RTN 38

Chapter 38

I closed my eyes, then opened them again. Slowly, deeply, I breathed.

Now it was certain.
There would be no more wavering — I had clear proof.
How long had I wanted to resolve this question?

And yet, my fingertips kept going cold.
I could clearly see Baek I-hyun speaking to me, but his voice sounded distant.
Everything felt muffled, like I was underwater.

“I understand that seeing me has left you confused. But the universe holds countless dimensions, and your world and ours are closely connected. It’s not strange for someone with the same name and face to exist.”

Why did it have to be someone who looked like you?

“Just yesterday, you said I wasn’t your friend. Afterward, I received your note and confirmed that we truly have no connection.”

I nodded.
That I understood. That I’d be careful from now on.
The answer slipped out automatically.
My body, which had been wound tight, loosened, and all the fatigue and pain I’d forgotten came rushing back.

“You seemed to have reached your own conclusion, so I didn’t explain further. But had I known you’d come today to confirm it, I would’ve said something earlier. I hope this helps you settle your mind.”

A shadow suddenly fell over my downward gaze.
When I lifted my head, Baek I-hyun was right in front of me.

“Seol A-yeon. Are you all right?”

I didn’t know exactly what he was asking, so I couldn’t answer right away.

“Are you very disappointed? You don’t look well.”

Ah. He meant me.

As I stared blankly up at Baek I-hyun, I thought the faint warmth in his eyes felt strange — unnecessary kindness, almost.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t really scolded me even though I’d rushed at him without warning.
Maybe he was the type to be lenient when no one was watching.
Or maybe he just found it troublesome to respond to every little thing by the book.

Either way, I was lucky.
Even I knew well enough how rude it was to throw myself physically at Baek I-hyun here.

Unconsciously, my gaze dropped. His military boots were so close they nearly touched my toes.

“I’m fine. It’s something I would’ve had to face eventually.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner.”

I blinked, looking up again.

“There’s no need for you to apologize, Commander. I was the one who drew the line first, saying you weren’t him. The one who couldn’t let go and behaved rudely — that was me.”

Now that I saw him as a complete stranger, polite speech came naturally.
Thinking back, I couldn’t understand how I’d ever spoken so casually to someone this sharp, this disciplined.

Baek I-hyun hadn’t corrected me before.
Maybe because I wanted him to be my friend so badly, I’d acted shamelessly, pretending he was.

I couldn’t do that anymore.
I bowed firmly, sealing that resolve.
Just as I turned the door handle to leave—

“Are you always like this?”

I froze and looked back.
Baek I-hyun tilted his head slightly, eyes on me.

“You don’t seem to care much for your own body.”

Following his gaze, I looked down at my ankle.
It was more swollen now, though not so bad I couldn’t walk.

“This much will heal quickly.”

“Your body is the property of our battalion.”

“Understood, sir.”

“You’re the one who retrieved an S-class weapon. I expect you to act responsibly.”

“I’m sorry.”

The words came out mechanically.
After a brief silence, Baek I-hyun parted his lips as if to say something—

Then, a knock sounded behind me.
He closed his mouth and said curtly over my shoulder:

“Come in.”

The door opened, and along with the sound of labored breathing, a soldier stepped in briskly.

It was Kim Do-un.
His gaze flicked toward me, slightly heated, but only for a moment.
Then he turned to Baek I-hyun and saluted sharply.

Sweat glistened faintly on the forehead visible through his soft hair.
The zipper of his mock-neck undershirt wasn’t fully closed beneath his uniform jacket.

In a hoarse, breathless voice, Kim Do-un spoke quickly:

“Commander, I apologize. This happened due to my poor supervision—”

“Has her watch not been issued yet?”

Baek I-hyun asked evenly, without a hint of reproach, but Kim Do-un looked mortified, as if he’d committed a grave sin.

“The research team says it’s taking time to calibrate it for Lieutenant Seol. It’ll be issued soon.”

“She walked all the way here from the barracks in that condition.”

At that, Kim Do-un’s eyes turned to me.
His pupils briefly met my probably bloodshot eyes, then swept down my body to my ankle, where they stopped.

His expression twisted instantly.
He was clearly upset that I’d ignored his warning not to wander around.

I quickly clasped my hands together in front of me.
Kim Do-un raised one eyebrow — the look of someone too exasperated for words.

