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Chapter 14
The End of First Affection
Yeon-woo’s face was already drenched in tears.
“…Ugh, hhh…”
“You really came here to die this time?”
Just like me, Jung-ha was drenched in sweat despite the winter cold. He yanked Yeon-woo’s wrist painfully.
“Uhh, uhh!” Yeon-woo gasped like someone who had forgotten how to speak, and Jung-ha, his face twisted into something frightening, spat out harsh words.
“What the hell are you planning to do with those bastards? Shit, what if they sell you off? Were you planning to beg like this just to get some debt relief? Is that why you’ve been crawling on the ground?”
“N-no, that’s not it…”
“You think I don’t know what goes on in people like you? Shit, you all think your lives are the only fucked-up ones in the world.”
“It’s not like that…”
I just wanted to live. That’s why I couldn’t go, why I stayed sitting here.
Hunched over, Yeon-woo sobbed as if desperate not to let anyone else see this wretched state.
“It’s not like that… it’s not… Hhh, what gives you the right to talk to me like that?”
“Then what is it? What? Is it the debt? Or living here getting beaten up by that crazy bastard? What’s the thing that’ll make me understand this shitty mess of yours?”
“It’s not, it’s not!”
“Fuck, then what?”
There was nothing in Yeon-woo’s trembling words but the thrashing of someone driven to the edge of despair. His small body shook.
“Then what the hell do you want me to do?!”
“Ha… shit.”
“Hhh… if you were me, do you think it’d be any different? Life looks easy when you’re born a rich boy, huh? If you think I’m pathetic, you could’ve just passed me by!”
Jung-ha, who had been breathing harshly, finally exhaled in one long sigh and crouched down in front of Yeon-woo. In his hand, the one that had only spoken cold words, was a pink scarf.
“Seo Yeon-woo.”
“Hhh… hhhk…”
“If you came out holding my hand, then live.”
“…”
“Live. You live.”
Yeon-woo couldn’t quite see how battered Jung-ha’s face looked when he said those words, or how deep the weight of those words ran. Nor could he fully grasp the meaning of you live.
But he did feel the warmth of a fine pink scarf wrapping snugly around his cold neck, chilled from the sweat drying in the winter air.
Yeon-woo bit his lips, trying to stifle his sobs. His lips swelled into a bright, cherry-red.
“Let’s go.”
“…”
It seemed Yeon-woo had twisted his ankle when he fell. Even when Jung-ha tried to pull him up, he couldn’t keep his balance. So Jung-ha simply lifted Yeon-woo onto his back and carried him toward a place without people.
Gradually, the shouting voices and the sirens of police cars faded. Their two retreating figures shrank into dots before vanishing into the lonely forest.
Between the bare, shabby gingko trees, Yeon-woo panted heavily. Only once his vision cleared did he realize Jung-ha was still with him—that Jung-ha had dragged him out of hell and escaped together.
“…Why are you always right in front of me?”
Yeon-woo muttered. Jung-ha, who sat down beside him and propped up his leg, lifted his ankle to examine it.
“Then don’t make yourself so damn noticeable.”
“…It’s not like I do it on purpose, ah.”
His ankle wasn’t swollen. Jung-ha let it down again. Beneath the thickest tree trunk, Yeon-woo’s hammering heart gradually calmed.
Then Jung-ha’s words resurfaced: people like you all think the same things. Beneath those rough words had been a strange kindness. People like you… Yeon-woo wondered briefly what that really meant, but his exhaustion swept the thought away.
“…”
The forest had long since turned barren, yet the scent of trees lingered. Yeon-woo already knew that scent came from Jung-ha.
Without thinking, he wriggled his nose and took slow breaths.
“Don’t act like you know me in front of others.”
“What for?”
“By now, the whole town probably knows. I’m the one they’re looking for.”
“Why should I care?”
Yeon-woo mimicked Jung-ha’s very tone from that day in town, when he’d glared at him.
It wasn’t much of an answer, but a faint smile twitched at Yeon-woo’s lips. Strangely, when he was beside Jung-ha, the future didn’t weigh on him. That made things less frightening.
“Even the Madam doesn’t like seeing us together. It’s easier for you that way too.”
“I’ll handle that myself.”
“You should listen to her.”
“Don’t treat me like a kid. Ever seen a kid this big?”
At that, Jung-ha gave a soft, languid laugh. Just like on the day Yeon-woo had wanted to die, snowflakes began to fall one by one.
Sitting on the hard, frozen ground, their shoulders brushed lightly. This time, neither of them pulled away. They shared warmth.
“…”
Snowflakes landed gently on Yeon-woo’s eyelashes, and he blinked them away. He caught sight of snow dusting the back of Jung-ha’s hand, but didn’t dare glance at his face.
Instead, with each blink and the brief darkness between, Yeon-woo drew Jung-ha’s face in his mind—the tall bridge of his nose, his longer-than-expected eyelashes.
He didn’t remember when he’d seen them so clearly. He just knew. And when the image of Jung-ha’s face fully formed in his mind, Yeon-woo’s heart thudded down hard in his chest.
He didn’t need to be taught to know what that sign meant.
“…Anyway, don’t act like you know me. If you do, I’ll get dragged into the mess too.”
Yeon-woo’s heart, which had just begun finding a steady rhythm, stuttered uneasily. He turned his face deliberately away from Jung-ha. A warning bell whispered in his ear—staying like this, alone together, was dangerous.
“Hey.”
But this time, Jung-ha didn’t let him go. He grabbed Yeon-woo’s slender wrist and, without hesitation, pulled him onto his lap.
In an instant, Yeon-woo found himself face-to-face with Jung-ha. His eyes widened, then his cheeks turned pink, just like the scarf around his neck.
“You’ve got way too many things you say you can’t do.”
“…Let me go.”
“I hate living by what other people tell me the most.”
“…”
They were too close. Jung-ha’s breath brushed across Yeon-woo’s soft cheek, and Yeon-woo instinctively shut his eyes.
“Try living by what you actually want.”
“W-what I want…?!”
The moment he heard that, Yeon-woo smacked his hands against Jung-ha’s chest and scrambled to his feet. Without answering, he turned and ran.
Jung-ha caught sight of the bright-red tips of Yeon-woo’s ears as he fled. He chuckled softly and ruffled his own hair with the hand that still held lingering warmth.
“Of course. Model student to the core.”
Yeon-woo’s thoughts were so painfully honest they were written all over his face. That was Seo Yeon-woo’s greatest charm.
At first, Jung-ha thought Yeon-woo was just another pessimist like his mother. If not for the way the boy’s face shone, Jung-ha would’ve walked right past him.
To think someone’s eyes could sparkle like that over studying. Every time he remembered, he couldn’t help but laugh.
Of everyone Jung-ha knew, no one had ever looked so happy staring at a problem set. No one ever would.
Tilting his head back against the tree, he gazed up at the sky. The wide-open heavens, and the white snowflakes drifting down, looked exactly like Seo Yeon-woo.
When had it begun?
The certainty that Seo Yeon-woo would rise again, shake off his misfortune. That in his wounded face, his pride was so fierce, like a bristling cat curling up to guard the fire burning inside. If Jung-ha hadn’t seen that, he would’ve wasted another year in crushing fatigue and boredom.
“Seo Yeon-woo.”
Softly, Jung-ha called his name. The sound echoed faintly through the quiet forest.
