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Chapter 83
I was rejected.
“The Crown Prince has instructed me to tell you that His Highness’s schedule is already completely full, and he has no time for an additional audience.”
It wasn’t even through a letter—an attendant from the Crown Prince’s palace came directly to deliver the rejection. That much was fine, but…
“…So I’ve been dumped, right?”
“He must just be busy,” Lena quickly replied.
“Of course, it’s almost Founding Festival.”
“His Highness the Crown Prince is an incredibly important person. Surely he’s far too busy to even breathe.”
My caretakers tried their best to comfort me, but my thoughts didn’t change.
“No matter how I look at it, I think I’ve been dumped.”
I sank into gloom.
“In addition, His Majesty the Sovereign of Sirua has invited Lady Arellin. He said he would like to have a tea time with you in his palace someday.”
The Sovereign of Sirua?
I recalled the excessively beautiful child I had met at the tea party. Like a female version of Pession.
Normally, I would have refused such interest, calling it burdensome, but right now—when I was already in turmoil—it only made my feelings more complicated.
“…If I have the time, I’ll go.”
“Then I will convey that you are positively considering the invitation.”
I sank even deeper into gloom.
“Haah.”
Wouldn’t even give me the chance to explain.
Misunderstandings like this should be cleared up right away, before they could fester.
“Don’t worry. The Founding Festival ball is the day after tomorrow,” Uni hurried to comfort me as I sighed heavily.
“What good is that? Kids aren’t allowed at the ball.”
“Children under thirteen have a separate space prepared for them to play.”
“And you’ll be able to see His Highness the Crown Prince there.”
“Really?!”
I jerked my head up, and my maids all smiled at once.
“Now hurry and ask His Grace the Grand Duke to take you there.”
“Ah…”
I’d just climbed one mountain, only to find an even bigger one ahead.
At that time, inside Mehen’s office.
Unusually, instead of hiding in the inner annex, Valer was wandering around when Mehen dragged him in and shoved the prepared documents at him.
Valer sprawled half-reclined on the couch with a sullen expression, propping his chin on his hand as he signed off on the stack of paperwork.
“I heard you made a murder threat to Arell.”
His indifferent eyes, which had been scanning the page in a dry manner, suddenly shifted to him.
“Your daughter even tells you things like that? She said it was a secret from me. So she treats her mom differently, huh?”
Mehen clicked his tongue.
“What on earth did you say to the child?”
There are things you can say, and things you absolutely can’t.
During their now-routine bedtime reading, Arellin had babbled to Mehen about what had happened earlier that day.
“‘My biological father made a murder threat, then said he would do anything for me.’”
Mehen was shocked, doubting his ears. But Arellin’s face had been so calm that for a moment he wondered if he’d misheard.
“Have you never once thought about watching your words around a child? Do I really need to lecture you about this?”
“I didn’t say anything much.”
“If it wasn’t anything much, why did it come across to her as a murder threat?”
Valer’s handsome eyes curved with amusement.
“If you’re curious, then tell me why you became her mother.”
“That’s a secret.”
“Then mine’s a secret too.”
Mehen glared.
“What.”
“You’re annoying me.”
Mehen furrowed his brow irritably. Only Valer, his liege, could so easily push the normally composed, polite Mehen into emotion.
Valer set the signed papers on the table and fixed his gaze on Mehen.
In the northern fortress, every day had been consumed by combat and struggle, so time never felt like it moved. But back here, in the Halbern estate of the capital, he could see every change clearly, moment by moment.
“You’ve really become a mom, Mehen.”
“…What nonsense are you spouting now.”
Mehen’s face carried a deadly warning—say “darling wife” one more time, and you’ll regret it. Valer only smiled faintly.
“It’s just surprising. You always drew your own line and never stepped outside it.”
Mehen froze.
