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Chapter : 3
Looking at Me Like You Want Me to Ruin You
“Uh, um… are you perhaps together?”
“…….”
“Oh, no! I must have mistaken you for someone else. I’m sorry.”
The maids quickly gave up and left.
“Hey, let’s just go. Come here. Hurry.”
They gave up far sooner than expected.
Charlof soon realized why.
The smell of blood was strong. What crossed his grip was a scar that hadn’t even fully healed yet.
He turned his body slightly. Charlof knew him well.
‘The deposed crown prince, Benjamin Visennov.’
The man branded a monster for killing even his own family and relatives, and who would later become the Fifth Emperor with the strongest imperial authority.
People said that Benjamin could not ascend the throne because his supporters were weak.
That assessment was half right and half wrong.
It was true his faction was weak, but he killed his family and relatives and seized the throne himself.
“You could at least let go of my clothes.”
Benjamin looked down at her and reached out, his hand closing around her slender wrist.
“Aren’t you fearless, coming here alone?”
With a light motion, he brushed away Charlof’s hand. Though she was a stranger to him, he showed no wariness at all.
‘Why?’
Benjamin spoke as if he already knew Charlof.
“Aren’t you from the Windsor family?”
“……You can tell?”
Benjamin reached out and slipped her shawl off.
“After seeing that hair, it’d be stranger not to know….”
Crimson hair spilled down in soft waves. Only after gripping a handful of it did Charlof realize.
Windsor blood ran thick in her veins. The red hair flowing down past her waist was proof.
“Your guardian’s coming. Don’t go poking around here—just go home.”
Leaving only those words, Benjamin walked away.
Charlof lowered the hand she’d helplessly stretched out. When she turned around, a maid sent by the Windsor family came running into the alley. It was Becky, the maid Aster had assigned to accompany her.
“Miss! You scared me half to death. How could you just disappear like that?”
By the time Charlof turned back again, Benjamin was gone.
It felt as though she’d been bewitched.
She stood blankly, staring past the alley. There was no one there. Even his presence had vanished.
“Miss, what are you doing here alone?”
“I thought I saw someone, but I guess I was mistaken.”
Charlof looked down at the bouquet.
She clenched it tightly, bending the chrysanthemum stems.
“Did he disappear?”
She didn’t answer, only brushed her hair back.
“What on earth did you do to your palm? The skin’s completely shredded. Did you crush it so badly you thought you might as well cut off your wrist?”
“Shut your mouth.”
Benjamin covered the chattering man’s mouth. It really was torn to shreds.
“I tried to cut off a tail after the Empress caught wind of me, and nearly ended up cutting off my own wrist instead.”
With the Emperor bedridden, the palace had fallen into chaos.
Even lying sick, he clung to power, burying his head beneath the Empress’s dress—so wretched there was no need to describe it.
“And what about that arm? It’s torn up too. Before you even inherit the throne, your life might be hanging by a thread. Am I wrong? It looks like a piece of paper soaked in water. Are you planning to tear it apart completely?”
“How about you just hold a funeral and pray for my death?”
At Roskella’s biting sarcasm, Benjamin clicked his tongue.
Roskella was his strategist, gathering information inside and outside the palace. Though dressed neatly in a suit, his tongue was sharp.
He grabbed a bandage at random and handed it over. When he lit a candle to see, the wound was deeper than expected.
As Benjamin wrapped the bandage, he recalled the woman he had just seen.
The hem of a red dress flickered before his eyes. A simple outfit without lace—perhaps that was why she looked even more subdued.
A languid sense of unease enveloped him, like sticky mud trying to drag him underground.
“Does the Windsor family have anyone besides the head and his two sons?”
“There was one more—Cosette Windsor, daughter of Duke Leandro. But I believe her funeral was held a week ago. Other than that, I don’t think there are any, except perhaps distant branches.”
Benjamin waved his hand, saying that was enough.
“Since neither of them had children, it’s fair to say the direct line is almost extinct.”
The morning came when her mother’s ashes would be buried.
Charlof stood before the gravestone and tossed the chrysanthemums onto the grave.
“Goodbye, Mother.”
This would be her final farewell.
She watched until the urn was buried again. Her bloodshot eyes folded gently.
I’ll remember everything. I’ll carve it all into my mind.
She placed the flowers atop the urn, and the servants scattered soil over it.
“Goodbye.”
When the urn was completely buried, her dry gaze followed the trace of her mother beneath the earth.
“Are you all right?”
Aster approached and asked.
Was I ever all right? My feelings were always last.
“Yes.”
If I were truly fine, I’d be crazy.
“I’m fine.”
If she didn’t say that, she felt her bottom would show through.
I’m smiling because I’m fine right now.
So don’t dare pity me. Before this grave, even if I’m not fine, I have to be.
