Chapter 38

‘No one ever wanted you! You were happy that I achieved everything you ever wanted, weren’t you? Wasn’t it a relief for you? What’s the problem, this was all prepared for me!’

You think so too, don’t you?

‘It was all mine!’

Her voice, ragged with fury, gradually lowered. Lying there, my body stolen, I couldn’t deny that Jang Hyunji’s words weren’t entirely wrong.

After getting my body back, all I felt was the harsh truth that I was rejected simply for being myself. From the beginning, those people were never meant for me, and they simply couldn’t accept my existence.

I had to think like that to survive.

‘Give me back my life. It’s mine now. You don’t exist anymore, you’re as good as dead! Go back. Go back and die!’

‘Don’t be ridiculous! Why should Florence-nim die in your place, you crazy bitch!’

No, no, Mari. Run away! I tried to open my eyes. But Jang Hyunji’s body wouldn’t move.

My consciousness had barely returned to this body, but I couldn’t even open my eyes at will. I thrashed desperately. No. I have to go back. I can’t die here. Do you think I’d die in your place? I’ve decided I won’t lose anything ever again!

My vision flashed. For a moment, I thought I saw Mari. Her face twisted in pain.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

I felt like a leaf floating in the center of a storm. My consciousness stayed intact. As I was being moved, I saw her face for the first time. ‘My’ face.

Her eyes filled with poison, the screaming woman’s face was unfamiliar.

So it’s you.

You’re the woman who took my body. The one who spoke to me through the mirror. But this was the first time we’d ever seen each other directly.

‘It’s not over yet. I won’t just die like this. I’m going to take back what’s mine!’

‘I’m the real Florence!’

And in the next moment, I snapped my eyes open.

“Florence-nim!”

“…Mari.”

My throat was dry and raw. I forced out the words, and Mari and Keith both let out sighs of relief. Mari even collapsed to her knees. I touched my neck and mouthed silently. It had all happened in an instant.

“H-how… how is this…”

“I told you! I said there was no way she could come back!”

“I thought so too! I didn’t know! She was almost dead!”

Even when I was dragged away this time, the doctors had called it a miracle.

My heart pounded violently. Trembling, I looked first at Mari. Once again, she had thrown herself into danger for me. No, please. I told you not to do that. Now, losing you is what I fear the most…

“Florence-nim…”

“…No…”

I needed to say it. I clamped my hand over my mouth.

Mari’s neck bore vivid handprints. She touched her neck awkwardly and spoke.

“It’s okay. It didn’t even hurt, and with Keith-nim’s healing magic, it will…”

“It wasn’t even you who did it, idiot. Why are you making that face.”

Keith pulled Mari behind him as he spoke. But even his face showed a flicker of doubt. Of course it did. To him, it must’ve looked like someone who was peacefully asleep suddenly attacked them. He couldn’t be sure if I was Florence or Jang Hyunji right now.

“S-sorry, sorry, Mari, Keith…”

“Calm down. That’s not what’s important right now.”

Keith spoke nonsense. What could be more important than Mari? I reached out to hug her but stopped, fearing she’d be scared of me. Keith saw my hand fall helplessly and said,

“Look beside you, Florence.”

Because of Keith, I couldn’t see Mari. I couldn’t muster the courage to refuse him, so I turned my head as he told me.

Creeeak.

A bird made of flames rubbed its beak affectionately against me.

It was a spirit of fire.

In the smooth, bead-like eyes of the bird, I saw my tear-streaked face reflected. My tangled hair, hollow eyes, and tightly pressed lips made me look completely insane. Maybe I really was insane. How could I not be? I clenched my teeth and reached out. Grabbing its slender neck.

CRREEEE! CRREEEE!

The firebird flapped its wings. Sparks scattered through the air, but none burned me. The spirit’s flames couldn’t harm this body. I strangled it as if it were Jang Hyunji herself.

“Stop it! Are you crazy?!”

“Let go! I’ll kill it!”

Keith pulled me back from behind. My eyes must have been blazing red. I shrieked in fury.

“Why are you stopping me?! It needs to be destroyed! This thing she summoned should be erased!”

“If it could die from strangling, it wouldn’t be a spirit, idiot! Get a grip!”

“Go back. Go back to your dying master! Get out….”

The bird stopped struggling. It looked at me as if it were wounded. Its innocent eyes sent chills down my spine.

‘Anyone. Please, someone come out. One of the great spirits, anyone, please!’

‘She’ raised her hand to summon the spirit. As always, it was a great spirit. Then she ordered it in ‘my’ voice.

‘Kill that filthy thing.’

The room’s temperature shot up instantly. Scarlet shadows flickered. Keith leapt up in alarm. Mari’s face flashed through my mind. At my fingertips was Mari. With this hand, with this voice, I had commanded that thing to kill her.

I couldn’t forgive it.

I had to rip that beak apart, twist that long neck, or I couldn’t stand it.

I didn’t know where the strength came from. I shook off Keith’s restraining hands and lunged at it again. I would kill it. I would kill it so it could never touch Mari again…

If Mari hadn’t grabbed my waist, I would have.

“Florence-nim, you’ll get hurt! The room will catch fire! Everything will burn!”

“Ugh, Mari…”

“You’ll get hurt, please…”

Mari panted desperately. Seeing this small girl clinging to my waist made my chest tighten painfully.

“You’re the one who almost got hurt… You got hurt…”

I collapsed on the spot. My legs gave out. Like a puppet with its strings cut. Mari sat down before me. I reached out and stroked her cheek.

Below her cheek, on her slender neck, were those vivid handprints…

I couldn’t even say I was sorry anymore. I wanted to cry, but felt too shameless, so even my tears were humiliating. Unable to properly touch her, I only hovered near her skin, until Mari grabbed my hand and pressed it firmly to her neck.

“It doesn’t hurt at all.”

“…Don’t lie…”

“It didn’t even bleed.”

“…Mari, hit me. Hit me as much as you were hurt.”

It was then. Mari slapped me across both cheeks with a loud smack. When I lifted my head, she was glaring at me with an angry face.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Why would I do that when it wasn’t even you who did it?”

“But these handprints…”

That woman whispered to me, “Is this your treasure?” It sounded like a mutter to herself, but it was clearly meant for me. Her poisonous scream rang through my mind. My lips trembled.

‘She was watching. Just like I watched her…’

I had thought Jang Hyunji must be dead by now. That body was dying, barely clinging to life. There was no way she could still be alive after being dragged back like that…

She must have been watching me through dreams. Just as I had done.

Trapped in a dying body.

I had gotten my body back, looked at Helen with envy for that woman…

Running up to Father and Blake, desperately trying to taste even a crumb of love that wasn’t mine, mimicking her…

She would have seen it all.

How funny I must have looked. How triumphant she must have felt. Watching me roll in the dirt, covered in blood.

Even I had believed it wasn’t mine to begin with.

Even my pain was my right.

Jang Hyunji had declared she wouldn’t give up. That she would steal this body back, that my life now belonged to her. I had felt relieved, thinking she must be dying from pain and drugs… but in reality, even if it was for a short while, she had taken my body again. She could steal it back any time.

Stupid Florence, pathetic girl. I wanted to smash my head against the wall.

Why did I think it was all over? Why was I so sure she was dead and I had won? No one had ever confirmed that for me. Only after she was truly dead and gone forever would there be another life waiting for me.

‘Linus, Linus will save me!’

That wasn’t just the desperate struggle of someone dying.