for Kalia, who unusually hesitated.
Since the incident when she lost an arm while saving him, his face had always seemed as if it could accept anything from her.
Kalia looked into his blue eyes for a long moment and slowly spoke.
“I’ve come to request my retirement.”
The pen spinning in Louimond’s hand stopped.
After a brief silence, he tilted his head as if he had misheard, his expression curiously furrowed.
“I think I just heard something strange…”
“No. You heard correctly. I said I want to retire.”
The pen finally fell from his fingers with a clatter, rolling across the desk and landing with a thud on the floor.
Kalia picked it up, walked lightly over to the stunned crown prince, and gently placed it before him, adding,
“I hope it can happen as soon as possible.”
Bang!
Startled, Louimond’s chair tipped backward as he sprang up. In his haste, his steps tangled as he moved around the desk. Kalia instinctively caught him, supporting his waist before he could slip.
“Are you alright?”
Louimond, staring blankly at her close face, suddenly stood upright.
“I-I’m fine, Kalia! But what was that? Retirement?!”
Kalia, pale-faced, looked at him apologetically.
How angry must he be that even the usually composed crown prince stammered like that?
Tsk, she clicked her tongue regretfully and tried to step back, but Louimond grabbed her forearm.
“Why?! Why all of a sudden?”
“I want to rest.”
“Oh, Kalia! If you needed a break, you should have said so.”
“No. I want to retire.”
Louimond, as if ignoring her calm refusal, tried to coax her.
“Do you want to travel somewhere? The palace will cover all costs. Where do you want to go? Just say it, Kalia.”
Kalia politely shook her head.
“No, that’s not necessary.”
“Then is it something about the royal family that upset you? Tell me. Who? Ah, Shaimon! That guy, right? I knew it! You two have been acting strangely these past couple months! That’s it, isn’t it?”
Of course, the incident with Shaimon two months ago had contributed to her decision, but it was not the sole reason. Even if Shaimon were responsible, she could never tell the crown prince, “I’m carrying his child.”
Kalia lowered her eyes, awkward, and subconsciously touched her lower abdomen.
To be honest, she hadn’t felt anything yet. Not vivid, not real—just a faint, tiny joy and thrill. But she wanted to hold onto it: the small hope of giving birth, of having her own family.
“I need time to live peacefully.”
“Time?”
“Yes. Although I’ve said ‘retirement’ grandly… I will return whenever Your Highness needs me. But that won’t be soon.”
“….”
“I want to leave.”
The empire’s most celebrated war hero suddenly declared retirement. She had announced she wanted to leave the palace and him overnight.
Louimond, shocked, forced himself to remain composed as he tried to think clearly.
‘…What could the reason be?’
Squinting at her for any clue, he could read nothing from her straight-lipped, calm expression.
Finally frustrated, he asked weakly,
“Why did you make this decision all of a sudden?”
“I cannot speak in detail. But I swear, it is not betrayal to the nation or the royal family.”
“…Kalia, I have never once thought you would betray me.”
Louimond’s words, gritted through his teeth, made Kalia smile faintly. It was an honor to be trusted by her lord.
She hesitated briefly, recalling the answer she had thought of while riding in the carriage. She could not speak in full detail, but she needed to say enough.
“I am going to have a family.”
“…What did you just say?”
For the first time since entering the room, Kalia smiled at Louimond, whose lips were agape in shock.
“My family.”
It was a smile that made Louimond feel as if she had the world in her hands.
*
With a soft click, Kalia left the closed door behind and walked lightly down the hallway.
‘Good. That hurdle is over.’
Saying it aloud felt refreshingly relieving. The sky had darkened, but the hallway was bright with magical lights.
The rainy season would start soon. In the months before, days were short and nights long. The empire’s rainy season was brief but intense—about 2-3 weeks of constant dark skies and rain. Crops rotted without protection, and villages near water could be flooded. The magic department worked tirelessly to minimize damage nationwide.
‘I have to leave before the rainy season. Once it starts, it’s impossible.’
So Kalia had to decide quickly.
‘There’s a lot to prepare. First… I probably need to meet Shaimon.’
Guards patrolling, knights on each floor, and servants all respectfully bowed to her as she passed. Kalia had grown used to their admiring greetings, smoothly nodding back. Most nobles ignored servants, but Kalia never had. She was never a noble, so she had no interest in haughty aristocratic pride.
‘…But soon I’ll have to say goodbye even to this view.’
Kalia descended the stairs slowly. Normally, she stepped firmly, but today she had extra force at her toes.
‘Such unnecessarily high stairs… no wonder palace staff end up so lean.’
As she passed the window beside the stairs, her eyes caught something sparkling in the bright moonlight.
She instinctively approached the window, gazing at a pale, beautiful man with silver-white hair, glowing under the moon.
Dressed simply in a loose shirt and pants, he carried an elegance that was both sharp and delicate.
Standing in the center of the rose garden between the mage tower and the main palace, he casually had his hands in his pockets, gazing at the moonlit sky.
As if inhaling fragrance, breathing the night air, or staring at the moon.
That man was none other than the empire’s sole Mage Duke and the father of Kalia’s unborn child—the young head of the empire’s magic department.
