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Chapter 118
“I really love you, my daughter.”
Dad hugged me tightly.
“You’re beautiful, warm, cute, lovely, alive, soft, you smile well…”
He listed everything he liked about me in detail, earnestly pleading his feelings.
Huh? But… this pattern sounds familiar.
Is it some kind of catchphrase?
“Ugh.”
“Why the sigh? Want me to keep going?”
“No, it’s not that I don’t believe you.”
I’ve believed that Dad liked me ever since he came looking for me in the hidden world of the imperial palace.
There’s no way he would come all the way there if he didn’t like me. That place is a little… strange.
‘Even if it’s possible to travel there with Halbern’s abilities…’
Later, he said he usually avoids going into places like that.
It’s the perfect kind of place to meet a sudden, grisly end.
“You’re even cute when you glare at me…”
I roughly covered Dad’s constantly rambling mouth and steered the conversation back to the original topic.
“If you don’t dislike Pession, then why do you always look at him like that?”
Dad blinked, looking completely clueless.
“How do I look?”
“Like it’s uncomfortable? Or awkward?”
“Ah.”
Finally, he nodded as if he’d realized something.
“Is it because Ed keeps coming to mind when you see him?”
Ed? You mean His Majesty the Emperor?
“Why’s that?”
I tilted my head, and Dad gently stroked my hair.
Beneath long eyelashes, his deep purple eyes stood out.
“Of course…”
“…?”
“People who have everything easily are just… unlucky?”
I laughed at the unexpected answer.
“Is that what you’re supposed to say, Dad?”
“Because I have more things I don’t have.”
“You’re trying to trick me.”
“I’m serious.”
Dad’s eyes drooped in a mock pout. Looking closely, this man really does have expressive features.
“Halbern is both a symbiont and mutual observer of the Allerman family, so their abilities don’t affect him. Maybe that’s why.”
“What are the Allerman family’s abilities?”
“<To be loved>.”
Our gazes reached Pession, who was talking to Griam from afar.
He seemed like the main character of this world, as if he received all the light and blessings of the world for himself.
“It’s a powerful ability that makes everyone respect and love you, regardless of who you are.”
Is that even possible?
Well, it’s an ability, so I guess it is.
Come to think of it, Pession always seemed puzzled when I pushed him away and showed dislike.
If it’s just that the ability doesn’t work on me, then I can understand it…
“I envy him.”
He must really live an easy life.
Isn’t that the life everyone wants?
A life where you’re loved no matter what.
“It’s fine. But the limits are clear.”
“What limits?”
Dad played with my hair teasingly.
“The Allerman family has always been short-lived. Unlike other families, their ability is always active, so it’s common for them to die caught up in matters of love or jealousy. They also distrust humans, thinking others love them only because of the ability, and they’re mentally fragile. Conversely, some become reckless thinking, ‘They’ll like me anyway, no matter what.’”
Dad laughed, saying the issue of heirs was always a headache for the Allerman royal family.
“Maybe because of their broad ability, except for the founding emperor, the previous emperors weren’t that capable.”
“Heh.”
“Lastly, it doesn’t work well on other races either.”
Dad whispered as if revealing a secret, suggesting that the Allerman abilities might have contributed to the Albrecht Empire becoming the most prosperous empire of humans.
“So… you don’t dislike Pession, right?”
“Is that important?”
“I hope you two get along well.”
“Hmm. I’ll try.”
I only said “try” with my words.
When I gave him a side-eye, Dad affectionately stroked my hair again.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You’re a little strange.”
“Are you the one saying that? You’re the stranger here.”
Dad laughed heartily and ruffled my hair so much that I glared at him.
He poked my cheek.
“Then shall we say you’re strange?”
“No, I’m not saying ‘let’s call it strange,’ I mean you really are strange.”
“Dad has something he’s curious about too.”
Even that is strange.
Dad cautiously coaxed me.
“Can I ask?”
“When have you ever asked for permission before?”
Valer’s eyes narrowed slightly.
This man is using his expressions again.
Not working this time!
When I frowned, Dad let out a dry laugh. His eyes sparkled…
Well. I lost.
“So, what are you curious about?”
His large hands carefully stroked my hair.
“Aren’t you curious about your mother?”
His calm and thoughtful gaze studied me.
“It would be natural to wonder, but you’ve never asked.”
What should I answer?
Even without memories of my past life, and even after remembering them, “mother” had always been unknown and forbidden to me.
A Pandora’s box not to be opened lightly.
Without past life memories, I avoided it for fear of being disliked even more if I stirred up mother issues. With memories…
Well, I avoided it because I felt I might figure something out. I also happened to see someone presumed to be ‘mother’ in the portrait room.
“I don’t want to know.”
“Why?”
To speak honestly…
“Because I’m scared.”
My voice sank.
I quietly lowered my eyes and unconsciously curled up.
“Of what?”
“…”
“What are you afraid of?”
His low, even voice sank further, letting me know how he felt.
Dad lowered himself to my level and met my eyes. His purple gaze looked almost black.
“What if… my mother didn’t want me?”
“…”
“What if she didn’t want me and abandoned me because of it…?”
My voice trembled. Just imagining it was terrifying.
There was only one thing that always made me feel weak: mother.
“If she didn’t want me, and that’s why she abandoned me…”
I couldn’t imagine not being hurt.
Wouldn’t it be better not to know? At least if I don’t know, if I ignore it, it won’t hurt so much.
Tears welled up instantly in my eyes. Dad held his breath as they fell.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
Dad pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.
“For not explaining properly, for letting you misunderstand.”
He awkwardly wiped my tears and stroked my head and back.
I guess he doesn’t realize that his unusual kindness makes me want to cry even more.
“Arel.”
“Yeah.”
“You… are the daughter your mother loved.”
Dad opened his mouth cautiously, a troubled expression on his face, as if unsure what to say.
“She loved you so much, and you’re so precious. She sent you to me to protect you and to make you happy.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you swear that?”
“Do you want me to swear in blood?”
“Dad, you’re too extreme.”
He forced a small smile at my tiny complaint.
“Finally, you see me.”
Our foreheads touched. Dad stroked my cheeks repeatedly. His unusually careful gestures made me feel just how much he cared, and my overwhelming feelings eased a little.
“What kind of person was my mother?”
“The most beautiful and radiant person in the world.”
His gaze, which seemed to wander into the distance, returned to me.
“Smart, strong, wise, incredible… someone I always wanted to follow closely.”
Sometimes Dad looked like an underdeveloped boy.
Like now.
“I wanted to save her.”
“…”
“I couldn’t.”
With a face etched with deep regret and sorrow, Dad smiled bitterly.
“Someday, I’ll have to go back there and face my terrible regret.”
But not now, he whispered quietly.
“Someday, when you grow up and judge me…”
“…”
“I’ll stand there and accept it.”
“…”
“No matter what it is.”
Seeing him fragile and on the verge of breaking, this time I hugged him tightly around the neck.
“Until then, grow up safely.”
His arms around me were strong.
“I’ll do anything for you.”
