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Chapter – 14
“Is this your first time throwing someone into the sea?”
“…….”
Looks like it was.
There was no one around me now, but it hadn’t always been that way. Whenever I went to the beach with friends, we used to shove each other into the water like it was a competition—who’d fall in first.
Of course, it was just playful teasing.
But Lazette seemed to think I was actually going to drown someone.
“Sister, think about it again. That’s not a good idea.”
Seeing him so serious made me want to tease him even more.
“If you say you’re not my brother, how am I supposed to let you live?”
“……Was it because of what the caretaker said?”
“Of course. He even said something as unlucky as you being dead. Since we don’t know how deep it is, let’s go farther out before throwing you in.”
Lazette stopped trying to persuade me.
“I think Sister isn’t feeling well. It’d be best to take her inside and let her rest.”
He went so far as to declare me ill. I obediently let him hand me over to Amy. Then I leaned close to her ear and whispered,
“Let’s throw Calib in. Into the sea over there.”
“Did the young master do something wrong?”
Amy didn’t seem to understand me either. Looking at her puzzled face, I thought, These people really don’t know how to have fun.
Anyway, Amy went along with it. But since the two of us alone didn’t seem enough, we dragged over Selene—the maid assigned to watch Amy—and a nearby knight as well. He looked at me like I was a murderer, but I ignored him.
“Now! Now’s the time!”
I went behind Lazette and suddenly wrapped my arms around him. Apparently he hadn’t expected that—I rarely hugged anyone—so Lazette looked genuinely flustered as he turned around.
“Sister? Why all of a sudden—”
I hurriedly shouted,
“Amy! Selene! Now!”
And just like that, we succeeded in throwing Lazette into the sea.
Splash.
Water scattered everywhere as Lazette fell in, but it wasn’t too violent.
Ah. This is fun.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this way.
“Sister!”
Lazette popped up from the water, dumbfounded. The water was shallow. I burst out laughing without realizing it, and Lazette, finding the situation ridiculous too, let out a deflated laugh.
I froze at the sound of it.
It seemed unintentional—like a laugh that slipped out before he could stop it. My gaze was completely stolen by that moment.
But the feeling didn’t last long.
“I can’t be the only one who suffers.”
Lazette climbed out of the water, lifted me up, and tossed me straight in.
Splash.
I was soaked from head to toe. Unlike when water merely splashed earlier, I was completely drenched.
This wasn’t fun anymore.
“Achoo!”
Near the end of dinner, I sneezed. I’d felt chills earlier, and sure enough, the coughing started. Maybe it was from catching the cold wind.
“Are you cold, Sister? Should I have them light the fireplace?”
As if he’d never laughed at all, Lazette was back to being “Calib.” I didn’t want him living as Calib. That was why I’d said those things to him in the stables.
But even if he was only pretending now, there was nothing more I could add. I’d already said what I truly felt. The choice was Lazette’s.
“No, it’s not that bad… I just feel a little cold, I think.”
With a navy shawl draped over my shoulders, I stayed seated for a bit longer, but soon I felt heat rising and headed to my room.
“You’ve got a bit of a fever. You should take some medicine.”
Lazette followed me in, the soft jingle of his steps behind him. Seeing my flushed face, he pressed the back of his hand to my forehead.
Startled by the sudden contact, I pulled my head back.
“Hey. I’ll be fine if I just sleep it off.”
I wasn’t fond of medicine.
It was bitter, and for some reason it always made me uneasy.
Besides, I was already taking something. Even I knew that taking random medicine could be dangerous.
“Don’t worry about me—worry about yourself. What if you catch a cold, Calib?”
“As you can see, I’m perfectly fine. You’re the one all dizzy and out of it.”
“Dizzy and out of it… haha.”
I didn’t know why that sounded so funny. Holding my aching forehead, I laughed for quite a while.
Lazette watched me for a moment, then suddenly left the room. I pulled the blanket up to my head.
I planned to sleep like that. But just as I closed my eyes, someone gently tugged the blanket down.
“Take the medicine before you sleep. If you get sick, you’re the only one who suffers.”
Lazette had returned with medicine from somewhere.
“If I take just anything, I might die.”
“…….”
“Not all medicine is good. If it gets unbearable later, I’ll take it. Okay? Now get out.”
“But—”
“Amy, take him out. I need to sleep.”
My voice was hoarse—whether from sleepiness or the cold, I couldn’t tell.
Still, Amy managed to understand and led Lazette out. He left without being able to make me take the medicine.
As I closed my eyes, I thought Lazette was kinder than I’d expected.
To take care of medicine for someone he disliked…
‘That’s strange. If it were me, I’d probably hide the medicine because I’d be glad they were sick.’
Compared to him, I felt awful. Which made sense—I’d never been a good person to begin with.
Thinking about Lazette, I drifted off without realizing it.
