Chapter 35

Keith left again—without warning—leaving me and Mari behind.

“This is Tolle Street,” Mari said as she opened the window and looked out.

To me, all the streets looked the same, but Mari recognized them instantly. I already knew she was smart, but the more I saw, the more impressed I became. I thought about clapping for her but stopped, thinking she might get embarrassed.

Even that would’ve been cute. To me, Mari was just… always wonderful.

“You were about to compliment me again, weren’t you?”
“Says the one who always does it herself.”
“Mine are sincere.”
“Mine are sincere too. Mari, you’re smart.”

Mari frowned like she’d just bitten into a lemon. She always made that face when she wanted to scold me.

“You hand out compliments too easily.”
“Says the girl who compliments me just for breathing.”

I smiled and replied, “I don’t usually compliment people. I’m not good at saying nice things just to make others feel better.”

If I had that kind of skill, maybe things would have been different. But Blake and Grace would’ve probably told me to stop being fake even if I tried.

My father? He never even gave me time to speak. Every time he saw I was still alive, it seemed to disgust him.

In the end, whatever I said, it never mattered to them.

“Looking back now, I was pretty stubborn to keep hanging around people who clearly didn’t want me.”

Even though they hated me, I still craved their love. We were alike in that we never really listened to each other.

“They pushed me away, and I refused to listen. I chased them saying I loved them—and they refused to hear it.”

“We were horribly alike. Terribly.”

‘What am I supposed to do now?’

Keith had asked me what I wanted to do. I couldn’t answer. No one had ever asked me that before, and honestly, I had no idea.

I thought that once I got my body back, I’d finally be able to live my own life.

I believed all my problems would disappear once I returned to my body. Everything I had had been for her anyway. I told myself I’d throw it all away—my name, my status—and start over somewhere new.

But even throwing things away wasn’t something I could do freely.

‘What kind of life is mine?’

If I take away the girl begging for love from her cold family, the fiancée clinging to someone who never cared, the person who blamed fate for giving her nothing… then what’s left of me?

What did I originally have? What did I want to do?

I couldn’t think of any answer.

The only thing I could say was: “I just want to live.”
And even that made me feel small and pathetic.

When I was trapped in Jang Hyunji’s body, or escaping from Linus, I didn’t hesitate. That was about survival. My priority was staying free from him.

But now that I had escaped and finally had choices—nothing came to mind.

“My life was completely empty.”

It was funny. I wanted happiness so badly… but I didn’t even know how to get it.

I turned my head and looked at Mari. She moved around like a busy squirrel, even when there was nothing urgent to do. The small inn room already looked like it had been touched by her hands.

When she noticed me staring, she looked back.

A faint blush colored her cheeks, which had gotten a little fuller over the last few days. I felt bad for thinking she was plain when we first met. She looked adorable.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Mari, don’t you feel… even a little resentful?”

“Huh? About what?”
Her eyes were wide, filled with confusion. She genuinely had no idea what I meant.

“You could’ve ended up in my position instead.”
“Ah, that again.”

“I’ve only said it twice! Don’t act like it’s so annoying. You’re hurting my feelings.”

Mari shrugged and laughed.

At one point, I told Keith it’d be better to use magic to make Mari look like a noble lady, and I’d pretend to be the maid. She was younger and didn’t move around too much, which helped hide her prosthetic. I couldn’t walk well, but I could deal with that.

“You can’t give up, can you? You understood, didn’t you?”
“I never agreed.”

“Even if you pretend, you can’t change who you are. Keith said the same thing—if you lie too much, people will notice. That applies to me too. Even in front of others, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from helping you if you were about to fall. If you’re within reach, I have to help you.”

“You can train that out.”
“No. You can’t fool others with something that only shows up with practice.”

Mari gently said, “You get it, right?”
But neither Keith nor Mari gave in when I asked to switch roles. Even if I knew they were right, I still couldn’t accept it.

I rested my chin on my hand and pouted.

“I don’t want to make you do work.”
“Even if you don’t ask….”

Mari’s eyes dropped to her lap. She was holding my clothes.

“Don’t do it! I’ll take care of it myself!”
“Okay, okay. Sure you will.”

Mari smiled like she didn’t believe me but didn’t argue.

“Put that down. I’m going to do it now.”
“Yes, yes. Got it.”
“I mean it! You’re the first… the first person I’ve…”

…the first person I’ve ever treasured.

I couldn’t say it out loud. I was in no position to give Mari anything, no matter how I felt. So I stayed quiet and lowered my head.

Mari walked over and gently placed her hand on the back of mine.

Her fingers were thin and bony, like dry twigs, rough from use. My hand was the opposite—soft, without a single callus. It made me feel ashamed.

Keith had said Mari could hold her own anywhere. And he told me that I should recognize I still wasn’t capable of much.

“Mari… why are you so good to me?”

Instead of saying what I couldn’t, I asked what I truly wanted to know.

Mari looked straight into my eyes with her clear green-brown gaze. I was scared to meet her eyes and dropped my gaze.

I had asked—but I was afraid of the answer. What a contradiction.

No one had ever responded kindly when I told them I liked them. All I got in return was a lifetime of blame.

Mari and Keith were new. Different.

They didn’t hate me.
They gave me kindness without expecting anything back.
They saved me.
They didn’t throw me away.

And out of the two… Mari was even more special.