KMKS 21

chapter 21

Even though Aiden hadn’t said a word, Sarah couldn’t shake the feeling that he was somehow disappointed in her.

His tightly sealed lips and the heavy silence made it clear.

Sarah didn’t know what to do in the face of that silence.

Had she perhaps made a mistake? Her fingers fidgeted restlessly, brushing over her clothes.

A wager that had once meant nothing suddenly became more than a simple bet because of her answer.

Rain or no rain, her mind was filled with the thought that it was something beyond her control.

“…I’ll go up now.”

Her voice sank, like cotton soaked in water.

She stood, unable to remain there any longer.

For a brief moment, Aiden’s blue eyes, fixed on her, churned with emotions she couldn’t name.

Since her husband’s accident, Sarah had always wondered—why he looked at her that way, what emotions were hidden in his gaze.

Was it pity?

They weren’t close enough for her to ask. Even if they had grown nearer lately, he was still a man whose memory could return at any moment.

Even if she asked, even if he admitted it was pity—what could she possibly say in return?

So she turned away, forcing her steps into something like escape.

But Aiden didn’t stop her.

Perhaps he really was disappointed in her.

But why?

Disappointment was an emotion born from expectation.

What could he possibly expect from her?

[Embroidery, knitting, tending to the garden—do whatever you wish.]

[Even if you do nothing with me, I only hope you spend your time wholly as your own.]

It had sounded almost like expectation.

She didn’t know why those words came back to her now. She tied her heart down, telling herself it was a meaningless thought.

It was easier to think that way. With hurried steps, she returned to her room.

Behind the curtains, in the dim shadow of her chamber, Sarah collapsed onto the bed and finally let out a shaky sigh.

Aiden was one thing—but her unease quickly shifted toward Duke Winston.

Strangely, her recent anxieties all seemed to stem from that man.

Aside from bumping into him on the street, they had no connection whatsoever.

And yet, it felt as though he were laughing at her—mocking her as if to say, I knew it would turn out this way.

Despite his lack of a harsh face, despite the glowing reputation he held in society, she imagined that sneer.

And beneath it, her husband’s voice echoed:

[Do you think you’re capable of anything?]

[You can’t even satisfy a man at night, and you think you matter?]

Words he had once hurled at her spilled over, mingling with Winston’s imagined ridicule.

He was a man who had nothing to do with her, and yet the pain at the pit of her stomach made it feel deeply connected.

When she bumped into him on the street, when she had looked down from the second-floor balcony and seen him, even the mere thought of him now made her palms sweat.

It was because she had glimpsed in the Duke what she had never again seen in Aiden since his memory loss.

Sarah scrubbed her hand roughly against her skirt.

What had she thought, watching him—his coarse, unrefined behavior, the disdain in his eyes, the way he crushed fresh green leaves beneath his boot without a thought?

…They’re alike.

Chillingly so.

They didn’t look alike in the slightest, but his attitude, the atmosphere that slipped through—that reminded her too much of her husband before the accident.

Sarah didn’t know why she thought so. If anyone had read her mind, they would have scolded her for such nonsense.

But instinct told her one truth: Leo Winston, Duke of Winston, was dangerous.

She wanted to avoid him, to never come into conflict with him in any way. She stayed on edge because of it.

Yet, as if mocking her efforts, he appeared before her again, wearing a chilling smile.

Like the rain soon to fall—she would not be able to escape it. She would simply be drenched, defenseless.

Sarah pressed a trembling hand over her chest.

The Duke’s presence and her husband’s old voice mingled, swirling in her heart until she felt sick.

She tried to erase both men’s images from her mind, but it was impossible.

Then, suddenly—knock, knock.

The sound of someone at the door made her heart race wildly.

“…Um…”

It wasn’t an unwelcome intruder. It was Bibi, peeking in cautiously through the crack.

Gathering herself, Sarah straightened her clothes.

“It’s nothing important! I just thought, maybe, you might need me…”

Bibi waved her hands in embarrassment, worried she might be intruding.

“I didn’t mean to startle you, truly.”

Looking at the timid girl, Sarah suddenly felt sure—it must have been Aiden who had sent her up.

