FMLDM 71

Chapter 71

Shattered Trust

As the day of departure drew nearer, I reduced the number of times I went to see Macaron. Today, after seeing the gloomy faces of Sir Momont and Sir Aint, I turned back again. Of course, Macaron himself hadn’t changed at all. The real reason I wandered around the west annex several times before leaving was something else entirely.

Whenever I saw Macaron, I felt as though I might end up telling him everything in my heart.

After receiving Evelyn’s letter, I agonized endlessly, and the conclusion I finally came to was… to leave Macaron.

He had told me not to worry, but I feared I might never see him again. I trusted him, but trust was fragile before love—it shattered into pieces, drifting away.

A secret I couldn’t share with anyone grew like a knot inside me, weighing me down. I had been avoiding him for days, afraid he would see through me. Thankfully, Macaron was too busy to notice, which was a relief in itself.

In the end, today I picked up a quill and wrote a reply to Evelyn.

“Tomorrow at 10 a.m. I will wait at the Terradium.”

I was staring blankly at the back of my familiar servant beast when, with a knock, Macaron entered the room. The first thing I noticed was his face—thinner than before, almost gaunt.

‘He must be busy… so why did he come here?’

Even so, selfishly, I was glad to have him in front of me. Once he left for the battlefield, I might never see him again. I wanted to hold on to his face as much as I could.

Looking at him, words I couldn’t say echoed inside me. I turned my head to hide the tears welling up and forced a bright smile for him. The most important thing was that he returned alive and safe. Even if I wasn’t by his side then, that alone would be enough.

I should have spoken casually—asked what brought him here, whether preparations for war were going well. But emotion surged so sharply in my throat that I couldn’t bring myself to speak. He filled the silence instead.

“Forgive me… I’ve been neglectful.”

“What do you mean…?”

I lifted my gaze. His expression was not ordinary. Wondering why, I studied him closely. He exhaled a long breath, his eyes fixed firmly on me.

“I heard from Momont. That you learned everything about Evelyn’s private soldiers.”

“……”

“Momont spoke thoughtlessly. Please don’t hold it against him.”

“Hold it against him? He didn’t say anything wrong.”

That day replayed in my mind, and my face sagged unconsciously. Perhaps because of that, Macaron began waving his hand repeatedly, restless, muttering that Momont was a fool, pacing anxiously for several minutes.

“We’ll be fine without the Rifleur family’s soldiers. Truly. Please don’t worry.”

His lips carried a faint smile. That pure, transparent smile of his made people want to believe him. But to me, who feared losing him, his comfort only deepened the wound.

Because this wasn’t only about him—it was about the lives of everyone who followed him. I wanted to believe him, but reality couldn’t be ignored. The day of departure was nearly upon us, and aside from asking the Rifleur family for soldiers, there was no other solution.

If I left, it would all be resolved cleanly. Just as we had originally agreed in our contract. I was never meant to be here. Perhaps it was my greed, wanting too much, that brought us here.

Macaron was too great a man for someone like me.

Unable to tell him the truth yet forced to leave, my chest felt unbearably tight. His faint smile spread softly, while voices echoed faintly outside. He painted our future together as beautifully as always.

“When I return from war, I will formally propose to you.”

“……”

“And, I won’t accept a refusal.”

I gave a weak smile, watching his gaze intertwine with mine. By then, I would already be gone. I couldn’t crush his dream now.

“…Just come back safely.”

Moisture welled at the corners of my eyes; I barely contained it. Perhaps it was fortunate the room was dark and he couldn’t see my expression.

Macaron’s shadow drew closer, wrapping me in a warm embrace.

“I will come to fetch you as the crown princess, in the Empire’s finest carriage.”

Not empress, but crown princess. That weight was what made me unable to remain by his side—it crushed me again. What was so important about that title? And yet, I couldn’t stop him. He wanted to raise me to that seat, and I loved him for it.

For my sake alone, Macaron had already given up so much.

I’d heard his confessions countless times, but today, my heart sank heavily. His vision of a happy future only filled my eyes with tears. Because I wouldn’t be part of that future—and my absence would wound him deeply.

Even knowing this, I had to leave his side. The thought was unbearable, leaving my chest aching. But eventually, Macaron too would forget our memories and continue living. That I could fade from him was both bitter and a blessing.

“…I’ll be back soon.”

