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chapter 39
“Assistant Manager.”
“Yes! Where would you like to go?”
Only then did Changmin lift his eyes from his phone screen and look at Yoona. The favorites marked on his map application must have numbered in the hundreds. Yoona calmly met Changmin’s expectant gaze and continued speaking.
“Please tell me if I’m mistaken. I’ll apologize if I am.”
“…I… what do you mean…”
“Is it because you’re favorably inclined toward me that you expect more than just bulk orders privately?”
“….”
Changmin, who usually spoke a lot, fell silent. His face turned bright red with embarrassment, and he barely managed to move his lips.
“Th-That… I wasn’t sure what to say because you suddenly came at me like this…”
Yoona patiently waited as Changmin fumbled. Finally, letting out a deep sigh and scratching his head, he spoke.
“I may be good at pleasing my boss, but I’m terrible at relationships. I’m not even sure if I’ve been doing it properly… but the reason you’re thinking… is correct.”
“…I see.”
“I never intended to say it like this… and in front of a chicken soup restaurant too…”
Judging by his reaction, Yoona realized that Changmin’s feelings were more serious than she expected. She felt a bit sorry. Yet from experience, she knew how painful it could become if emotions grew any further.
“I can’t meet your expectations.”
“….”
“I know how much effort you’ve put in for my business, and I’m truly grateful. But that’s as far as it goes. I’m sorry.”
Feeling that she had spoken clearly, Yoona bowed politely. She felt no lingering attachment even if no more orders came. Now that she had confirmed his intentions, she even questioned whether he had truly liked the drinks he had ordered in the first place.
As Yoona straightened up to leave, Changmin grabbed her.
“Uh, um. Boss! I understand that you don’t have feelings for me right now. But if you think I requested the meeting drinks out of personal interest, that’s a misunderstanding. Well, the first order might have had a little personal interest, but it was really because it was delicious… and nowadays, you’ve been looking for it anyway…”
He babbled, holding her back. But realizing he was digging himself into a hole, he soon confessed his true feelings.
“Ah, anyway! So, the business will probably continue, but… is there… no… chance… in the future…?”
In Changmin’s trembling eyes, Yoona saw Youngwon. When he asked why she hadn’t spoken before, his voice had been tense. She had vaguely recognized that sign but chose to ignore it.
Had she drawn firm boundaries back then, as she did now, Youngwon wouldn’t have experienced the embarrassment of being rejected in front of so many people.
All the times she had vaguely sensed his feelings now swirled in Yoona’s mind. Reflecting on these moments of regret, she realized the direction of her regret was actually the opposite. It was because, during those times, she also recalled the emotions she herself felt.
If only she had looked honestly at her own heart sooner, would things have been different?
Carefully removing Changmin’s hand from her arm, Yoona spoke.
“…I like someone.”
“….”
Once more, Yoona bowed apologetically, leaving Changmin standing dumbfounded, and walked away.
Rushing home instead of going to a café, the hot, humid air weighed heavily on Yoona. Every step felt as if she were sinking into sand.
Now that she had spoken that she liked someone, her own feelings became painfully clear. The notes she had stacked one by one were now compiled into a single book.
The author: Han Yoona. The editor: Choi Youngwon, who polished and corrected even the emotions she herself hadn’t fully understood. The title: Untitled.
No, perhaps the correct phrasing was that it must remain untitled. Even knowing she liked him, what could she do further?
Even if rumors about Han Yoona had subsided, even if her reputation improved and she made many friends, her past could never be erased. For instance, the title of a divorcee.
She didn’t think divorce was such a serious crime that it would prevent one from dating again. But Yoona wanted Youngwon to have a normal romantic life—enjoying what people their age could enjoy.
She wished for him a partner with whom he could share fresh, innocent excitement—not a woman who had experienced both the best and worst extremes of relationships through marriage and divorce.
Since she liked Youngwon, it was natural to wish him to see only the good and hold only the beautiful things.
“…Ah…”
Yoona came back to herself when she bumped shoulders with someone running. Looking around, she saw people rushing for shelter from the rain. The downpour had grown heavy.
She raised her hand. Thick raindrops fell onto her palm. While she could never catch a single flower petal, she could gather these raindrops effortlessly. Water collected in the center of her hand.
Perhaps it wasn’t her first love, but Youngwon had liked her when she caught the petals. Yet she couldn’t reciprocate, so maybe it was fitting that she gripped dusty raindrops instead. Clutching the shallow puddle tightly, Yoona continued walking forward.
The rain grew heavier. Her loosely tied hair began to droop. The weight of her simple dress increased as it absorbed water. Though soaked, she had no energy to buy an umbrella. She just held her bag tightly.
Loud love songs blared from brightly lit shops lining the darkened streets. Despite the rain, the music was audible.
Walking blankly through the crowd, Yoona eventually reached an officetel building. Water dripped from her onto the marble floor, forming a puddle as she stood before the elevator. Only then did she open her tightly clenched hands. The raindrops had vanished, leaving a thin film of moisture on which her own reflection shimmered.
“….”
Not a delicate flower, but could this rain bring love to fruition? Was it impossible because it wasn’t first love? Or perhaps because it wasn’t beautiful or lasting?
Even as she thought of all the reasons it might fail, she longed to see Youngwon. The thought of never seeing him again was too sad, even though she had only lived as a stranger for just over a month.
“…You’re really ridiculous.”
She wasn’t a tragic lover torn apart by death after a millennium of love. Yet she felt her heart ache for someone she had only known for a year, whom she hadn’t seen for just a month. Since meeting him in the library, the longing she had barely held back had burst like a dam breaking.
Suppressing her feelings without speaking would rot her inside. She couldn’t live like this any longer. Whether it was guilt over rejecting his confession or another reason, she still didn’t have a clear answer.
Even now, she was unsure if saying she liked him was the right choice. Yet, stepping into the elevator, Yoona pressed the button for Youngwon’s floor.
She intended to try just once. If he wasn’t home, she would turn around and leave without looking back. She would never appear in front of him again.
When the elevator doors opened, Yoona hesitated before stepping out. Despite her earlier resolve, she feared Youngwon might not be home. Taking unusually small, slow steps, she reached his door.
“…But what should I say?”
Just as this last-minute worry struck, the door suddenly swung open without her even pressing the doorbell. Startled, Yoona stepped back.
Naturally, it was Youngwon. Seeing Yoona standing before him, soaked like a drowned mouse, his brow furrowed.
“…Boss?”
“…Youngwon.”
A raindrop fell from Yoona’s dress onto the floor.