That’s Charlof Tutyer.
The only comfort she could offer, carrying that damned surname.
“Do you like your room?”
Aster knew she had nowhere to go, so he’d prepared one for her at the Windsor estate.
In that way too, he resembled her mother—able to read people’s insides with just a glance.
“I like it. Thank you for your consideration, Uncle. I’m staying comfortably.”
“You even resemble Cosette in ways you don’t need to.”
“In what way?”
“That look—one only someone who’s given something up would make. Whenever she let something go, she’d always have that gaze.”
Charlof brushed back her red hair and looked ahead.
The gates of the Windsor estate opened, and an unfamiliar carriage came in. When a man drenched in blood stepped out, the servants groaned.
“Oh dear. What state is he in this time…!”
“Your Highness….”
“He’s come back covered in blood again. The master will be furious. I’ll go inform him.”
The man had just gotten down. Wearing a night cloak, he gripped his arm and tore his shirt.
“Miss.”
“Yes?”
“Shall I escort you to your room?”
Charlof shook her head, refusing. Her eyes were fixed on the familiar stranger.
One of his arms was completely crushed, flesh torn by a blade. She gasped softly.
‘The deposed crown prince, Benjamin Visennov.’
Their eyes met. Just as his black gaze fixed on her, someone completely blocked her view.
“Uncle?”
Aster pulled her behind him, shielding her.
“Your Highness, where have you injured yourself this time? You never knew how precious your own body was, as a child or now.”
Looking troubled, Aster hid Charlof more carefully. Yet even then, he didn’t know.
Charlof and Benjamin had already met before.
Benjamin had recognized her too. His gaze settled lightly on her, then slowly lifted away.
“We meet again.”
Benjamin greeted her briefly. It was Aster who was startled.
“You know this child?”
“Once before… Is she your daughter, Aster?”
“No. She’s my late sister’s child. She’ll be staying here. Charl, go to your room.”
Aster bristled like someone protecting a newborn chick from a weasel. Benjamin withdrew his gaze from her and met Aster’s eyes.
“I hope I’m not being an inconvenience at this hour.”
“Not at all. But, my goodness… did you cut off an arm or something?”
“There was an ambush. I thought I’d get treated here. Is that all right?”
Charlof spoke while watching him closely.
“Your Highness, shouldn’t you treat your arm first? It’d be best to call a physician.”
Uncle.
Her murmured voice sank softly.
We silently looked at each other—the deposed crown prince Benjamin.
The man who would kill all his family and become the sole bloodline of the imperial family.
The Fifth Emperor her father had hated most.
The name alone had driven him into fits, spitting toward the palace.
And now, that man was smiling.
‘Hello.’
She met Benjamin again in the afternoon.
Strangely, he was gentle with Charlof. It turned out it was because she belonged to the Windsor family.
He had long been close with them, coming and going from the estate as if it were his own home.
“Charlolf, was it?”
“Yes.”
“Figures. Even at first glance, I could tell. Every Windsor has a strong sense of self. Even when cowed, you can see it—your head lifting proudly.”
Benjamin stared at her. His languid aura coiled around her like a snake.
He was born with the bearing of a ruler.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Are your wounds all treated?”
“More or less.”
Ah. Now I see why Father hated him.
‘Anyone would feel uneasy.’
He stands at the very top.
“You look like you’re thinking something dangerous.”
Benjamin gestured at her.
“What’s making that narrow little head of yours heat up right now….”
When their eyes met, he smiled, narrowing them.
She couldn’t tell what emotion lay in that smile. It was hard even to guess.
Benjamin was not the type to show his feelings. He gathered and hid them all.
“What do you mean?”
“It means your forehead looks hot, so cool your head.”
He poked her forehead with his fingertip.
“Your Highness.”
His arm was wrapped thick in bandages, yet even covered, his threatening air couldn’t be hidden.
Wasn’t he being targeted by the Empress’s faction right now?
“You said it was an ambush, but you’re in terrible shape.”
“Ah, our house dog has a nasty temper. Play with it a few rounds and you end up like this.”
Benjamin had his shirt half off.
“Where’s Aster?”
“The butler called him away for a moment.”
“He left you alone?”
“He did tell me not to stay close to Your Highness, but I don’t think I can keep that promise.”
As Charlof smiled faintly, Benjamin replied while pulling his shirt back on.
“Aster’s brought in a niece with remarkably little caution.”
He studied her with a troubled look.
“Why are you making that face?”
“That’s what I should be asking you.”
Charlof touched her cheek and asked back.
“What kind of face am I making?”
His nature leaned not toward calm, but toward something murky and dark.
Benjamin had eyes black as pitch, used to hiding emotion. Even for her, it was hard to read what lay within.
“You’re looking at me like you want me to ruin you.”