‘If only he really could return soon, as he says…’

In the original story, after Reiner became emperor, Mitnut’s provocations only escalated. In the end, Reiner led the Imperial Army into battle to slaughter them. Only after six long months, with countless sacrifices, did the war finally end.

But Macaron had no Imperial Army—only nobles’ private soldiers. This battle would not be easy for him. The only thing I could do for him now was leave his side.

On the day victory was declared in Crayd, I would depart from here.

As though sensing this, he hugged me. I embraced him back, wanting to comfort the Macaron who would remain alone in the future.

Perhaps because the room was dark, his breathing sounded louder than usual. I felt his red eyes on me. His familiar, refreshing scent stirred, and the memory of our first meeting flickered through my mind like a lantern show.

Maybe it was because I longed to return to that day. Though even if time rewound, nothing would change.

When we first met, Macaron admitted he feared I might feel something more. And in the end, everything turned out just as he had feared.

Once just a contract husband, he gradually crossed into my heart.

That day he first came to the east annex.
The sight of him waiting for me below the stairs.
The Macaron who asked me to hold him.
His transparent, crimson eyes staring at me.
…And the awkward smile that would remain forever.

I loved that Macaron.

From where I lay against the bedframe, a photo of him came into clear view. The time had come for me to disappear from that picture. Soon, another woman would take my place in it.

He would be able to forget me without regret.

I wanted him to forget—yet I also wished to remain in his memory. How contradictory.

My restless feelings blew through me like the wind, shaking me. In time, he too would accept it. This was the better choice—for him, and for me.

A person who leaves shouldn’t linger too long in memory. It only leaves deep, lasting pain.

So I would send him off with a smile, as I had on the day we first met.

When he became emperor, he would soar on strong wings. I… I had to disappear quickly, before I could melt those wings away.

For him. And for the me who loved him.

I bit my lips, ignoring the tear that rolled down my cheek. A man departing for battle. Just one thing I wished to say to him—

“Don’t get hurt.”

Because it would break my heart—those words I swallowed back.

Until dawn broke, we held each other that way. A heartbeat, I didn’t know whose, thundered against my chest, shaking me, but I pretended not to notice.

When sunlight crept over the earth, I heard him quietly slip away. Only then did I rise.

Opening the calendar, I saw the date marked—just one day left, “departure.” I stared at it blankly before moving to my vanity. Evelyn’s note was still there, crumpled. I folded it away, dressed carefully, and left the mansion quietly by carriage.

Not in a Crayd-marked carriage, but a private one. It felt like going back to before I had ever met Macaron. My head spun and my stomach churned, just like my heart.

The thought of meeting Evelyn made it worse, so I forced my mind blank.

When I opened the window, cold wind whipped my face. Even in the crowded streets, my heart felt lonely.

Soon the carriage turned down a deserted road and stopped before the Terradium, our meeting place.

As I stepped down, the quiet interior of the café came into view. I remembered passing it before on a date with Macaron—but it felt completely different now. Of course, how could the mood be the same when the situation was so different?

I shook my head and went inside. A familiar back was already there. Even among several people, her violet hair stood out. It was Evelyn.

I sat across from her, and soon a cup of fragrant tea was set before me. Steam rose warmly, yet the space felt cold. Evelyn lowered her coffee cup, then lifted her blue eyes to meet mine.

“In the end, we meet again.”

“……”

Our last encounter had ended poorly. Knowing what conversation awaited today, I only wished to finish quickly. As I hesitated, she spoke first.

“Looking back, I think I lost my temper that day. I’m sorry.”

‘An apology? From her? That doesn’t suit her at all.’

Evelyn was not the type to apologize.

“Sorry or not, I asked you here today because I have something to say.”

“I expected as much, so please don’t circle around—get straight to the point.”

“If you expected it, then I’ll speak plainly.”

“……”

“As you know, the nobles won’t move. Prince Reiner has them all by their weaknesses.”

Her words were calmer than last time, no longer emotional, but pointed at a harsh reality I couldn’t deny.

As my face fell, she gazed at me with a sorrowful expression and spoke.

“The only way to overturn the situation is for the Rifleur family to act. His Highness needs someone who can help him now.”

I already knew everything she was saying. Yet hearing it from her lips only made me feel more miserable.

She delivered the final blow, piercing to the bottom of my heart.

“And what help can you possibly be?”