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Chapter 39
Knowing the Confession
January 16, 2021
Seeing the resentful look in his eyes, my past misdeeds dominated my thoughts once again.
“I think I made a lot of mistakes yesterday… I’m sorry.”
After I used the word “mistake,” his expression visibly stiffened. Holding hands, sharing a kiss… Honestly, it wasn’t a mistake. If I couldn’t remember everything, that would have been a lie. Even in the intoxicated haze, the moist warmth of his lips made me intermittently aware that it was Macaron. Even knowing everything, I held him deeply. Macaron accepted me like someone who had been parched for a long time. The problem was that it ended there. We had lost ourselves without doing everything we could… That was the true crime. I knew better than anyone what it meant for adult men and women—contracted spouses who had never truly desired each other—to spend the night in the same room. From Macaron’s perspective, such a bewildered expression was understandable. After all, I had brushed it off as a “mistake.” Yet, instead of scolding me, he asked gently:
“Do you remember what happened yesterday?”
I had pretended ignorance all night, and I couldn’t confess now. I forced the most innocent expression I could, pretending I remembered nothing.
“I’m sorry. I… don’t remember.”
After saying that, I felt my face heat up with shamelessness. Macaron looked at me with resignation. An indescribable emotion flickered in his eyes and disappeared. He then turned his gaze to the distant horizon, a hint of melancholy lingering, yet still considerate of me until the end.
“You don’t have to apologize, nothing happened.”
As I looked at Macaron’s nose, sharp and sculpted, my gaze naturally drifted to his lips. Those lips, so alluring and passionate, rekindled the memory of yesterday’s heat. I wanted to touch them again, yet fear and desire battled within me. That such a mere thing as lips could stir my entire body with heat felt absurd. Each word of his confession had transferred from my brain to my heart. Macaron liked me. He wanted to be with me—not just for a year, but forever. I had vaguely known, but hearing it directly for the first time was different. His first confession laid the invisible before my eyes. The words about wanting to hold me, asking me to show him how, struck my heart hard.
‘Can I really stay by his side for a long time?’
‘Will my status, my very existence, become an obstacle to his future?’
I could understand this strong heartbeat, this feeling, even though it was my first time experiencing it. In fact, first experiences struck more strongly and entwined me so I couldn’t escape. I knew Calypse’s low social rank made a true “marriage” with him absurd, not a mere “contract.” Especially considering the children. Entangling with Macaron wasn’t the best choice. Yet, could I not desire to stay by the side of Macaron, who would live as a duke rather than an emperor? His broad back still looked sorrowful, so I silently gazed at it. At that moment, he turned and our eyes met. Feeling as if my thoughts had been discovered, I quickly shifted the topic.
“Where are the children?”
The question, aimed at changing the subject, sounded surprisingly natural. But perhaps Macaron could see my intentions, because he smiled.
“They wanted to ride, so I prepared it.”
Following his pointed finger, I saw Kai and Coral on horseback. Watching the children laughing freely, all strange thoughts vanished, and a smile bloomed naturally on my face. Peace settled over my heart like a spring breeze. I let Macaron’s subtle hand-holding slide by unnoticed.
After several laps around the rose garden, Coral, riding a horse for the first time, gradually found her balance. Kai carefully guided his horse, and below, Sir Momont firmly held the reins, contributing greatly. The horse’s slow pace was even slower than walking. Then Coral’s small voice reached Kai’s back.
“Oppa, you got a present from Lea unnie, didn’t you?”
“How did you know?”
Kai looked a little flustered, but thankfully, Coral didn’t notice.
“Everyone at the academy knows Lea unnie likes you.”
Sir Momont glanced at Kai, who paused for a moment. With a serious expression, Kai finally spoke:
“Are you jealous now?”
“Why would I be?”
“Don’t worry. Oppa is loyal like a sunflower.”
“Oppa, what are you talking about!”
Kai’s playful smile made Coral pout. Watching the children, Momont thought it was incredible that kids so young could say such things. It was clear the young lady and young master had learned strange things from the prince. Still, Momont couldn’t help smiling. After a brief silence, Coral spoke first.
“So, what’s the present?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you know?”
“I returned it.”
“Why would you return a present?”
“I’m not interested in Lea.”
A hush fell. Coral broke the silence.
“Then who are you interested in?”
Kai hesitated, his pupils wandering aimlessly.
“That’s… a secret.”
“Oppa, you must be really devoted.”
“What’s that?”
“It means you only like one girl, according to Mom.”
“Then that’s exactly me, devoted.”
His dreamy gaze into the distance resembled Macaron’s look at Calypse. Momont once had doubts himself:
‘Could the young master I brought from the battlefield not be the prince’s son?’
Yet seeing this scene, how could he ever doubt it? Watching Kai grow more and more like Macaron, Momont concluded that young master Kai must be the prince’s son.
After several rounds around the garden, the rich scent of phytoncides filling the air, the children’s stomachs reminded me it was time for food. Even with a detailed plan considering the aftermath of yesterday, the household staff-free mansion meant Macaron’s knife skills rang through the kitchen. Though he said he wanted to cook himself, it turned out he was quite skilled. His familiar knife techniques and wrist movements showed mastery even with simple dishes. Seeing his skill brought a strange mix of pride and curiosity.
‘Where would he have learned this?’
With so many chefs in the mansion, he rarely had a chance to cook. Yet he clearly wanted to do it himself. Perhaps… it was for his late wife, someone still precious in his memories.
The freshly made toast, with sizzling eggs, ham, and vegetables, looked delicious. I shook off strange thoughts and smiled.
“I’ll bring the children.”
Leaving Macaron, who nodded silently, I went down the floor. The cool breeze refreshed me. Outside, the children were dismounting, looking hungry. Sir Momont lifted Coral and set her down gently, while Kai jumped after. Coral, clearly enjoying riding, laughed brightly, and Kai’s face flushed as he watched her. She noticed me and ran toward me, shouting:
“Mom!”
Lately, Coral loved running.
“Be careful, Coral.”
But the words didn’t seem to reach her. She ran, arms outstretched, losing her balance.
“Coral!”
She stumbled over a stone and fell. Getting up, she tried to smile, but a faint grimace of pain was visible. Blood seeped from her knee. I ran toward her, but Kai reached her first. Entrusting her to Kai, I quickly went to fetch the first-aid kit. Though a common childhood injury, I worried about scarring.
Yet all the while, Kai’s hand rested on Coral’s injured knee.
‘Wouldn’t that hurt more…?’
I approached quickly, and Kai removed his hand as if guilty. Then…
‘What?’
The red wound on Coral’s knee had vanished. Kai looked at me stiffly, as if hiding the truth, and Coral proudly said:
“Mom, Oppa healed me.”
Her knee looked completely fine. I was stunned. Could I have imagined it? No, I clearly saw the bright red blood. How could it vanish, especially after scraping against the hard sandy ground?
‘What on earth…’
It was unbelievable.
“Oppa, you’re amazing!”
“….”
“I touched it and then let go, and it was fine, right, Oppa?”
Watching Coral imitate the earlier scene, I became even more stunned.
‘Could it be… Kai has healing abilities?’
Divine power was a rare talent, found only in the Holy Kingdom of Halatis, passed down through royalty or special nobility.
‘Then Kai’s mother…’
Since he had been moved to the Holy Kingdom, it made sense. My suspicions were confirmed, leaving me uneasy.
‘What kind of person is Kai’s mother?’
The question lingered in my mind, unanswered.