“It was because I pushed her. She must’ve been injured from the impact. Don’t leave her to the infirmary — Lieutenant Kim will treat her himself.”

Kim Do-un tore his eyes from me to look at Baek I-hyun.
Still catching his breath, his voice came out a bit too heated.

“Pushed her, sir? What do you mean?”

“Exactly that. I subdued her by force and pushed her against the wall.”

“Why, sir?”

Realizing his question bordered on insolence, Kim Do-un’s face stiffened.
But Baek I-hyun seemed unbothered.

“Lieutenant Seol attacked me.”

Kim Do-un’s eyes widened. He looked back at me —
Are you insane? his expression said plainly.

I looked away — only to meet Baek I-hyun’s gaze again.
The soft warmth I’d glimpsed earlier was gone from those dark, still eyes.

So I had imagined it.
Whenever I faced him, I kept deluding myself.
At this point, avoiding him entirely was probably best.

“Since there was no malice, I won’t bring it up again,” Baek I-hyun said, his tone edged with warning.

“It won’t happen again.”

Kim Do-un immediately bowed deeply.
He apologized rapidly — said it was his negligence, that he’d be more careful — and, after a formal salute, jerked his chin toward me.

I gave Baek I-hyun a small bow.
Then Kim Do-un stepped close beside me and hissed under his breath, teeth clenched:

“Do it properly.”

I bowed again, lower this time, before being all but shoved out of the commander’s office.

As soon as the door closed behind us, Kim Do-un grabbed my wrist and dragged me away.
We didn’t go far.

He pushed me into a narrow storage room nearby and locked the door firmly.
It was cramped, cluttered with cleaning supplies.

I stood tense, watching him brace one hand against the door and take a deep breath.
His broad, straight shoulders rose and fell with each exhale.

Then he turned to me — and the first thing out of his mouth wasn’t a scolding for touching Baek I-hyun, nor a demand asking if I’d lost my mind.

“Are you okay?”

I stared at him blankly, unable to react.
He looked at me for a long moment before letting out a deep sigh.

“You’re out of your mind.”

Running a hand through his hair, Kim Do-un pulled me over to a nearby box and sat me down.
Then he knelt on one knee in front of me, lowering himself.

Gently, he took hold of my ankle.
When he leaned in, the fine strands of his soft hair brushed my knee.

He clicked his tongue.

“What the hell… How am I supposed to train someone who lets her ankle get like this?”

Grimacing, he unzipped the leg pouch strapped to his thigh and pulled out a small spray.
He sprayed it over my ankle several times.

The smell of menthol filled the air, and the cool sting eased the pain a little.

“Does it hurt?” he muttered.

“It does.”

“Didn’t I tell you to rest until I came to wake you up tomorrow? What’s this, then?”

“I just…”

My voice caught.
And before I could try again, tears started falling.

Startled, Kim Do-un let go of my ankle and fell back onto the floor.
The spray rolled across the ground and hit a bucket with a dull clink.

“W-What the— why are you crying?”

“He said no.”

“What?”

“He said he’s not my friend. That it’s physically impossible. That the time my friend died and the time he lived here don’t match. So he’s not him. Really not him.”

“Wasn’t that already settled? You said yourself he wasn’t.”

“I did, but…”

My breathing hitched, cutting off the words.
I wiped at my face with both hands, trying to stop the tears — but it was useless.
This wasn’t something willpower could fix.

“I just thought— maybe, just maybe. People can change, right? He lost his memory, so… I just wanted to check, one last time. But it was different. He used his left hand well, and if it were really my friend, he wouldn’t have been able to block me like that. He blocked everything, perfectly… I’d never seen anything like it.”

The sobs came harder.
That wild surge of hope I’d felt when I first saw Baek I-hyun — it shattered all at once into tears.

I cried out loud, choking on the words.

“I was stupid. I thought maybe when you die, you cross over to this side. The same name, the same face, and he said he lost his memories. But no. The Baek I-hyun I knew… he really did die.”

I had to accept it now — that miracles like reuniting across worlds don’t happen.
My chest burned. It felt like I was standing in that fire all over again.
Like I’d lost everything once more.

Just like the time Baek I-hyun had held me, I curled up desperately, hugging myself tight.
And I sobbed until I could barely breathe.

“I guess I’ll never see him again.”