“Um, maybe I could… keep you company for a bit?”

Only then did Sarah notice her own reflection in the mirror across the room.

Stray hairs stuck out everywhere, and shadows darkened her face from brooding thoughts.

She looked a complete mess.

“Oh dear. I didn’t even realize I looked like this.”

A faint laugh slipped out.

Embarrassed, she hesitated on whether to let Bibi in. But what good would solitude do? She’d only sink deeper into her thoughts, fall asleep in them, and be plagued by nightmares.

Perhaps it was better not to think at all.

And hadn’t Bibi’s presence already drawn a soft laugh from her?

“You may come in.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

As Sarah tidied her hair and welcomed her, Bibi eagerly scurried to her side.

“A new bakery opened just down the road. Did you know, my lady? I heard it from Mr. Hans.”

Then she prattled on without pause, as if determined not to let Sarah dwell on darker thoughts.

“They say it’s a bit pricey, though. Still, the smell of the bread is heavenly! Oh, my lady, what kind of bread do you like best?”

Animatedly using her hands and feet, she tried her best to cheer Sarah.

“I’ll buy some for you next time!”

Until now, Sarah had been the only one struggling to be accepted as the baron’s wife. But now, Bibi was making efforts for her too.

That warmed her heart.

For the first time, Sarah found someone in this household she could feel attached to.

“Oh! Did you hear, my lady?”

“What is it?”

Sarah found herself naturally leaning into the chatter.

Bibi’s lively voice made her eager to hear more.

“Do you remember the maid, Lea, the one who was dismissed?”

Sarah nodded.

Lea—the one who had once left Sarah’s room hiding something in her clothes. Likely because of that, she had been dismissed by Aiden.

And Olga, his mother, must have been displeased that her son had fired a servant without telling her.

“Well, she seems to have found new employment. It can’t have been easy, after being sent away under such circumstances. I don’t know how she managed it.”

“…She was good at her work.”

Aside from stealing Sarah’s belongings, Lea had no real faults as a servant.

“But apparently, she sent a letter! Some of the staff were reading it.”

It seemed Lea had used her own money to post a letter back to the manor, perhaps wanting to send her regards after serving so long.

Sarah had been a little curious what it said, but Bibi shared it first.

“I didn’t read much, but it sounds like her new employer is quite the character. A bit like our master before the accident.”

The words slipped out—and Bibi clapped a hand over her mouth, realizing she might have gone too far.

“Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that—!”

“It’s alright.”

“…Pardon?”

“I think the same sometimes.”

If Aiden were still the man he had been before the accident, insults would have been commonplace. Sarah wouldn’t have been able to share such a conversation with Bibi.

Nor would he have sent Bibi to cheer her up. Back then, he cared only for himself.

Lea would never have been dismissed for stealing.

And Sarah—starving, stripped of dignity—would have been trapped in a nightmare.

She suddenly regretted leaving his study in a fit of emotion earlier.

…I should apologize.

Her glossy brown hair, her body slowly filling out again from its once frail state—all of it was thanks to Aiden.

Because he had changed.

Sensing her heavy thoughts, Bibi quickly launched into another cheerful tale.

Sarah only listened, but that was enough.

Their chatter stretched late into the night—until a voice called from outside.

“…I think someone’s calling for you, my lady.”

Bibi’s eyes widened, pointing toward the window.

“My wife—!”

It really was Aiden’s voice.

He was calling to her with a tone that had never once carried disappointment.

Sarah rushed toward the curtained window but stopped short, frozen. Her feet refused to move.

This drew a puzzled question from Bibi.

“What’s wrong, my lady?”

Sarah couldn’t yet bring herself to look outside.

Her hand moved to her chest. Her heart was pounding irregularly.

If she only drew back the curtain, she would see him.

But she didn’t want to feel that helplessness again—that inability to control herself.

Hadn’t she already broken down so many times?

And wasn’t it absurd, after vowing to apologize, that she now hesitated?

If she didn’t look out tonight…

Tomorrow?

Would she have the courage tomorrow?

Her hand twitched once more at her chest.

“My lady…”

“My wife, look outside!”

Behind her, Bibi pleaded. And beyond the window, Aiden called again, louder this time.