In the quiet stillness, Lazette opened his eyes. Darkness filled his vision. He couldn’t sleep.
It was familiar. Whenever he changed sleeping quarters, sleep never came easily.
It had always been that way.
‘Calib, this is your room.’
Even when he’d first arrived at the Count’s estate, he hadn’t been able to adjust and went many nights without proper rest—like a young beast anxious outside its territory.
‘Oh? Is the person beside you the young lady’s fiancé?’
Unable to sleep, all sorts of thoughts surfaced. Lazette let out a hollow laugh as the caretaker’s words suddenly invaded his ears.
“A fiancé, my ass.”
Pretending to be Lizenne’s younger brother was revolting enough. He had no intention of playing fiancé too. He remembered the caretaker’s face stiffening when Lazette calmly said he was her brother. And the way the man had followed them around ever since.
“Maybe I should’ve pushed him in back then.”
He had been briefly tempted when Lizenne suggested throwing the caretaker into the sea. Even Lazette found the man’s ridiculous misunderstandings irritating.
Still, killing him felt excessive, so he’d stopped her. Only later did he realize she hadn’t meant drown him at all.
‘You look exactly like a wet dog! A big one!’
Lizenne had laughed so brightly her teeth showed. Maybe it was the sunlight, but it felt blinding enough that Lazette had squinted.
And then, as if it were contagious, he’d laughed too. Softly.
‘Calib, you really don’t know how to have fun.’
Something had possessed him. Seeing Lizenne click her tongue at him like he was pathetic had stirred his pride. And so, completely unlike himself, he’d played along.
The fact that he’d willingly done something he never would have if he weren’t “Calib” left him stunned.
Lazette sat up and got out of bed. Since sleep wouldn’t come, he decided to take a walk. Opening the door, he stepped into the dark hallway. He closed the door quietly—and then, without meaning to, glanced across the hall.
He was about to pass by when—
“…ngh…”
A faint sound brushed past his ears in the silence. A tiny, fading moan.
Lazette stopped.
He looked toward the source. The room across from him—Lizenne’s room.
The girl who’d dragged him here and committed endless madness.
‘You’re not Calib—!’
A sudden impulse rose within him.
Lazette opened Lizenne’s door. There wasn’t a single candle lit, but his eyes were already accustomed to the dark.
Should I kill her?
Now was the chance.
The Count was gone. The servants who’d come along were drunk and asleep. If he strangled that thin neck and threw her into the sea, no one would ever know.
“What should I do…?”
He hated Lizenne. Beyond hatred—he loathed her.
She’d bound his entire life to herself. Turned Lazette into a doll that existed only for her, smiled for her, cried for her.
She’d even cast a spell on his heart.
Thinking about it made his anger flare hotter.
“Lizenne, this is all your fault.”
His hand reached out. Thump, thump. His heart pounded wildly.
‘I want you to stay by my side. By your own will.’
‘I don’t want to ruin you. Help me not ruin you.’
His hand was just about to touch her slender neck when her past words echoed in his head.
I don’t want to ruin you.
Words whose meaning he still couldn’t grasp.
Words he couldn’t tell were true or false.
“…No. No…”
Lazette bent over, looking down at Lizenne. His hand hovered close enough to strangle her, green eyes glinting in the dark.
Though her eyes were closed, Lizenne spoke—as if she knew he was about to kill her.
“No… don’t… Cal… ib…”
Her eyelashes trembled. Her brows were tightly furrowed, as if trapped in a nightmare.
“Don’t die…”
Her lips parted, fragile words spilling out.
“You can’t… die… hic… I’ll… I’ll go instead…”
Lazette froze, staring at her. Up close, her face was drenched in cold sweat.
“Hic… ngh…”
Her face twisted miserably as thick tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Because of me…”
Her voice was strangled.
“I… I’m… I…”
She gasped as if being strangled. Startled, Lazette looked at his hand—but it was still hovering, barely not touching her neck.
He jerked it back.
‘What was I thinking…’
He hated Lizenne, but he didn’t want to kill her. Or rather, he tried not to.
He’d worked hard to empty his mind, to avoid looking at her neck at all.
At least, he thought he had.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”
She kept crying. Who was she apologizing to? The dead brother she couldn’t forget?
As “Calib,” Lazette had heard and learned many things.
Who “Calib Vistor” was. What he liked and hated. And about the “accident” that day.
Lizenne never spoke in detail about the day her brother died. She only repeated that there was a fire, that she’d escaped alone, and that she needed to go back and save him—crying all the while.
Once, long ago—before he’d experienced her cruelty—he’d even felt sympathy for her.
“I’m… sorry…”
Ha.
Lazette let out a bitter laugh.
That compassion he’d thought long buried beneath her inhuman control was lifting its head again.
How pathetic.
“…Are you doing this on purpose?”
