MFBO 09

Chapter – 09

I only realized it now.

Lazette had agonized over it. After I disappeared, left all alone, he’d been given a chance to escape.

In the freedom he had long yearned for, he must have experienced countless emotions.

Hope—called opportunity—must have shaken him, only for the spell binding him to snatch that hope away.

Despair. And after that, the helplessness of being unable to do anything at all.

I had been careless. Arrogant. Drunk on the conceit that I could redefine our relationship, I overlooked the single most important fact.

“Were you scared?”

After a long silence, I finally asked. This wasn’t something that could be brushed aside with a simple apology. Unintentionally, I had all but tormented Lazette.

“How scared were you?”

I bent one knee and knelt before him, meeting his pale face at eye level. At least right now, he wasn’t Calib—he was simply Lazette.

His lips twitched before he spat out the truth.

“So much I wanted to kill you.”

“……”

“I was furious.”

And amid the guilt tightening its grip on me, I saw hope.

Lazette had spent so long pretending to be someone else that he’d nearly lost himself—along with the ability to express his emotions.

But not now.

He wasn’t broken beyond repair yet.

“Keep doing that.”

“……What?”

“Keep getting angry. When you’re angry at me, be honest like this. Don’t force yourself to smile. Don’t hold it in. Don’t cry, either.”

So that Lazette wouldn’t lose himself.

So that he could live as Lazette, not Calib.

That was the only way for me to survive as well. To do that, I had to let him release the emotions he’d suppressed all this time.

“What kind of trick is this?”

His voice sounded as if it were submerged underwater, thick and strained. The crack in it demanded an explanation.

What should I say?

“I guess I’m just tired of playing with dolls.”

Mentioning that Calib was ‘dead’ was taboo.

The only reason Lazette could remain at the count’s estate was because he played the role of Calib—because that role bound us together as ‘family.’

I had to leave room for that bond to continue.

Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to undo the spell. The original story had skipped over it. Until the spell was lifted, I had to keep living with him ‘as before.’

“I wasn’t playing with you. I just wanted to walk around the city alone.”

“……”

“I’ve never wandered freely before. Except… a very long time ago.”

I took his hand. Lazette—who had always seemed so blank—now felt painfully pitiful. And guilty, too. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the suffocating fear he must have felt.

“I’m serious. You can believe me.”

“Why are you suddenly acting like this? Did you forget what you did to me?”

“……”

“You already confirmed that I’m in the palm of your hand because of that damned spell. What more do you want from me?”

I couldn’t answer.

I thought I understood how he felt.

Once, Lazette had tried to run away, unable to endure Lizenne’s madness. He failed. When Lizenne realized he’d fled, she used the spell.

Watching Lazette crawl on the floor in agony, Lizenne never used the spell again.

But that single warning was more than enough to bind him.

The pain—like his heart was about to burst.

Only Lazette knew that agony.

“I didn’t intend to today—”

Before I could finish, Lazette let out a hollow laugh.

“You told me to go stay with your disgusting knights?”

“……”

“Be honest, Lizenne. You thought I’d run away, didn’t you? That’s why you said that bullshit. You wanted to see whether I’d come back to you, right?”

He was completely mistaken—convinced that leaving him behind was a test, that I was forcing him to choose.

Coming to the count’s estate from the orphanage had been Lazette’s choice. No matter the circumstances, that fact remained.

He must have regretted that choice countless times.

Now, he’d been given another chance to choose.

But with the spell binding him, he couldn’t run. And going on his own feet to my family’s knights would have felt like humiliation.

I fidgeted with the memory potion hidden in my pocket, unsure how to clear up the misunderstanding.

Should I give it to him and tell the truth?

After a brief hesitation, I decided against it.

“I went to get Amy,” I said honestly. “I didn’t take you with me because of her privacy.”

“Amy?”

His brow furrowed in surprise.

“Even employees deserve privacy.”

I nodded toward the carriage stopped at the mouth of the alley.

“She’s in there. You can check if you want. Actually, we’re riding together anyway, so you’ll see.”

Even if I gave him the memory potion now, there was little chance he’d believe me. I’d be lucky if he didn’t think I was trying to poison him.