“Whether it was because you knew your place, or lacked greed, or ambition, or maybe just because it was your nature, or you didn’t care about others, or it was simply bothersome… I always thought it strange that you never wavered, never moved from your place.”
“…What are you trying to say.”
For some reason, a surge of rejection rose inside Mehen. He wanted to shut that mouth immediately.
“So seeing you now, showing such deep concern and affection for someone…”
“…”
“It’s a bit astonishing.”
His tone was calm and quiet, and so were his eyes.
“This is the first time you’ve shown attachment to anyone.”
“Valer, stop talking nonsense.”
“Am I wrong? Tell me I’m wrong.”
He wasn’t scolding, criticizing, or mocking. Just stating it plainly, as if it were fact.
Mehen felt like he couldn’t breathe.
He bit his lip, trying to look calm, though he already knew Valer had long since seen through him.
“All the things you possess, everything beneath you—it’s all stuff I forced into your hands. Isn’t that right?”
Your status, your family name, the townhouse in the capital you’d never even seen before, the mansion, your reputation as a genius, your current position, your wealth and influence.
And even the role of regent.
“You’ve only ever been faithful to what was handed to you. You never craved anything yourself.”
“…”
“Almost as if you were telling yourself you shouldn’t.”
As if even this seat was too much for you.
“So I assumed you’d raise the child the same way.”
His words cut like knives. Mehen clenched his teeth to keep from groaning.
It was disturbingly accurate.
That’s how it had been. Exactly.
He had kept his distance, told himself he was just a temporary guardian, that when his lord returned, he’d have to yield his place.
He had left her alone. Made her lonely. Made it so hard for her.
That little child.
“…You look good now.”
Mehen couldn’t lift his head at the sight of his lord smiling lightly, knowing nothing of the past, only seeing the present.
He couldn’t face the man who had trusted him, believed in him—his liege, his friend, his savior.
Even though he had urged him to come back, the child he’d been entrusted with in the meantime…
“…I’m sorry.”
“For what.”
The casual reply to his sudden apology made Mehen’s face crumple.
“For everything.”
He could have pretended ignorance, brushed it off, but he couldn’t be shameless. He couldn’t lie. He bowed his head.
“I didn’t live up to your trust. Arellin too… maybe I ruined her. I could have raised her better, but…”
“Mehen.”
As guilt belatedly crashed over Mehen, dragging his words out painfully, Valer sighed.
“I didn’t leave Arellin with you because I believed you’d do well.”
Mehen didn’t understand.
Then why entrust her to me?
“Wouldn’t it be stranger if someone with no experience raised a child without any bumps in the road?”
“Then why… to me…”
“Because it’s you.”
Even if he had to go back and choose again, Valer would make the same decision.
Because Mehen was the only human he trusted.
“Do you remember what I told you when I first made you regent?”
Mehen lifted his head.
“I told you it was okay even if you ruined everything.”
Valer’s decision to push aside all Halbern’s long-serving retainers and install Mehen as regent had earned bitter resentment. But no one could oppose it.
“I said you could fail, lose everything, and even collapse completely, and it would still be fine.”
Why entrust such an important position, one that could wield the Grand Duke’s power, to an orphan with no ties?
“Because what mattered was that you were in that seat.”
If it were someone else, Valer would have to clear away corpses one after another.
“It was the same this time.”
His deep distrust of humanity was unchanged. The only person he could honestly say he “trusted” was this one man.
The weight of that trust filled Mehen with self-loathing.
“That’s why I must do better.”
“Why? Did I tell you to?”
No. But it felt like he had to.
Because he couldn’t become this man’s flaw.
“I don’t keep you by my side because you’re useful or a genius. Isn’t it time you realized that, my confidant?”
Valer’s tone was tired, as if soothing him. Mehen’s eyes sank into shadow.
It was Mehen who finally broke the deathlike silence.
“Then, as your confidant, let me be presumptuous for once.”
Their eyes met in the air.
“Arellin… is she really your daughter?”
