Chapter 39

“…Keith, is this all?”

I lifted my gaze to the fire spirit once, then to Keith. Keith brushed back his hair and answered.

“I don’t know. I told you, I’m not a spirit mage.”

“What if she summoned something else besides that? If she sent another spirit to Linus, then…”

“Damn it…”

I wanted to curse too. Maybe if I spat out foul curses, this suffocating feeling would ease a little. My hands were trembling. No, it wasn’t just my hands. My whole body was shaking. My teeth clacked noisily.

“Florence-nim. Calm down. It’s okay now…”

Mari sobbed as she hugged me tightly. I hesitated, then carefully patted her small shoulders. Only then did Mari relax and bury her face into my chest. The spot where her warm breath seeped in burned. My hands, unable to embrace her, hovered awkwardly in the air.

Keith muttered.

“Just when I think we’ve found a solution, again… ha…”

He gestured towards the fire spirit.

“We can’t go anywhere unless we deal with that first. At dawn, I’ll call a few spirit mages I know.”

“No.”

“Ah, why not.”

“They’re not accomplices. Can you guarantee they’ll keep their mouths shut?”

“What are you saying. You’re disguised anyway…”

“Even the smallest risk is unacceptable.”

But the greatest risk was me.

“Then what do you suggest?”

“We need to call a trustworthy spirit mage. As soon as possible.”

“Do you even know such a bastard? Even if you do, can you meet him tomorrow?”

“…Not tomorrow. But there is one.”

A trustworthy spirit mage. Only one person came to mind with those two words.

“Enoch, Enoch will help me…”

Enoch Haines.

Father took Enoch as a ward because he was close with Enoch’s parents. Father was kind to everyone but me, so it wasn’t strange for him to take in a child who suddenly lost his parents.

But even with their friendship, bringing a commoner’s son into the mansion was a special case.

Enoch was clever, and above all, he had the talent Father loved.

Unlike Blake and Grace, who became mages like Father, Enoch Haines was a spirit mage who contracted with an intermediate wind spirit at a young age. Like Mother.

The problem was the five-year gap.

And the awkward tension that flowed between us right before I lost my body.

Would he still help me now… I bit the inside of my cheek. In the end, he was the only person I could think of to rely on, tangled with the last words I spoke to him.

Keith spoke in a strangely relaxed voice.

“You know him, huh.”

“What?”

“…You know Enoch.”

I was surprised. Looking up at Keith, he spoke with an embarrassed expression.

“If it’s Enoch Haines, he’s trustworthy.”

“How do you know Enoch…?”

Keith chuckled softly, then suddenly leaned his face close to mine and asked:

“We don’t look alike at all, right?”

“What?”

“I’m much better looking than Enoch, right?”

“W-what are you saying. Why would you and Enoch…”

…You should look alike… As I spoke, a hunch struck me. No way.

“He’s my maternal cousin.”

Luckily, Enoch was in this city. The capital, Redamas.

“I wasn’t sure if I should let you meet him. I was thinking it over.”

Keith confessed he hesitated even when I mentioned Enoch’s name.

“Did you save me because of Enoch too?”

“About 10%.”

He didn’t tell me what the other 90% was. I didn’t ask.

“And that we’ve met before?”

“No, that has nothing to do with Enoch.”

Keith… although secretive, maybe he’s the type who loses more than he gains.

“Dawn isn’t far off. If we go now, we’ll just be kicked out. So, let’s talk for now.”

“…Talk about what.”

“That thing?”

Keith gestured with his chin. The firebird, after I calmed down, was watching me from a distance.

Screee.

Its beak, which I had choked, came closer again. Didn’t this thing get tired? It didn’t try to strangle me again. More like it had no strength left. My desire to kill it hadn’t faded.

The firebird looked like a peacock with a long neck and ornate tail feathers. It was about the size of my torso, but its wingspan would be twice that. Sensing my gaze, it tilted its head curiously at me.

Mari, unable to hold back while watching it from afar, burst out admiringly.

“Wow… so, so cute! I’ve never seen a spirit like that…”

“It’s better not to,” Keith mumbled.

“Florence-nim, can I go closer? It won’t bite, right?”

“I’ve never seen it either…”

I had seen spirits before. In ‘my’ memories, I’d seen scenes of contracting and handling spirits. But all of Jang Hyunji’s spirits were great spirits with human forms.

A firebird like this… would that be a lower spirit, Casa? It didn’t seem like a high spirit, Phoenix. Intermediate fire spirits were Salamanders, shaped like lizards, so it wasn’t that…

“Was Casa ever this big?”

“I don’t know either…”

As a child, the Casa Enoch showed me was only palm-sized. Keith cursed.

“Damn it, I don’t know shit.”

In ‘my’ memories, there was no image of a fire spirit. Jang Hyunji, who lost her family to a fire, feared flames. She contracted with every other spirit but never with fire.

“Don’t go too close, Mari.”

“Huh? But…”

Mari reached out with a regretful expression. Her prosthetic hand touched the bird’s beak. Keith and I both panicked and tried to pull her away. Her prosthetic was wooden. As I pulled her into my arms and Keith blocked in front of us, the firebird let out a dissatisfied cry.

Kyu-uung.

It sounded unjust, as if it had no intent to attack.

“It wasn’t hot! It didn’t attack me!”

Mari struggled in my arms to protest. Keith scolded her sternly.

“Don’t be reckless. Spirits can cut a person in two while smiling. They don’t understand human emotions. Don’t be fooled by appearances.”

Enoch once said spirits are beings from another world who cannot understand human emotions. They mostly just exist in their realm. High spirits with consciousness can converse, but only with their contractors. To them, anything not their contractor has no value.

To them, living or non-living beings are the same.

“We don’t even know what it really is yet. Besides, that woman summoned it.”

“But, but it didn’t attack me!”

Mari protested, but neither Keith nor I supported her this time. She pouted but didn’t persist. Good girl, Mari.

We couldn’t let Mari sleep in the same room as the firebird. Keith rented another room and sent her there.

In the meantime, I was left alone. I needed to gather my thoughts.

Keith returned a moment later.

“Relax. Loosen your eyes a bit.”

“….”

“At this rate, you’ll collapse before dawn.”

Keith’s displeased gaze burned into me. I curled up on the narrow, hard armchair. Lowering my head, my hair fell past my knees.

I couldn’t stand myself, thinking I had let my guard down completely.

‘Give up, Florence.’

‘On what.’

‘Stop clinging to people who don’t love you. Stop asking for wounds.’

I don’t know how to give up. Enoch. How do I do that? Why didn’t you teach me that?

Enoch.

I closed my eyes, trying to remember his face.

Looking at Keith… I always thought he was just a flashy man, but looking closer, there was a familiar air about him. Though his aura was completely different. He spoke.

“Want to sleep a bit?”

“…No. I won’t be able to sleep.”

What if I fell asleep and lost my body again…

I wanted to know what Jang Hyunji was doing now. How far Linus had come, what she had left behind, I wanted to know everything.

How nice it would be if I could know exactly when I’d lose my body again and attack Mari.