I needed time—time to grow closer to him. Close enough that he wouldn’t doubt me even if I gave him the potion.

“I regret what happened before… too.”

Strictly speaking, I hadn’t been the one to torment Lazette. But the original Lizenne had thought much the same as I did. She’d regretted using the spell the moment she saw him struggle—so deeply that she never used it again.

Lizenne hadn’t wanted to hurt him.

She’d only wanted to hold on to her dead brother’s replacement.

I reached out and grasped his bruised, reddened hand.

His body felt cold—still strained, still tense. I squeezed his hand firmly, as if to share my warmth.

“Let’s go back. It’s time.”

* * *

We acted as if nothing had happened.

Neither Lazette nor I mentioned the alleyway. It was an unspoken agreement.

“Amy saved me.”

Bringing Amy back caused an uproar at the count’s estate.

Being summoned to the count’s office was inevitable. But after coming here twice already, even this suffocating room felt almost familiar.

The count looked at me as if he couldn’t believe his ears. His face stiffened as though he might explode—but what came out was a sigh, not a shout.

“Why did you shake off the knights?”

That came before any mention of Amy.

“I just thought it’d be fun.”

“Fun?”

“Yes. You know—those days when you want to ditch everyone and run alone. Don’t you ever feel that way, Father?”

I was talking nonsense.

“Do you have any idea what could’ve happened—!”

“But I came back safely.”

“Lizenne.”

“I was suffocating. I’ve practically been locked inside the estate. Please… just this once.”

“You’re still a reckless child. Do you know how many people suffered because of you?”

“I am a child.”

“What…?”

I wasn’t even sixteen yet. Even if an adult soul lived inside me, Lizenne’s body was still that of a child.

“I think you forgot. I’m still years away from my coming-of-age ceremony.”

That ceremony took place at nineteen.

The count stared at me, stunned.

“I do realize I was careless this time. I regret causing trouble for so many people…”

Honestly, what had the knights done wrong? I’d shaken them off for my own purposes—there’d been no malice toward them.

“But the reason I made it back safely is thanks to Amy. She said she wants to repent. Please give her another chance.”

“You want me to take back the maid who abused you? Does it have to be Amy?”

The count spoke as though no one else existed in the room.

Amy had told me, ‘If I hear you ask the count to take me back with my own ears, I’ll give you the potion.’ That was why I’d dragged her here.

I turned slightly to look at Amy standing beside me.

“Amy saved me. If I’d been dragged off by those ruffians, I’d probably be dead.”

There were no ruffians, of course.

But if I wanted Amy reinstated, I needed a lie that big.

“Haa…”

“She wasn’t cruel to me from the start. If you improve the maids’待遇 and raise their wages, this won’t happen again. And I won’t let it happen again either.”

The count looked utterly exasperated.

“I’ll assign you two personal maids. I’ll take Amy back since you’re insisting—but we’ll add another to keep her in check.”

Even a disliked child was still his child, apparently.

He’d neglected Lizenne all this time, yet acted shocked that she’d been abused.

Still, it was a compromise. I accepted it.

“Oh—and one more thing.”

I stood to leave, then remembered something and turned back.

With the most pitiful expression I could manage, I shook my empty coin pouch.

“Please give me some allowance…”

Not even dust came out. The count frowned deeply.

Lizenne received a monthly allowance. Spending it all before even half of March had passed meant outrageous extravagance.

“You’ve already spent it all?”

His face twisted.

“Weapons and gifts for my brother.”

“……”

The count—who had clearly been about to lecture me—fell silent.

The air suddenly grew heavy.

“…How long do you intend to cling to Calib?”

“Pardon?”

“No—never mind. I misspoke.”

I realized then that he pitied me.

A daughter who believed her dead brother was still alive and bought him gifts—both pitiful and painful to watch.

If that was how he felt, then why had he treated his daughter this way all along?

“I want to give Calib something even better.”

I clicked my tongue internally and pressed harder on his guilt.

And so, by acting as pitiful as I could, I successfully wrung a generous sum of money out of the count.